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I Realize That I

I realize that despite all the excuses and valid reasons for not being able to lose weight, I am not going to be healthy just sitting here and letting those reasons dictate. So what if exercise wipes me out. So does sitting here some times, from sheer boredom. I realize it is only in my power to do something about it.
 
I realize that I contributed to my physical inactivity. Yes, some of it is my chronic illness, some of it is the depression, but the rest of it, the majority of it, is me. I need to find the will power that the depression has been hiding from me. I've done it before. I need to get to it and not worry about the results not being as I want it to be. I realize each of our bodies respond differently to physical activity, but that, overall, it does make us better one way or another.
 
That I could keep blaming others for my predicament or I could grab hold of the reins and take responsibility for myself this moment. Quit giving them the control to my life. I want it back. If I focus on "them" it takes the focus from me. They don't deserve my attention. It does nothing for them. But it holds me back.
 
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