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I Need To Get Out

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Purl04

New Here
Just found out today that we'll be moving into a hostel on Tuesday. Me mum and sister in one room. Mum keeps saying it's ok because at least we'll be together. I can't stand her. I have a lot of hate for her that I try to keep under control as I know she's mentally ill but I'm not sure I'm going to be able to cope with this. Also looked the hostel up online and there was a news article about a man who lived there for 6 months with two children and there were fights, fireworks inside the hostel, drug abuse etc in the hostel when he lived there.

Anxiety is just too much right now. Everyone turns away from my family no one wants to help which is why were going to be living in a hostel and the reason no one wants to help is because my mum and both of her siblings have severe childhood abandonment issues as their dad walked out on them and I've never hated anyone more than I hate him. He's the reason I have ptsd, he's the reason I'm going to end up in a hostel and he's the reason my mum is so irresponsible.
 
Aye! I can understand your hate and your reason for it. I felt like that with my mother, but over time, a long time, I've learned to forgive her

We never did get on really, and I took all the beatings right up until I was fourteen, that's when I stood up to her and defended myself.

Of course, I was homeless for a while, but during that time, I learned a lot, about myself, and her. It was years before things got back to some kind of normality.

It was never mentioned ever again, but that time left me scarred, and when I grew up, and had my own two kids, I made sure that they would never have to go through anything like that.
 
Thanks for your reply and for opening up to me. You've helped me to feel a bit calmer in the midst of all my anxiety I seem to be forgetting this isn't permanent and I will get through this.
 
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