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I Had A Psychotic Breakdown

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Volwulf

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Recently, I've been trying to cope with what I feel very strongly is PTSD, but I haven't been clinically diagnosed. I've been reading about the symptoms of PTSD and researching it in textbooks, and it describes my behavior to a t. I've experienced more than one traumatic event, and it has been ruling my life, and I am sick of it. The day before yesterday, I tried to confront my experiences, a person was with me that I had recently been talking to about my trauma, and he seemed to understand, so I invited him over, and I thought I could make a friend while I was dealing with this crap, because I've been isolating myself so much over the past 5-6 years. To the point, I started trying to talk about it more, but I ended up on my hands and knees just screaming, "what the f*ck" at the top of my lungs. Before I knew it, I was in the hospital. They said I was suffering from acute psychosis. I remember bits and pieces of it, but I couldn't tell you exactly what I was thinking, but I remember being absolutely horrified during the breakdown, or whatever you want to call it. I scared other people, but I'm glad it didn't go further than that. I don't entirely know what to do. I would see a therapist, psychiatrist, whatever, but they remind me of a person linked to a past trauma, and that's why I avoid them. I'm at my wits end.
 
Recently, I've been trying to cope with what I feel very strongly is PTSD, but I haven't been clinicall...
They called it "acute psychosis" and maybe that is the correct term idk, but I had what they called a "psychotic break", (probably same or similar to you) and what it was, was intense emotional flashbacks of the trauma. I have had this several times to the point that I am not totally in reality due to the flashbacks. When the flashback is over, I am back in my normal reality. EMDR has helped me to heal and quit having the flashbacks. This requires a therapist. Perhaps if the original trauma you had involved a male, you could seek out a female therapist, or vice versa, to receive help without being re-traumatized.
 
Yeah, they did

I may be at my wit's end, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna let this beat me.
 
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You are going to need to weigh your fears of therapists against the possibility that your psychotic symptoms might reoccur. It might not be safe for you to work on dealing with the traumas you have experienced on your own without someone to guide you and teach you new coping skills. Right now, you are in a position where you could have a full recovery or you could become much sicker.
 
"Acute psychosis" is NOT the same as a "psychotic breakdown". Regardless, I hope you feel better soon.
 
I would see a therapist, psychiatrist, whatever, but they remind me of a person linked to a past trauma, and that's why I avoid them.

My therapist reminded me if my father for the first few years of our relationship. Those were tough times. I would go, and struggle to engage, and not feel like I got anything useful out of it. And I'd talk to my friends about how stupid he was, and how useless he was. And, fortunately for me, I had friends who understood how difficult therapy can be, and they talked me into going back, again and again.

It didn't help me that I'd had a number of problematic encounters with doctors in the past, and a really negative experience with antidepressant medication.

The Therapy subforum is something I suggest you look at, and post in. It is possible to get value from therapy when you're scared of the therapist. Difficult, painful and slow, but not impossible.
 
Yeah, they did
And...?

Can you list out specifically what about a therapist or psychiatrist will be upsetting?

I ask, because there are many different ways they work, locations they work out of, there's gender, and age, and temperament...

Instead of lumping the whole profession into the category called 'reminds me of bad stuff' - see if you can break it down and by doing that, arrive at some ideas of what kind of mental health team you could maybe tolerate.

Recently, I've been trying to cope with what I feel very strongly is PTSD, but I haven't been clinically diagnosed. I've been reading about the symptoms of PTSD and researching it in textbooks, and it describes my behavior to a t.
Also - you could be right about PTSD. But there are other diagnoses that can accompany acute psychosis, rumination, and any number of symptoms one might see in PTSD. If you are male, under the age of 25, and/or have a history of diagnosed mental illness in your family - it's definitely in your best interest to take your time finding some clinicians you can feel good about, so you can get a solid diagnosis.

(When self-diagnosing it's easy to miss the forest for the trees; you'll see all the bits that add up to a thing, and inadvertently under-report other things that are equally relevant. This is also why it's important to keep an open mind, when going through the diagnostic process.)
 
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Recently, I've been trying to cope with what I feel very strongly is PTSD, but I haven't been clinicall...
Well, that person may have said something that caused you to go into a psychotic breakdown, tough to say. But yes, you need that help. Try to look at people instead of their profession.
I was and still am horribly abused by strangers, security guards who are involving looser cops in their dangerous game. But in an emergency of course I would contact such forces.

In every single profession there are good people and bad people. You have to look at the human being behind the title.
 
Another thing to keep in mind is that the first step in dealing with trauma is getting to a place where you feel safe and stable. You don't mention how long you were in the hospital, but you may still be experiencing symptoms of psychosis which can include emotional instability. Instead of digging into your trauma, this should be a time to take a step back and do what you can to relax and make sure you're taking care of yourself.
 
"Acute psychosis" is NOT the same as a "psychotic breakdown". Regardless, I hope you feel better soon.[/...
Can you explain what you are saying? I mentioned "psychotic break", not psychotic breakdown. What is the difference between acute psychosis and pyschotic break by psychiatric definition?
 
I'm eating better after the event, I actually did a load of clothes, vacuumed, did all that stuff this week, and I've started drinking more water. I want to get better, I really do, I'm sick of being afraid all the time.
 
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