1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

The Daily Dose

Get the last 24hrs of new topics delivered to your inbox.

Click Here to Subscribe

I Have To Say, I Do Need Some Experience

Discussion in 'General' started by dljwhitewolf, Jun 2, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. dljwhitewolf

    dljwhitewolf Active Member

    225
    17
    0
    When it comes ptsd, and i have complex ptsd, I would rather have someone around that kind of understands it then someone who i know i will have to take charge of.
    :gunem-dow
     
  2. Register to participate in live chat, PTSD discussion and more.
  3. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

    3,807
    884
    4,653
    ummmm...

    could you explain what you mean a bit more? I could interupet that a few ways...

    bec
     
  4. dljwhitewolf

    dljwhitewolf Active Member

    225
    17
    0
    Yeah, that was kind of vague. I am female, and very strong, a take charge person. And when I date, I try to find someone as strong, though it seems impossible.
    It comes down to this more or less, if two people are sleeping and they both get awoken by a noise, who gets up?
    It's always me.
    And it comes to play as far as if I have to protect even more people with no equal help in a partner, I feel superior, physically and mentally, and at the age of 44, I feel to grown to babysit.
    I guess protection mode kicked in way to early for a person, I was three and my brother was five, and I protected him until he died of Huntington's disease at the age of 35.
    When I meet someone I let them know who I am immediately, and that my flashbacks will not interfere with their life, and no they don't have to do anything, and no I won't go berserk, and yes I am fully aware of what I am going through etc. I try to be by myself anyway since I talk through it and reveal very horrific events, and don't want to let others hear such things.
    I just want someone around who gets it and me, basically is what I meant.
    I don't want anyone around that wants minor boo boos constantly coddled.
    But as far as real terrors, I have a heart of gold for them.
    I am an ego booster for others, just would like to have one around in my corner on occasions, but that means they would have to understand me, and that is a hard find.
     
  5. WarHippy1%

    WarHippy1% Active Member

    73
    3
    1,278
    Whatcha doin this weekend? Need some protection?
    Qualifications:
    Vietnam: 25 months
    Jobs: Combat Engineer
    Company Sniper-4 kills
    Permanent Perimeter Guard
    Dump Truck Driver
    MP- Punishment for being a trouble maker
    Post Vietnam:
    Member of the MONGOLS Motorcycle Club-10 years
    10 years living in an HA state
    Even my Brothers say, "That WarHippy is a crazy M***erf**ker!"
    Today is a good day to die, but I'm not goin alone
    Consider hyper-vigilance to be a bonus in life
    AND........ I can make kickass brownies
     
  6. Portabella

    Portabella Well-Known Member

    452
    22
    0
    War Hippy you crack me up!
     
  7. dljwhitewolf

    dljwhitewolf Active Member

    225
    17
    0
    Yes warhippy is great. I have a fond kinship with vietnam veterans. I understand them all too well.
    Thanks warhippy
     
  8. kers

    kers I'm a VIP

    2,790
    991
    4,653
    WarHippy, I like that! I'm getting a little tired of being annoyed with my symptoms--annoying or not, they're sticking with me! Might as well get a good point of view on 'em.
     
  9. WarHippy1%

    WarHippy1% Active Member

    73
    3
    1,278
    Well, I was being serious. I guess I do have to say, when I tell about my life, most people do start laughing, or say, "You've GOT to be joking!". Truth is, it was just a life to me. When I was involved in Alcoholics Anonymous, I used to speak often at the jails and institutions meetings. It never failed, after the meeting, at least two inmates would walk over to me and say, "We thought we had it rough, but if you can get sober, we know for sure it will work for us". And most of the time, I skimmed over the bad parts. I have to admit, I would have really liked a lot more of a Love life, but, if inmates relate to me, I'm probably lucky for what I did have. But, shit howdy Ladies, it might have been funny (YUK YUK) but it was all true, even the 4 kills.
    Respectfully,
    WarHippy1%
     
  10. cactus_jack

    cactus_jack Well-Known Member

    916
    467
    10,583
    I understand what whitewolf is saying.

    Better to be with those that know first hand from their own experiences what the hell we are living with really is instead of some pencil-pushing college grad that read about it in a damn book and now thinks they know all about it when in reality they don't know jack shit except how to make it worse without really understanding that they're making it worse.


    It's like trusting a 9 year old kid to drive an 18 wheeler. Sure, there's a kid or two out there that age than can drive one, but do you wanna trust one and risk finding out that they can't?
     
  11. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

    3,807
    884
    4,653
    Ohhh I've knocked around this concept a time or two. Hehe, told Anthony we should start a PTSD dating site for PTSD'ers! LOL..

    Anyways, I don't know what the answer to this is, perhaps a balance between a partner having compassion, knowledge, willingness to learn and some understanding. Remember though that a relationship takes two and we need to be willing to be patient and give prospective partners a chance too.

    Aside from that, I get really annoyed with non-sufferers that give out really stupid advice because it works for them! My thoughts are read up on it before opening your big stupid mouth!!

    bec

    P.S. I'm single and staying that way for now. Focusing on my son and I healing is so much more important that dating some frigging man.
     
  12. dljwhitewolf

    dljwhitewolf Active Member

    225
    17
    0
    Warhippy, I can understand the "it's a good day to die, but I'm not going alone."
    I guess I was four, and heard, " get the girl, she knows to much,", and then someone handed me a live pineapple, well I was already versed in their ways, so I did three mississippis, throwing it up in my hand, aimed, flung with a " here ya go, fxcker," got down behind a tree, man he ran fast, but I got him square in the back. He looked like a puppet being pulled apart very very quickly. I laughed.
    I had to protect my brother and I, tried with the stupid drugged up runaway pregnant girls, but no one listens to a little kid.
    Sarge said I was a major warrior at birth.
    Well, there was one, I thought she was a china doll, she played with me all day, we were twirling around holding hands, like the sixties vision. I tried to tell her to run away, that they were bad, she laughed at me. They had her hoodwinked.
    Any way when they did get her, just one to the forehead, up close, the real world entered a bunch of good guys started running toward whatever wooded area we were in, (they always blindfolded me in the cars), well the bad guys all ran in one direction, so the good guys followed them.
    I was left alone on the path with my post mortem friend. I started dragging her into the woods down toward a stream. I would go back to where I started and dusted all the trails we made away, (good little injun girl that I was), I dragged and dusted for what seemed like forever, she was heavy, but my adrenalin kept me going.
    Finally I felt safe enough to make her a bed.
    It was indian summer so there were lots of leaves around.
    I think at this point, because I finally got to be alone, I thought somehow I could make her come back.
    If I just warmed her enough. Well I was just a baby. So I dressed her head with lovely late flowers, and made a cover of leaves for her.
    It started getting dark, I just prayed for her, and held her and kept her as warm as I could.
    But I won with her. No one violated her, or did the things they do. I cleaned her up and made her face smile again.
    I gave her the best burial I could. Sarge didn't know why I ever bothered trying to find the families of those I did care about. But I wanted to tell them that I gave them the best burials I could, and that their spirits were guided upward. (I'm an elder shaman, born that way, please don't squeeze the shaman)
    Anyway the missing childern only go back to 71', when all the true good guys came home. I met with federal people but they had no listings of the people I remembered. Oh well, I tried. But my favorite one flies around with my brother, smiling down on me. She is more beautiful then ever.
     
Loading...
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Show Sidebar