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Undiagnosed I Have Ptsd Symptoms After I Was Arrested During A Peaceful Protest Several Months Ago.

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Maybe this is not the forum for me. I am not getting the support I was looking for, except from Sheila. I am not trying to invalidate ANYONE by saying I felt psychologically raped. I felt violated on a psycholgical level by what I experienced. I am not invalidating anyone who has experienced actual rape or sexual asasault and how does anyone know whether or not I have also experienced these further back??

Also, because I do not have a psychiatrist or therapist and I am not able to get one I do not feel that this is the right forum for me. I do not feel safe here because I have received far more criticism than support. I will therefore look for another forum feels less like I being constricted into a box. I was traumatized by being forced to stay in a physical space but now I feel constricted in a psychological kind of a kettle-zone. I need place where I feel that I can not express myself more freely without feeling attacked or given advice that I am not able to follow. Good-bye all.
 
I am just letting people know that I have found a new forum which I hope will better meet my needs. I will still post to support others here but not to find support for myself as I will look for support on the other forum.
 
You're not finding support because of your "my way or the highway" attitude. Nothing more, nothing less.

There ARE other un diagnosed "sufferers" here but they CLAIM it. They are open about being un diagnosed and don't try to say they know as much as a psychiatrist by saying "I have self diagnosed PTSD". We aren't making up the fact that you can't self diagnose. Diagnosing is a bit more involved than simply checking items off a list as you have done, but you refuse to acknowledge this.

We would not be doing you any favors by supporting your notion that you have PTSD as it may not be PTSD.
 
If you read my last Sat, post about my non-eligibility for therapy you will read the following:
"I have some symptoms of PTSD..."

I corrected myself because it was pointed out that I do not have the expertise to diagnose myself. But it seems that nothing I say is quite good enough and I detect a strain of harshness in far too many of the replies from some individuals. I do not feel safe to share here as I may accidentally say the wrong thing and keep getting criticized instead of supported.

You have said nothing about anything else I have said, Solara. I need support but I am not finding it here and for this reason had to look for another forum.
 
Support comes in many different forms. Quite often the best kind of support isn't necessarily what we ask for but what others are willing and able to give.
 
Hi Sarafina,
You commented on my post so I thought I would come to your aid as well.
It sounds like you were kettled by the SPVM. Classic riot tactic for them. Not cool. Because of my PTSD I cannot attend protests - even ones that are supposed to be peaceful. I was saved by the police in my situation, but since the student protests in our city, I have become very conflicted about them. Another aspect of our society that struck me was your comment that...
. I came to this forum for support because I can not afford therapy. .
It deeply saddens me that our government has failed us. People with mental health issues - even mild ones - deserve to be treated and covered by medicare, just like other ailments! It is simply not fair. I can sense that your issues are being compounded by the lack of help available to you. Please be strong, and I hope that you can find the support you need from these forums.

:hug: big hug!
 
Thank you so much! You even are from the same city or you know which police I am talking about!! That is SO amazing and you seem to really understand. I found out that I can get on a waiting list at the CLSC (I think you know what that is) for 12 sessions of free therapy but I do not know if they will be able to provide me with any PTSD expertise. I am just glad that my symptoms are mild and subsiding. Also I have just contacting the other kettle-zone kids we have our own group, most are younger than me, I'm in my 50's so anyone under 25 seems like a kid to me- no offesnse intended. Anyway I just put the question out there if any of them are having similar experiences with intrusive thoughts or strange dreams or anxiety that was not there before. I thought of this because I was re-reading Trauma & Recovery book at a library and it said that one of the most helpful things for soldiers with combat related PTSD is the close ties with others in their unit. So I was thinking that maybe there are others in my group that I could reconnect to in spite of some language and age barriers.

One thing that people should know who do not live in my city is that several mentally ill people have been shot and killed over the years by police. At the demo there was the possibility that one cop would overreact and start actually shooting. A lot of my stress is seeing young people harassed because I am a mom too. There was a lady with a young child age 2 or 3 in a stroller and I was so scared that the cops on big horses would trample the kid. She got away in time - by some miracle she was able to get her babysitter to come and take the kid out of there but she stayed, I think. In one of my dreams I am back in the kettle-zone and I keep seeing kids; every time I look up I see another kid or two until I count 6, In real life there was only one girl under 18 - Sorry I should say a young woman.

I appreciate this kind of help from the forum. I like to hear about actual experiences as this is validating for me and I feel less alone. Any kind of scary experience involving crowds or small spaces will do.
 
You might consider reading books...

I wanted to reply to Franciemarnie - I will look for the book you recommended, A Different Voice by Peter Levine. I finding reading is helpful since I can not pay for thereapy right now. I am reading a book called: What Doesn't Kill Us: The New Psychology of Posttraumatic Growth by Stephen Joseph, Ph.D. which is about the positive as well as negative effects of trauma.
 
I can sense that your issues are being compounded by the lack of help available to you...

Reply to Carharjo -- Good news!!! I just got an e-mail a few minutes ago from a member of the group that I was kettled with - for those who do not know this term, it is when police at a protest herd the protestors and make them sit in the street or in another space and keep them there as many hours as they want. By law it can not be 24 hours but it can be uncomfortable for those needing a washroom. I had taken care of that before hand, thankfully. Others kettled with me passed around water and we kept each other's spirits up. A close relationship quickly developed with the group members even though I do not usually think of myself as a radical. I just want families to be able to eat food that is not carcinogenic because of toxic industry in the province where I was born, this is why I was willing to face the possibility of riot police - their response was way beyond anything I expected--anyway, back to the good news: :-)

There is a special therapy group for people who have been arrested by police and who have PTSD. I do not yet know the cost or qualifications of the therapist but I sent her an e-mail. At least I may be able to get some specific help sooner rather than wait for 2 years to see someone at my local government clinic who probably does not even have any PTSD experience. So now I will tie up this thread unless anyone wants to reply. I am glad for this forum although it has been a mixed blessing. I had hoped to hear more from those who have faced police in a traumatic way or anyone with a gun or a crowd situation where violence was possible, or forcible detention or confinement, my current issues.
 
@sarafina, you're in Quebec? If you are in Canada, anyway, please consider trying any of these:

Mental Health Services at your local/closest large hospital. Contact them to see if you can receive an intake appointment. After an intake, you should be able to access a psychiatrist and/or a counselor.

Your local community health centre, if you have one. You'd have to fill out an application and qualify for services, but if you do, then you should be able to access free counseling services (this sometimes includes trauma therapy). You can also do both at the same time.
 
Yes, I know all about these. I have explained some of the difficulties with access in my other posts. I have found a therapist who is starting a support group specifically for people who have bee arrested during protests who have PTSD symptoms. The local clinic systems (CLSCs) offer free therapy but there is a LONG waiting list and I have no idea if there is any specific trauma care available. Still I will probably put myself on the list. This in addition to joining the support group. Psychiatry here does not offer much real therapy and is mostly focused on helping schizophrenics and bipolar people. I have tried this before after a traumatic event and got only 4 sessions and this was focused on discussion of medications. Now I do not even think that 4 sessions would be available as we have a severe shortage of psychiatrists here.
 
@sarafina - Given that I didn't know what the initials of the one group you mentioned stood for and which particular organizations you've tried, I offered you the information I had. Both services should offer you counseling. I know that the popular opinion of the board is trauma therapy matters most but counseling can help in the interim and/or alongside trauma therapy. I made amazing progress in two years of counseling prior to trauma therapy being available in my vicinity. They may tell you two years, but it may end up being shorter and it's also better to be on the waiting list and end up not needing it than it is to sign up months or years later at the bottom of the list if your symptoms end up persisting.

A psychiatric appointment may help you receive a diagnosis and then you would know how to proceed, it needn't involve any kind of medication. If you do receive a diagnosis, there may be further options for you.

I'm not sure why you think talking to your family doctor or a psychiatrist would hurt your chances of getting a job. (This is a statement and not an attack.) As far as I understand it, your medical records should be totally separate from anything to do with your employment. But if you are suffering from PTSD or PTSD-like symptoms, maybe do what you can to address that first and worry about employment later. If you have PTSD or something similar, you may not be able to work anyway. If you fear disclosing the particular circumstances (I only just remembered that protests/demonstrations of a certain size are illegal in Quebec, if that's where you are) involving the fact that it was the police who held you, simply mention that you were forcibly confined/detained against your will by someone(s) who were armed and that you were in fear for your life and the symptoms you've been experiencing since.

Also, if you tried therapy pre-traumatic event and now have had a traumatic event, what therapy is available to you may have changed. There is also a mental health hospital in Montreal - it's possible that they offer services and/or support groups that will help (and if you enroll in your hospital's mental health services, you may be able to access group therapy too). Again, you may already know about this but given that specific service avenues weren't disclosed, I'm offering the information and resources I'm aware of and have utilized myself as someone who is also on social assistance in, I think, the same country as you. It may not be perfect, but it's also better than nothing. I'm not trying to be harsh at all, but I am advising that you utilize/exhaust all the resources available to you - you don't yet know if trauma therapy will be an option or how many psychiatric sessions you may be able to receive or if either of those options or counseling will assist you, but there's really only one way to find out - by trying them. They may work, they may not, but do what you can with what you have and as you're doing it, you may find that other options become available to you as funding, resources and hopefully even laws change.
 
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