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I Must Be Too Complex For Proper Medical Attention..... Ever.

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goingonhope

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Or else, doctors have other motivations besides that of professionalism and medical service, ....or else it's both. (Likely a combo. of both). I know Doctors can't help if I don't appear in their offices, but truthfully even while having done so, there remains few to none that can help me. I am without hope and hope let's me down too often, due to reality. Let me say reality and hope have a very conflicted relationship.

Please pardon the mess here as it's very difficult for me to create this thread. I was working outside alongside the house when I'd decided I'd done enough and came inside. I was surprised to find that I immediately had to lie down wherever that be. All the while I was forcing, forcing self-control and push, so no diningroom, nor kitchen floor for me; Instead I made it to the couch. But then couldn't breathe and LR floor looked most hopeful. I wasn't hyperventilating or like that, I just didn't have oxygen to breath and something was greatly interfering. I was there, very out of it for what may've been about 1hr. afterwards. Not flashing back or emotionally reliving anything, just unable to breath and had started losing 70% of my consciousness and was afraid that I was gonna not make it through that.

Much later I did make it to my feet, into the kitchen and somehow managed a necessary bowl of mini wheats, water, choc. milk., choc. chip muffin and my hands shook throughout, but it worked some, and enough to make me feel 90% present again.

I know that I should see a doctor, but there isn't time in this day for me to do so, as I must still accomplish a number of things.

Breathing techniques are wonderful when breath is available, somehow I managed to find enough over a period of time to come to and get up, but I had had my husband first supply me with telephone, water and ativan, just in case it might help me not panic from the condition I found myself stuck and in. He had to go to work and this happening came on a complete surprise to both of us and within seconds time from my decision that enough work was enough and I would come inside.
 
As my husband fretted this condition occurring shortly before he had to leave for work, though very difficult to breath to speak, I reassurred him that with just a couple things I would get through this and please not to worry any.

I wasn't asking him for much, (phone in case of emerg., water, 1 ativan, and I quietly trusted that even if I was still gonna be like this when soon completely alone that I could either survive, or not survive this, but that I could do this all on my own. What other choices are there really.

So I continue to be good, not ask for much, move on into the next day giving my best and accepting whatever I do or don't receive in that day. And, one thing is for certain that in the end of this lifetime, I will be able to know that I nearly always did everything and more, that I could do and in the interest of others, as well as, other times in my own interest in surviving.
 
I'm figuring that this thread is more about just me surviving through this day and without me making life any harder then it already is.

Succeeded in getting my children from school early and bringing them home. Told them that Mommy needed a rest as I'm not feeling well. I took a nap and they fortunately are old enough to give each other some company while finding something to interest themselves. I am awake now and suffering shortness of breath. I have two very important errands to run now which will take the majority of our afternoon. I mustn't interfere or interrupt either.

My son has a very important medical appt. which making it there will permit him to not have his daily medication interrupted, resulting from his missing important appt.. Even though I cannot imagine driving 50 miles round-trip today, waiting 45 min. there in the waiting room for Doc, as well as, helping him get ready and to practice afterwards, I will and I will succeed in doing so.

If there is no obstacles tommorrow that I cannot overcome in getting to my new physician, then I will arrange for this, go tommorrow or soon this week, pay the copay there, but I so hope that my appt. is not all about $30. less dollars in my pocket and still no help. It doesn't help me for them to tell me that I must quit smoking when I cannot and obviously do not know how to do this. It doesn't help to give me prescriptions for medications that cost $hundreds, even $thousands of dollars when insurance does not cover such prescriptions.

Truthfully there was only one thing that ever powerfully helped me miraculously in many aspects, and this was not the medical, psychol. or psychiatric professions. It was a #1 sustaining, powerful relationship with God, and I have long since gone and fouled that relationship up.

I am scared.
 
I can understand how that situation scared you; it would have scared anyone and I think it's a good idea to see a physician and make sure it's no classical illness or even life threatening. I wouldn't be surprised though, if even a lung specialist doesn't find 'anything wrong' with you.

What I have been learning in a dedicated course here in the clinic is that most physicians don't know sh*t about psychosomatic symptoms and thus look at us PsySo patients like we're 'imagining things'. That's why we often end up feeling like you do; not well cared for, ignored, not taken seriously. It's a real shame.

It's just been too recently that emotions have been pinned down to a specific cell cluster in the brain, and that the pathways and patterns have been researched in which stressful emotions - if experienced constantly over a long period of time - can cause the body to develop real, debilitating, physical symptoms. The doctors who are practicing at the moment don't know that it's the nervous system wreaking real havoc while mimicking other conditions for which no other specific symptoms can be found.

Just to show you that you are not alone: In my life I've been already touring doctors for - in chronological order - bed wetting, insomnia, constant headaches, failure to thrive, again insomnia, some more headaches, then pain in the upper back, hellish stomach aches, pain in the lower back, crippling pain in the left hip joint, some more stomach aches and finally: vertigo.

I cannot describe the triumph I felt when my arrhythmia (that I had ignored for a long time, because, you know...) turned out to actually be due to a myocarditis scar! Finally! Finally something that's not due to stress, stress, stress and stess! And then something that can be cured surgically, too, cut out, removed, rectified, without any psycho work necessary, just some sedativum and a heart catheter that is operated by a doctor while I just lie there and let her do her magic.

With sudden, acute psychosomatic symptoms it can be quite helpful to take a close look at the hours or days preceding their onset. Was there anything new or unusual, stressors, internal images, thoughts... Even small things that you don't deem important, like a dream or a swiftly passing thought could be part of the cause. If you have a hunch what it might have been, work on that stressor; reduce or disarm it, to lessen the effect it has on your body.

It's also very helpful to realise that, with those sudden psychosomatic symptoms, as threatening as they may seem, they cannot kill you. It's like a panic attack; they feel horrible, like you're about to die, but you aren't actually. You feel like you're suffocating, but you're not actually. You're safe, no matter what your nervous system is telling you.

Another helpful thing can be to carry equipment to help you deal with an attack of symptoms, and to make a plan, what you will do when it comes and which skills you will try to help you go through the attack or even ease yourself out of it.

I don't know if you have a T currently, but you might want to talk to them about your symptoms when you have made sure that they are actually psychosomatic. There's been quite a bit of research about specific symptom-emotion relationships that they can look into to better help you.
 
Please pardon the mess here as it's very difficult for me to create this thread. I was working outside alongside the house when I'd decided I'd done enough and came inside. I was surprised to find that I immediately had to lie down wherever that be. All the while I was forcing, forcing self-control and push, so no diningroom, nor kitchen floor for me; Instead I made it to the couch. But then couldn't breathe and LR floor looked most hopeful. I wasn't hyperventilating or like that, I just didn't have oxygen to breath and something was greatly interfering. I was there, very out of it for what may've been about 1hr. afterwards. Not flashing back or emotionally reliving anything, just unable to breath and had started losing 70% of my consciousness and was afraid that I was gonna not make it through that.

I know that I should see a doctor, but there isn't time in this day for me to do so, as I must still accomplish a number of things.

Hope,

You need to make time to go to the doctor. Nothing is more important than your health and the symptoms you described are serious. If this happens again, please seek medical attention.

You are worth it!
Deb
 
With only moments before I am to run out the door, I cannot make much of a response and/or comment yet.

freakofnurture, can you believe that when finding your comment that at a quick glance, (and every other word blurred), I saw one word jump in my face ...(psychosomatic), and I was scared and mixed up emotionally to read any further. But, of course I did. Thank you for your good, well-rounded comments here. I hope to get back to rereading it again tonight, as it brings up lots, and lots of emotional distress of mine. But, don't worry, because as you can figure, my emotional distress was already present, just contained for the time, that I might fullfill each day and it's responsibilites as they arrive, while hoping to experience some life amidst much to do.

Anyhow will have to get back to this.
 
DO NOT WAIT. Call your doctor, now! These symptoms can be a heart attack and MUST be treated as potentially life-threatening. If it was, the next few hours and days must be monitored.

PLEASE take steps to check this out NOW.

((((goingonhope))))
 
GOH - hope you have a remittance of some of these physical feelings and internal pressures.

I could relate to your sudden attack. I've had similar attacks of weakness (no shortness of breath) after seemingly doing fine working outside very actively. Days where I suddenly can't do another thing - sudden onset of extreme fatigue. And the crushing pressure of obligations to others and a schedule to maintain. The dread of incapacitation and not knowing if I will be able to finish anything - do I take a xanax? more water? simply lack of sleep? onset of a real physical illness? I'm glad you made it off the floor and are here to write about it.

I don't do a good job of asking for help or acknowledging to others when I need help or that I'm even feeling bad.

You don't have to do it on your own. Thinking of you.
 
I agree with Deb and Bloom - please get yourself checked out.

Your errands may well be very important, especially your son's medical appointment and such like, but your health is equally important. You need to be well to look after your family and run these errands.

I'm not denying that psychosomatic symptoms exist, but it's really important to rule out anything physical/ physiological, before you go down that that route.

As Deb says - you are worth it. Please take care.
 
I can understand how that situation scared you; it would have scared anyone and I think it's a good idea to see a physician and make sure it's no classical illness or even life threatening.

I'm convinced, this is what I'm going to do tommorrow, if someone there will see me. I need to remember to do so though so just wrote myself a big note as: A Must.

I wouldn't be surprised though, if even a lung specialist doesn't find 'anything wrong' with you.

Well I certainly hope a lung specialist doesn't find anything wrong with me! ....as many members of my family have died and suffered from cancer. My mom is the one still living even after all that chemo, radiation, and a lung removal, as well as, removing another part of her body where they found cancer 2yrs. after she survived her first run.

She is really amazing and strong. Too strong, I might think. What I mean by this is her will and her too great of self-reliance. I am like this myself in these aspects and being so can work against someone, as it has done with both she and I in our lives at times; I'm not really comfortable identifying with her though as she loved me so, then abandoned and destroyed me, yet unfortunately I do identify with her in the aspect of relying too greatly upon generally oneself and to the point of not knowing how or being able to help oneself.

I cannot describe the triumph I felt when my arrhythmia (that I had ignored for a long time, because, you know...) turned out to actually be due to a myocarditis scar!

freakofnurture is arrhythmia the same thing as an irregular heart beat?

I have an irregular heartbeat, but I forget what they call this, I only remember that for some reason it mattered to my dentist. Hate to ask and sound dumb, but what is arrhythmia?

I understand your point though I had a neurologist throughout my 20's seldom doing anything to help a number of symptoms that I was experiencing and always sending me out the door inferring that I was imagining my symptoms or something, and/or that they were my fault because I was honest and said I drank. And, he'd ask did you ever smoke marijuana and I say yes, ....and ask .etc. .....and my response might be a yes or a no, but the point was he always made me feel like dirt, or I was crazy or something. Once he even asked me about my relationship with my mother and when I told him that it wasn't a good one and held back the fear and tears, he responded O'OOO'. And, before I knew it I was leaving his office told that it was all vertigo .......and then just having to wait, wait, wait.

So when my MRI returned with both old scarring (head trauma) and sheathing of the mylen of the brain (who knew), I certainly was scared, but I felt somewhat relieved. Yrs. later, I now have enough understanding to believe that at least much of the neuro. symptoms I experienced in my early 20's immediately following abusive head trauma, even uncontrollable excessive sleep resulted from most severe injury.

Anyhow, I think I know what you mean.
 
Please, DO NOT WAIT.

This may be nothing, but it has enough red flags for it to be properly triaged as 'EMERGENT'.

If it was a cardiac event, and you wait, you risk stroke, sudden cardiac death....or possibly enough death of your heart muscle that you live with an oxygen tank and never have the stamina to do anything with your family.

No urgent care person would blow your symptoms off.

I was a paramedic for years, and an emergency room tech at a remote level 2 trauma center.

Please take immediate action. If it's nothing, you'll rest better tonight.
 
My knowledge here is rusty, but I believe Arrythmia is a description regarding a lack of rhythm in the heart's electrical conduction.

A heart murmur is a problem with the valves, not the conduction...*I think*

A dentist gets concerned, properly so, with an irregular rhythm because of the potential for mitral valve prolapse, or 'leaking' or 'pooling' of a bit of blood from a leaky heart valve. This blood is then a prime breeding ground for bacteria dislodged during procedures to take up squatter staus and breed....and cause infection in the heart. Preventative anti-biotics are given in these cases.
 
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