goingonhope
MyPTSD Pro
Or else, doctors have other motivations besides that of professionalism and medical service, ....or else it's both. (Likely a combo. of both). I know Doctors can't help if I don't appear in their offices, but truthfully even while having done so, there remains few to none that can help me. I am without hope and hope let's me down too often, due to reality. Let me say reality and hope have a very conflicted relationship.
Please pardon the mess here as it's very difficult for me to create this thread. I was working outside alongside the house when I'd decided I'd done enough and came inside. I was surprised to find that I immediately had to lie down wherever that be. All the while I was forcing, forcing self-control and push, so no diningroom, nor kitchen floor for me; Instead I made it to the couch. But then couldn't breathe and LR floor looked most hopeful. I wasn't hyperventilating or like that, I just didn't have oxygen to breath and something was greatly interfering. I was there, very out of it for what may've been about 1hr. afterwards. Not flashing back or emotionally reliving anything, just unable to breath and had started losing 70% of my consciousness and was afraid that I was gonna not make it through that.
Much later I did make it to my feet, into the kitchen and somehow managed a necessary bowl of mini wheats, water, choc. milk., choc. chip muffin and my hands shook throughout, but it worked some, and enough to make me feel 90% present again.
I know that I should see a doctor, but there isn't time in this day for me to do so, as I must still accomplish a number of things.
Breathing techniques are wonderful when breath is available, somehow I managed to find enough over a period of time to come to and get up, but I had had my husband first supply me with telephone, water and ativan, just in case it might help me not panic from the condition I found myself stuck and in. He had to go to work and this happening came on a complete surprise to both of us and within seconds time from my decision that enough work was enough and I would come inside.
Please pardon the mess here as it's very difficult for me to create this thread. I was working outside alongside the house when I'd decided I'd done enough and came inside. I was surprised to find that I immediately had to lie down wherever that be. All the while I was forcing, forcing self-control and push, so no diningroom, nor kitchen floor for me; Instead I made it to the couch. But then couldn't breathe and LR floor looked most hopeful. I wasn't hyperventilating or like that, I just didn't have oxygen to breath and something was greatly interfering. I was there, very out of it for what may've been about 1hr. afterwards. Not flashing back or emotionally reliving anything, just unable to breath and had started losing 70% of my consciousness and was afraid that I was gonna not make it through that.
Much later I did make it to my feet, into the kitchen and somehow managed a necessary bowl of mini wheats, water, choc. milk., choc. chip muffin and my hands shook throughout, but it worked some, and enough to make me feel 90% present again.
I know that I should see a doctor, but there isn't time in this day for me to do so, as I must still accomplish a number of things.
Breathing techniques are wonderful when breath is available, somehow I managed to find enough over a period of time to come to and get up, but I had had my husband first supply me with telephone, water and ativan, just in case it might help me not panic from the condition I found myself stuck and in. He had to go to work and this happening came on a complete surprise to both of us and within seconds time from my decision that enough work was enough and I would come inside.