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I Had A Panic Attack When Talking To My Wife

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I called my wife today on her cell, and she told me to call her office because it's cheaper.

I only wanted to talk for a couple of minutes. I was doing really well this morning, and wanted to share that with her. I get major panic attacks and have a hard time getting things done, so I was really happy that I had been able to actually get started on a project.

So, when I tried to call her office, I got a message. I live in Taiwan and don't speak Chinese so I can't understand what the message said.

I called my wife back and we got into this huge thing, all because I had only wanted to share something with her.

I couldn't bounce back after that and I didn't finish the project.

I get stuck and it's hard to get out of the anxiety, long after the immediate trigger ends.
 
I know it can be really hard to bounce back after such an attack hits you. Sometimes I can let it go, almost like it never happened, but at the other end of the spectrum, sometimes I need to just sleep off the rest of the day. I hate that it can vary so much, but I am working on getting most/all of my attacks to the point where I can recover fairly quickly. It's taken me awhile to get to this point, so I know I'll need to continue healing in order to get better control on the aftermath.

Have you been able to recognize any activities that help you bounce back? For me, sometimes self-talk using my CBT skills can really help my head get back into a better mental space. Sometimes I just need to take a time-out and do something completely mindless like watch TV or surf the internet. (I know others would advocate mindFULness, but with my obsessive thinking, sometimes its better to just do something completely mindless!)

I know it's not easy.
 
With things connected with my wife, I get the panic attacks and then I want to "punish" her, I think. It's not good behavior, but I haven't found a way to stop. It feels like I'm in a drama, watching myself act badly, but unable to control my thoughts, emotions or actions.
 
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