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I Realize That I

I realize how much anxiety I am feeling in my throat area has to be because for all these years, I had to stuff down my feelings/emotions about the lady who lives next door to me and her behavior towards me.

I started coughing and couldn't quit. Maybe it is an indication that in another week, more cleansing will be happening.
 
I realize that I am lonely and am dreaming of ways to meet new people and mabe even make some new friends to do fun things with.
 
I realise that I have lots of threads I want to catch up on, but there are only so many hours in the day, and it's midnight.

I realise that I like painting my nails because it's calming and is "me time".

I realise that I achieved a lot of little things last week, and I can do the same this week, without putting pressure on myself.
 
I realize that I am becoming giddy/hyper over the fact that the rest of my neighbor's kids are supposed to arrive in a week, next Tuesday, the 5th.

I also realize that is the day I might have to go to the Courthouse because of my jury summons.

It is also the day that I have an appointment to see my counselor. I believe I will probably need to cancel it.
 
I realize that I am very much enjoying the respite I have right now and can pretty much do what I want or not want. I am still grieving the loss of my husband and count myself very lucky that I am able to simple things each day.
 
I realize I need human contact more deeply than I thought.

Just having someone to talk to is something everyone takes for granted that I don't always have. I used to think I was alright on my own, but now I realize I need love, affection and support from others as much as i need food or water. I guess I'm not made of stone after all.
 
Hugs to you @purgemeofthepain . :hug:

I realize that I absorb a lot of stress from work. I realize it would be more stress not working, but that I dread every day. I realize it's hard on my body too. I just got a bunch of new clients assigned, they are supposed to end at 11:30 pm but will go to near midnight, all more heavy calls & mechanical equipment. But when it comes to work we have zero say in the matter. I realize I feel so hopeless, tired, overwhelmed & mostly despairing whenever I think of work. I realize it's so tiring I can barely get the energy to change or to wash my face when I get home. I realize mentioning any of this feels like 'whining'.
 
Wow the day gets weirder. A co-worker of my sister's bf threw himself 6 stories off the roof of a local Hospital & ended up without a scratch, not even a broken bone. Now 'their' question is an investigation of who left the door to the roof unlocked. I realize that I guess if one has not 'succeeded' re: suicide they must be meant to stay here.
 
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