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I Hate Everything About The Mhs-and I Need Parts Of It.

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MT Johnny

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You would think the biggest trauma in my life would have been my gun wielding, volatile tempered, hateful and uber-abusive father. But no, it was being sent more or less against my will, to a psych day program a few years back. Not under any kind of imminent legal duress or whatever, but basically because a misdiagnosing quack with questionable ethics told me I had to because I was contemplating my own suicidality - and I was afraid to say "no" because I feared said quack would escalate to some kind of formally forced level. Like call the cops on me.

So I am in my PTSD mode all the time about that, as well as my hellish childhood. I just don't feel safe in a world where they can treat you like a criminal and lock you up against your will in a place guaranteed that people could heavily stigmatize you afterwards as "crazy" or whatever. I have really come to detest the idea of forced psychiatry except perhaps under the most dire circumstances of someone being a threat to others. As far as choosing one's own destiny, even if that means death, I believe it to be a natural right that transcends laws and customs (which is cultural and based on specific religious and socioeconomic beliefs from the ancient Eurocentric past, btw - off yourself and burn in Hell was a pretty effective way to prevent the serfs from offing themselves despite living in an quasi-slavery society - other cultures have viewed it as an acceptable and even honorable way out). I say if you voluntarily want to be stopped from self-harm, fine, but don't ram it down someone's throat. OK, enough about my crazy political theories and viewpoint Suffice it to say I'm no fan of the mental health system in this country - it should "do good" but often does as much harm as good for people.

The above may be contentious with some, but it's just how I feel - unsafe and bitter and stigmatized and victimized and forced to live in a world where they can haul you off like a criminal "for your own good" due to what they all claim is a "medical issue". Yeah, imagine the public outrage if they were to start hauling off leukemia patients or people with ALS who refuse or reject treatment. But it's ok to do that to "crazy people" per society.

The triggering things for me are 1) at this point, the intensity of the traumatic experience(s) and the aftermath PTSD'ing about it big-time forces me to be a consumer of said services and 2) my profession exposes me to the MHS in a pretty significant way and I have to suck it up and deal with it and "them" all of the time, from patients to psychiatrists and therapists and the court system.

A few years later, after enough therapy to choke an entire herd of horses, playing the musical psychiatrist game until I finally found one that actually treats me like an adult with rights and free will, riding the medication roller coaster, I do not feel safe, and I wonder if I ever can in a world where if I say or do the "wrong thing" in the eyes of the system or the law they could haul me off and lock me up "for my own good."

I guess I'm just a "hater" and like Taylor Swift says in "Shake It Off" the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.

I just don't feel safe anymore.
 
I'm not sure if you're looking for a response...but I agree with a lot of what you've said. I am very disheartened by the mental health system...and psychology/psychiatry in general...and yet I keep going back. Sigh.
 
The mental health system has many safeguards and what not to protect you and your rights , you need to be aware of them. I was put in a phsyc hospital many years ago to deal with my drug addiction, i had been clean for a few years and relapsed due to the stress of being an alcohol and drug counsellor and a few traumatic incidents that happened. I was very well known and very well regarded professionally . They put me in a out of the way physc hospital to protect my confidentiality and save me from possibly running into some of my clients. It was truly like a scene out of "one flew over the cuckoos nest". from this and a few other incidents i began to detest psychiatrists. After a while i learnt , to educate myself about my mental health rights, i also learnt to treat psychiatrist like every other dr and taught myself to speak up in a calm manner.

I know enjoy very good relationships with all my doctors and health care professionals, why ? because i learnt to speak up, protect myself and address my concerns in a non threatening manner and to this day enjoy seeing my doctors.

Now your other issue is the right to die ? if you wanted to do it...you would have by know , your still alive , screaming and kicking and writing long forum posts , youve obviously expended a lot of energy in explaining yourself . A person with leukemia is not a danger to society but a person with a mental illness can be unpredictable and in some cases dangerous to ones self or others.

The system you describe is not going to haul you off for saying the wrong thing , thats a result of not building a trust relationship with your doctor and from what you have written , i get the impression you let your anger , fears and what not spill out and color your interactions with your helpers. Sometimes we have to take a critical look at ourselves and ask ourselves what we would do if someone came in angry against the system , the first thing i would do is keep you at arms length until such time as we could develop a rapport and i as a helper felt safe around you
 
@darrenS, I clicked like but it is not enough. You articulated opinions that I hold strongly but could never put into words.

When one goes to a dr with hives, say, it's easy to SEE the problem - and therefore easy to just clam up and let the doctor diagnose and treat. But when the problem is more nuanced, communication really really matters.

And yeah, it's really hard to communicate well when you are having psychiatric symptoms -
But the fact that it's hard doesn't remove the responsibility to try.

Also, when you know you need s relationship with the mental health system, for goodness sake people, build one when you are a bit more healthy. I think there is so much patient fear, unfounded - it keeps people from engaging in their treatment until it is almost too late.

I'm not saying there's no
such thing as a sudden mental health crisis. And experiences following those can be terrifying. BUT - once you know you are capable of sliding that far down, instead of swearing that you'll never go there for help again (I mean the general 'you'), why not invest in learning how to USE the help so it's not so scary next time?
 
The mental health system has many safeguards and what not to protect you and your rights , you need to be aware of them.
I think the critical point here is "you need to be aware of them". I suspect many people in crisis are not able to comprehend their rights and sometimes the people "in charge" either don't have the time, the energy, the compassion or the knowledge to explain these rights.

I think there are a lot of ignorant, bad, or simply overworked mental health professionals out there and they can be extremely harmful - especially to someone who is in a vulnerable place.

The system you describe is not going to haul you off for saying the wrong thing

I can tell you, from experience, that this is not true.

I believe you (@darrenS) and @MT Johnny have opinions regarding the "mental health system" that are diametrically opposed, but that the truth is somewhere in between.
 
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