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I Realize That I

horse-running-on-the-beach-364.jpg I realize that...just like the trauma changed my life in ways I could not foresee, so has this community unfolded healing that I did not foresee.

Which means to me...just because I may not hold hope in the moment, that does not exclude a cavalry arriving carrying the banner. I just have to ride with it !
 
I realize that I'm just too scared of men thanks to my former boyfriend. And that there's no room inside myself to begin a relationship. There's my work, my fantasy world and my most important friends, but I don't have any feelings but fear when it comes to a relationship.

After my contact ad I realized that I think different. That I was too naive and most men only want the one thing...it's depressing, because now I even fear them more than before.
 
I realize that as it gets closer to my appointment with Legal Services on Thursday, I will be experiencing so many different emotions.

It is so necessary to have a new Will for myself but at the same time it means that I will no longer be holding on to that hope of having my siblings in my life.
 
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