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Undiagnosed I Have Ptsd Symptoms After I Was Arrested During A Peaceful Protest Several Months Ago.

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sarafina

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At first I had symptoms for a few days. I read that this was normal but not really PSTD, For a long time I did not think very much about what had happened. This is a summary:

There was an environmental protest and about 150 people participated. There seemed to be almost as many police there as protestors. They were in vans and cars, on horseback and on bicycle with helmets and visors and shields, even the horses had visors. They were ready with tear gas and rubber bullets and had real guns. I saw two people roughly thrown to the ground, another protestor had a wrist broken. We were turned back and circled and forced to go into a small dark area near a tall office building and stay there for an hour. We were about 30 people including someone from the media who was treated like just another protestor. There were media helocopters above filming us and some of us had photos in newspapers. People looked at us like we were crazy dangerous people because we care about the planet. This was several months ago.

Now, since I had to write a report of what I personally recalled, I have had some strange dreams, a lot of anxiety, a feeling of hypervigilance (no I do not have combat training but running away was not allowed as an option), and because of lack of sleep I suffer from insomnia. I did not tell my family doctor about the PTSD - I want to find non-medical therapist so I will not be stigmatized or have problems getting work in future. I am coping but I would like to hear from others with similar experiences with police or even combat experience that I can relate to. The group I was arrested with has been somewhat supportive but we do not meet that often. I thought after a couple of weeks that this would just go away but I still feel tense, distrustful of all police, today, for example, I saw a white taxi cab that looked like a police car and I was checking to see if I was being watched by driver.

I will not have a criminal record - this is more like an expensive traffic ticket with a lot of over-the-top police harassment. We call it political profiling in my city. I am suprised by my reactions to the event. I still have to go through a long collective defense process - in the end I will probably have to do community service.
 
WOW! What an awful thing for a peaceful demonstration on an important but non violent issue. I feel for you.

I have no experience like this, though I used to regularly deal with police officers when I owned a motel. They came in and arrested folks who were staying at the motel who were doing illegal things. I would cooperate with the police as best as I could. I didn't get in trouble then, but I got burned out, exhausted, went into a decline and slept for 3 months. When I awoke, I found more illegal activity going on in the motel than before, and one police officer came by and told me it was my fault and that I could be arrested for all this illegal activity that was going on in my motel.

So I handed the motel back to the bank, lost all the money I'd invested in it and ended up homeless for 3 years. During those 3 years I was raped, and here I am, PTSD.

I don't know if this has any similarity to your situation or not. But I thought I'd share it anyway.
 
You might consider reading books like In a Different Voice by Peter Levine to learn about the different ways and hows PTSD can be sustained. And check in with a trauma therapist to see what s/he diagnoses and advises.
 
so I will not be stigmatized
Welcome to the forum sarafina. To be honest with you, I've got the impression, that you're stigmatizing yourself right now... From what you wrote, you already "diagnosed" yourself, and that isn't a helpful thing to do. To have PTSD (like) symptoms and really have developed PTSD, isn't the same.
a feeling of hypervigilance (no I do not have combat training
I'm not sure if I get what you want to express... (For having hypervigilance doesn't automatically mean, one must have be in a combat, to have developed it...) I would appreciate, if you could explain your thoughts any further.

Also, I'd like to encourage you, to look for a reliable trauma specialist to get a proper diagnosis. I understand your fears, and your need to know, what is going on in your head. But you're not doing yourself a favour, by "diagnosing" yourself.
 
I'm not sure how one can self diagnose, as I know no different and I struggle with the concept of this diagnosis quite a bit of the time. I would definitely get a professional opinion as symptoms are extremely hard to validate for someone with ptsd. Self diagnosis for ptsd is almost impossible I thought, but I wish you well...... and thankyou for doing your part for the environment (((hugs))) if you accept them.
 
Hi and welcome. Please seek out a trauma therapist so they can determine exactly what's going on with you. Self diagnosis isn't possible with PTSD as getting a diagnosis is a bit more involved than checking off symptoms on a list. Also, by refusing to get a diagnosis to preserve future job options, you may actually be doing yourself a disservice.
 
Hi Sarafina,

Welcome to the forum!

Many of the symptoms you describe can be associated with a variety of disorders and that is why getting a diagnosis is so important in setting up a treatment plan. For yourself, check out ways to manage the symptoms and if the insomnia continues talk about it with your GP. Lack of sleep does have a detrimental effect psychologically, emotionally and physically.

Debbie
 
I would like to respond to Sheila Kathy as this is the most supportive thing I have read in response to my first participation. For the rest of you this is the situation. I am on social assistance. There is no money or insurance available to pay for a trauma specialist. I live in an area where there are not many trauma specialists available for soldiers returning from Afghanistan who have severe and usually diagnosed PTSD. What I said about combat training was in reference to the recommended PTSD article on this forum. If you read all the articles you will catch my drift. I am self-diagnosed according to criteria established by psychiatrists at the present time. It is over 6 months since the event. The symptoms are different from what I have experienced in the past with general anxiety and depression. There is probably overlap of symptoms but I am using this forum primarily to get support around a specific event and my reactions.

Sheila is the only one, I think, who had said anything about the event itself. I have had many dreams specific to the event which is why I mentioned one of them. I came to this forum for support because I can not afford therapy. As for stigmatization, in the past a doctor refused to sign a letter I needed for employment because of mild depression and this was a threat to my ability to get off social assistance. I have told my doctor ( a new one that changes every 2 years - this time around I have a better one) I have anxiety and mild depression and difficulty sleeping but not the whole story. She does not have time for the whole story and she is a resident in training, not a seasoned GP or a psychiatrist.

Where I live access to psychiatry is paid for by my government but limited to those that need help with things like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and severe depression. I am deemed as someone who is not at high risk and anyway, psychiatry here does not include therapy only medications and PTSD is largely a psychological condition. So please, if you have enough money for therapy I am happy for you but do not offer me this advice that I am not able to follow. I am trying to find some kind of local support group but the trauma I experienced is not common like sexual assault, for example. I kind of feel like I have been psychologically raped. I feel like I no longer live in a democracy and see growing fascist repression. But to address this issue I would seek a more political forum.

If you have experienced anything similar, even if it is not exactly the same, then I would like to hear about your symptoms, what was helpful, whether it came out of your own experience or was learned from a therapist. If you have ever felt that your life or safety or human dignity was under assault then I REALLY want to hear from you. If it is ONLY to give advice then I would rather not hear from you, however, a few suggestions intermingled with sharing about what you have experienced is more helpful.
 
May I ask what country you are from. Example: Australia 10 free visits for a psychologist. This is after a recommendation from your GP. A psychiatrist is only needed is you are going to be administerd drugs if psychotherapy is too intense or if you are at high risk of self harm. A lot of people here are not working. I don't think writing about our symptoms will benefit you in any way as it would just aid to your self diagnosis. I know you will not like my reply however self diagnosis is not a good way. What you could be doing if you do have ptsd is restricting yourself to treatment. In a way self diagnosis is a set up for failure. I wish you well.
 
The only way I would be eligible for free psychotherapy is if I had been assaulted by some one who is not a police officer while I was not doing anything in violation of a municipal by-law. Sometimes these "illegal" demos are allowed to take place without the cops intervening. None of us expected such a massive response by riot police. But I can not sue the city for damages.

Last time I had free thereapy was after a boyfrined threatened to shoot me and I had to go to a shelter for awhile and to court. He is now deceased so can never bother me again by the way.

I have some symptoms of PTSD but they are getting better not worse. I do not have full-fledged flashbacks - mostly intrusive thoughts, insomnia, dreams related to event, obsession with police around me, hypervigilance, anxiety and mild burnout from lack of sleep. Ideally I should have therapy but this is not available to me.

I would like to hear from anyone who has experienced similar symptoms in response to similar events.
 
@sarafina, people here are responding the way they are because we have been officially diagnosed by a psychiatrist, which means we have dealt with something that fits under Criterion A of PTSD. And... as was noted, just because you have PTSD symptoms, doesn't mean you have PTSD. Personally, I wouldn't wish PTSD on anyone, it is a horrible terrible disorder, so when people come on here and self-diagnose they are questioned, not to be rude, but because most of us wouldn't wish PTSD on anyone.
 
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