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I Haven't Been Around - Just No Emotional Capability To Support At Present

Discussion in 'Social' started by Nam, May 29, 2007.

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  1. Nam

    Nam I'm a VIP

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    I am alive. :smile: Those of you that have been trying to get a hold of me, I'm sorry I haven't responded. I have been busy, but mostly it's because I'm deep in thought and quite distracted. I feel that I can't expose myself to some of the ptsd stuff right now. It's hard for me to be reminded how painful that journey was. I know it's selfish because those of you that are going through it still need support from us that have already gone through it, but I'm finding that I don't have any emotional energy left to support anyone else. Please understand....

    I need to be in a good place mentally and emotionally before this baby decides to make it's arrival. I'm still dealing with fear and confidence issues that come up when I think of myself being in labor. At times, I think that I must be quite crazy to think this much about this, but my last two births were prior to the memories returning. It has been a difficult journey trying to find the perfect birth attendant and I'm still struggling where to have this baby. I was already kicked out of one practice for refusing certain protocols!

    So, I guess I've become withdrawn. I don't think this is bad though. It's nesting to a new level. I'm trying to only surround myself with people who are supportive and happy and I'm trying to limit my exposure to negative energy. (Anyone think I'm a bit nuts yet?)

    Lately, I have been stressed out because the baby has been showing signs of coming too early. So far so good as the contractions have eased up a bit. I really don't want to walk into a hospital unless I have to. So, I'll be doing some resting. I have been keeping track of how many contractions per hour and exactly what I'm eating, and what kind of activity I've been doing (per midwife's request)

    Overall, I'm doing really well. My anxiety has been under control. The midwife is starting to wean me off Wellbutrin and starting me on some herbs that will be more beneficial to the baby, especially once I start nursing. My sleep is only interrupted when I have to pee, so very minor compared to a nightmare! And I'm staying healthy by eating well, resting, and getting gentle exercise everyday. Please don't worry about me! I'm good!

    I'll keep you guys updated through this forum. Baby is due mid to late August.
     
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  3. batgirl

    batgirl I'm a VIP

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    No worries Nam, you should take care of yourself first, definitely, and especially since you are pregnant. I'm glad you came to let us know how you and the baby are doing. I understand wanting to be around positive people too... makes sense. I sometimes think I should take a long break from here myself. I hope you have a great summer, take care and I'll look forward to seeing you around again whenever you feel up to it.
     
  4. mouse

    mouse Well-Known Member

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    Nam, I am so glad you posted that I was very worried about you, Iam glad that you are doing better and that you are surrounding your self with happy supporting people. Now I know why I havent heard from you and it makes it so much easier to understand. No worries about all of us we do need your support But I bet in the back of your mind we have it. Glad to hesr that you are finally taking Crae of yourself, my friend its about time. are you moved yet or is that still coming, be careful with your labour and contractions, but you know that and you and you know your own body I cant wait to see this little one it is something that I am looking forward to. I will still send you emails wishing you the best but they will always be filled with nothing but joy, Love and happiness. Thanks for letting us all know about whats happening many I know were worried take care don't be a stranger.
     
  5. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Nam, good luck and I did not expect to see you much being in a family way. But... PTSD leaves us on edge, I hope all is well and all it is is you being keenly aware of Braxton Hicks.

    Screw this place for a while and use it at your disposal! You should since you are with child. You need to take care of you and that little one on the way. I have thought of you both often and assumed if not hearing anything you must be doing well. But know we are here to support you through this.

    Hugs to you and your baby. And be there for the lil' one, not us right now. I think all here would agree.
     
  6. reallydown

    reallydown I'm a VIP

    Yup Veiled, totally agree. Nam, I'm just glad you're alive and well :) Take care of you and the baby. All the best.
     
  7. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Nam, this just struck me and made me giggle so hard from a chat way back... You know being with child it is hard to move. Get hubs to help you clear the forest. You made me laugh my ass of that day you said that. I am laughing in the middle of the night recalling that hoping not to wake people. Hope it tickles a funny bone for you too as you know what I mean when the doc told you that.
     
  8. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Nam,

    Good to hear from you and glad you're doing well.

    Hugs
    Lisa
     
  9. Nam

    Nam I'm a VIP

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    Thanks y'all. I've got good friends here. I hope that you guys also take care and heal!

    Veiled, no forest here...LOL...um...more like a prairie.


    Nam
     
  10. Rob T.

    Rob T. Active Member

    Hi Nam,

    Glad to hear that you're feeling fine. It was nice of you to send us a message, "us" being us people on the forum.

    Have a Good Day,

    Rob
     
  11. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    Ohh good to hear from you Nam!

    I don't think your nuts at all, in fact quite the opposite! Good to hear your keeping positives in the forefront. I do hope it all goes well and let us know when you have the little bundle of love!

    bec
     
  12. cookie

    cookie I'm a VIP

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    glad to hear from you. praying for a healthy baby, easy labor.
    cathy
     
  13. nugget

    nugget Well-Known Member

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    Hey Nam long time no hear, look after yourself and do take care hope all goes well with bubs and try and keep one of those supportive people in your back pocket for future needs. All the best Rob & Jodee Darcy
     
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