D
Deleted member 30956
Yesterday evening was the first time I saw my abuser (father who molested me) in close to a year, perhaps. It was through Skype. I needed help with paying for a certificate course (I'm recently unemployed and live below the poverty line), and had called him earlier in the middle of a massive panic attack which had to do with my financial worries. He agreed to cover the cost, though I wonder whether I should have declined the offer. He said he feels obliged to help me with education which could improve my situation, but doesn't think he should be obliged to help with rent or anything like that. He doesn't know I have PTSD and take medicine and have trouble functioning. He encouraged me to look for temporary work anywhere I could, like the local Starbucks. I said that I'd feel ashamed to be working for Starbucks at 35. His response was "I think you should feel ashamed that you're 35 and jobless and in such situation. When I see your caller ID, my heart freezes with terror, because I know that you are calling with problems."
It cut to the bone. I wanted to smash the f*cking screen.
He makes at least 90k a year.
He's a criminal who got away with a crime and he has the guts to f*cking insult me?
I wish I had other means of obtaining funding for my course, as being connected to him in any way, monetary or not, is like being encapsulated in a ball of swamp...
Today I can barely function and my deep instinct is to console myself in video games (this is how I survived the abuse). Tomorrow will be better. I won't have to see his face.
It cut to the bone. I wanted to smash the f*cking screen.
He makes at least 90k a year.
He's a criminal who got away with a crime and he has the guts to f*cking insult me?
I wish I had other means of obtaining funding for my course, as being connected to him in any way, monetary or not, is like being encapsulated in a ball of swamp...
Today I can barely function and my deep instinct is to console myself in video games (this is how I survived the abuse). Tomorrow will be better. I won't have to see his face.