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I Have Recently Been Diagnosed With PTSD

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by detached, May 1, 2007.

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  1. detached

    detached New Member

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    I have recently been diagnosed with PTSD by my doctor. She has asked me to try taking anti-depressants. I was feeling very reluctant to take them but decided to trust my doc's advice. I have been on EFFEXOR for one week now and I thought that it was helping but today I'm sure that it's not. I know that I need to give it more than a week- I guess. But I'm not sure that it will ever help my mood.

    I'm currently having problems with my live-in BF. He knows my history and that I've got PTSD. He also knows that I'm taking effexor. Today I am back to feeling---well you know-"off" and he's noticed. He asked me what's wrong and I simple said "nothing". What am I suppose to say-I'm feeling depressed again? I'm not depressed I just don't feel anything at the moment. Plus I feel like he shouldn't ask me-It's obvious that I'm down, but he already knows that I'm dealing with PTSD. I realize that he don't understand it but I have tried to explain it to him. And I have even told him that I could show him some info off the internet that would help him to understand it. But he has never looked. It's like he doesn't want to know about it. But then when I'm feeling this way he's mad...

    I tired of trying to put on a happy face for him. Hell I'm tired of trying to put on a happy face for myself. It never works I just end up feeling like this again.

    sorry about the negativity-I'm just so frustrated and tired of dealing with PTSD. It seems like I'm in a never ending cycle of ups and downs.

    detached
     
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  3. cactus_jack

    cactus_jack Well-Known Member

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    Detached, I think he asked because he cares. That means an awful lot, really.
     
  4. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Hi detached, welcome to the forum.
     
  5. detached

    detached New Member

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    He's not supportive

    It's the way he asked-he seemed mad and he was like "What's wrong with you now". He's not supportive. He makes me feel bad about haveing PTSD. Like I should just suck it up or something because it's getting on his nerves. When I'm feelings cold I get very quiet and his only response is that he spends all his time in another room away from me. I don't blame him in one way. I realize that I am hard to be around when I'm depressed. I just expected him to be different. He hasn't even looked up any info on PTSD to try to understand it. And when I told him that I was going to take Anti-depressants he gave me the impression that he wasn't happy about it.
    It's hard to explain. I'm not sure if we're gonna make it through this.
    Has anyone else had a partner act this way?
     
  6. cactus_jack

    cactus_jack Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry Detached.
     
  7. detached

    detached New Member

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    I am freaking out right now. I can't handle all of this at the same time. Nobody understands.

    I am in a situation and I can't think anymore. I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense. I just don't know what to do.

    This is what happened........

    For the past few days my BF (who I live with) and I haven't been talking. I've been depressed and quiet. When I get like this he gets mad and doesn't talk or even stay in the same room with me. Last night he came home drunk and we got in a fight. He said things like "your nothing but a heartless b****" and was screaming at me that he has more to deal with than I do and that I'm all about me... I was crying so hard. He knows that I was recently diagnosed with ptsd and that I'm on anti-depressants. I'm not all about me-I never am. He said that he can't be around me anymore b/c I'm too cold and that I'm bringing him down all the time.

    We have been together for 3+ years and I have always supported him. I don't know why he's like this. He made me feel very low. I know that I am cold sometimes but that's b/c of the ptsd. I have told him that. I tried to explain ptsd to him but I find it very hard to talk about. So I told him that I can show him a web site where he could read about it but he never did. I just don't think he wants to know about it. If he really cared about me he would have right? He wouldn't be acting this way? He said that I don't have ptsd and that I'm just a cold heartless person. Why does he think this?

    Today he said that he was sorry and he read the information on ptsd and said that it described me exactly. He said that he acted that way last night b/c he was drunk and that he does believe that I have ptsd now.????? I told him that I don't think I can be in a relationship right now. That I think I need to be alone to work through this. He wants me to stay and let him help me??? But I don't think he can handle this. And I can't handle his kind of "support" right now. I feel soooo drained.

    I told him that I would think about it. But I don't think I should stay with him any longer. He has never been supportive about this since I first told him I was drugged and raped. Hell he didn't even believe me at first!! Do you know what that's like to have the first person that you tell not believe you. And have that person be your partner too. It made me question everything I knew. It made me re-live everything that happened.

    So I guess that's it then. I should leave this relationship?Right? What would you do?

    God, I hate to be ranting on about all my problems but I can't help it. Life sucks right now. I was just diagnosed with ptsd, am on anti-d's (that don't seem to be working), possibly breaking up. Which means that I'll have to move half way around the country. I just moved here not a year ago. That means interviews and a new job, another new city....I can't handle all of this right now. How am I going to do this?
    [​IMG]
     
  8. Monarch

    Monarch I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    Detached, something you will learn is, if they are toxic people you can't have them in your life, it makes healing from PTSD harder.
     
  9. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    The part that surprises me is you go a few days mad and it is a major issue. I am just guessing you are youthful as it is normal without PTSD in a relationship. And the drunk behavior is just that. If it is daily then screw it, but if not and this is serious (3 years sounds it) then counseling to learn to function through this together would be a good option. Couples counseling is needed to work through this together at the start in my opinion.
     
  10. detached

    detached New Member

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    Thank you for your advice.
    I'm not sure what I'm gonna do about our relationship. One minute I want it to end and then I think that I'm making a mistake...

    I''m not sure if I can really make any judgment calls right now. I have a doctor appointment on Monday. I'm gonna run all of this by her and see if she thinks I am headed in the right direction with regards to my health. Because the only thing that I am sure about is that I need to get my depression under some kind of control.

    For the time being I'm going to tell my BF that I need some space for a couple of weeks to sort myself out. If he can't wait then that's that. But I'm simply too depressed and confused right now to make a decision and know that it's right. But if I'm force to I will follow my gut and right now it's telling me that this has become an unhealthy relationship. Mostly due to me but partly due to him as well.

    All I want at this point is to feel like me again. To know that I have become the person that I was ment to be-you know?

    Wish me luck

    [​IMG]
     
  11. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Relationships are something only you can decide. The only thing I will say to you is that you need to look at what you feel. If you love them, and you know they love you, and you both have the others best interests at heart, are warm, careing and just generally available for the other, then maybe counselling is a good option. If the relationship is generally up and down like a rollercoaster, maybe a better option to get out.

    Either way, only you can make the decision and only you can look at all the facts within your life. The thing is, you have to do it in entirety and try to remove your own bias even. Even have friends that know you both comment to you in order to confirm or deny your own thoughts.
     
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