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I Hate Myself Today

Well, I am re readind this thread and I feel a little diferent. I always hoped that everything that has happenned will bring me some learning and experience on life, so I could be aware of my distorted thinking and mistakes, and put them right.
At the moment, I don't expose myself into any tricky situation. I can't avoid all, but most of them.
I have lived too exposed to others opinions, etc, and I don't want it for me. I am an introverted lady, always have been. I didn't like the same things than other kids. My perfect time was with a good book and walking into the woods.
Always loved art, drawing mainly and been outdoors, lost in some beach, woods, little rivers. Plants, insects and trees. Many people doesn't, they are interested in other stuff, and it is ok, but not my tribe
 
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From the last Christmas, I have been removing myself from meaningless conections, dry and problematic. I have bad temper and it is not easy to make real conection with me. Also there is not many people interested. Close ones, partner, alwas says I am very easy with others. His mum has been horrible to me. She make up to be my feiend, and I ws so needy I put down my walls. Now, I am sorry and angry couse I have done it. I want her into distance. She is sweet and kind, very different to my mother, and I wanted to have that. But this sweetness and love was give nto me in order she could be closer to his son, not to me. I thought I had a friend.on her. Never have a real close friend, and I was yelling for one. But she has betrayed me, so I gradually have been more and more isolated. I am in a point that I don't like. Bitterness and desheartening feeling are growing deep inside
 
My perfect time was with a good book and walking into the woods.
Always loved art, drawing mainly and been outdoors, lost in some beach, woods, little rivers. Plants, insects and trees. Many people doesn't, they are interested in other stuff, and it is ok, but not my tribe

You know there is nothing wrong with any of that, right?! Introverts are the idea people. We take the time to think and explore new ideas. We think outside the box because we are outside the box. Albert Einstein, Rosa Parks, Steve Wozniak and many others were introverts who helped shaped the world we know now.

I'm with you. I love the outdoors. I love the wilderness. Plants, insects, trees were my true interests growing up. They are again now.
 
You know there is nothing wrong with any of that, right?! Introverts are the idea people. We take the t...
Thank you! I know I am introverted, but also need people, friendship. Also been fulled by a Cult make difficult to trust on my self, on my judgement about people and in what truly need. Confusing...and thanks again for your caring and supportive words. Maria
 
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