When this sort of thing happens do you just wait for him . ...or do you move on as if he's done and...
Only you can decide if you want to wait. I'm being shut out again right now. It's been zero contact for 3 weeks. I wasn't going to wait the last time because he actually broke it off, but then unexpectedly texted me.
I then decided to wait because of our situation. We are long distance. We dated on and off for 2 years in our 20s and now we're in our 50s. I think he feels a certain amount of trust toward me because of our history. It works for me right now because our situation is complicated, living so far apart. We both have jobs that prevent a move, although I would've if he wanted me too. I'm a state employee and have a lot to lose if I did that, so I guess I see it as karma or something, it wasn't meant to be. I'm an introvert, so dating new people at my age isn't something I'm terribly comfortable with.
I guess it also has to do with the way I grew up. My Dad goes MIA as well. Even when my parents were still married, he would get angry about something and not talk to us for months. He didn't speak to his sister and mother for years. When somebody shuts me out, I can often shut down my feelings for them. It's a little harder with my sufferer because I want to be with him and I want to be there for him.
When he's MIA I try not to think about him romantically. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him, but when my thoughts get more intimate, romantic or sad I just put on music that distracts me. I try to make a lot of social plans. It was hard last year because I lost a lot of friends, but it's gotten a little better since I moved and met new people.
I guess what I'm saying is that I have my reasons and my ways of dealing with it. Maybe I should move on but I'm not ready to at this time. Only you can decide what is right for you. It's ok to move on. You have to take care of yourself. Sufferers are taking care of themselves in the best way they know how by shutting us out.