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I Think I Have Cptsd And I'm Terrified

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A bit of backstory, my brother, two years younger than me, was diagnosed with autism when he was five and I was seven. I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder about a year and a half ago, and I am now 15. We've moved five times before I was nine years old because of my dad's work. Not small moves either, across the country and even to another country and back. I rarely ever talk about it because I'm horribly anxious of people thinking I'm just trying to pass the blame onto innocent people, but I really believe that my social anxiety disorder started to develop when I was around seven or eight. That was when my brother was diagnosed and my mom was left to stress virtually alone as my dad was always working. I was always with them in public, and how anxious and stressed she acted around my brother wore off on me and I started to act the same way towards him. The next year was when we made the huge move to another country and stayed there for only a year. I had always thought that those series of extremely stressful events all happening at the same time were the causes of my anxiety disorder, but that changed about an hour ago. I still feel the same way about my anxiety, but after seeing CPTSD mentioned in an Instagram post and looking it up, reading the symptoms gave me a panic attack. It seemed to describe my situation perfectly and I was terrified. I know I shouldn't be self-diagnosing, so I want to see a therapist again to get a professional diagnosis. The problem with that is, on Christmas Eve I told my mom I wanted a therapist after a panic attack at the family party, then again on February 1st I told her I NEEDED a therapist during a panic attack about my grades, and its now April 17th and we have hardly talked about it. Mom has a lot of stuff going on right now and Dad's out of the question so I feel bad asking her to find me a therapist again but I also know I really need it, CPTSD or not my anxiety's only been getting worse recently. So, loads of context and backstory aside, does anyone have any advice for approaching my mom about therapy?
 
A bit of backstory, my brother, two years younger than me, was diagnosed with autism when he...
Hi there and welcome to this forum.
I am sorry for all that you have been through. You are right we don't want to be diagnosing are selves. The professionals have a hard time to do it properly we are all different. So you do need to get into therapy. You also need a diagnoses so that you get appropriate therapy it is very complicated. I am not sure I have any advice on how to tell your mom that you need this. What did she say the other times that you asked her. I think you need to tell her when you are not in a state of panic or suffering from your anxiety to much so that you can have a conversation about it. Maybe that would help. There Will be others that read your post and may have some good advise for you. You made a good first step coming here to ask for help. This is good safe place to come and share and ask questions. Glad you made it here. Again welcome I hope you find the answers that you need.
Peace be safe
 
Welcome! Some high schools have nurses or counselors who could connect you with a therapist. Maybe check with your school. Maybe your mom would be more likely to listen to an adult from your school? Also, what Esterio said about trying to talk to her when you are not in a state of panic. I'm guessing that maybe your mom doesn't realize how bad your symptoms are. Maybe if you make a list of symptoms and what they feel like and how bad they get that will help.
 
First of all, I don't know if this helps or not, but you mention some pretty stressful events but you don't mention trauma. Trauma is required for PTSD. It does however, sound like you have been severely impacted by the events in your life, and this really does call for a therapist. There are many diagnosis that have similar symptoms to CPTSD that don't require trauma but come with similar anxiety and emotional struggles and many times easier to get relief from and with faster results.

It sounds like circumstances have resulted in your parents being unable to provide the emotional support that you need. That alone is going to cause emotional insecurity, add into the mix a younger sibling with a medical condition which is considered a huge stressor and repeatedly trying to adapt to new environments including the culture shock that comes from moving to another country, it is no wonder you are dealing with anxiety.

It also sounds like a trip to your Dr. is in order to see if medication to help with your anxiety would be beneficial. Are you attending public school? By law, the school has to provide a mental health professional if you request it and ever school district has at least one. They can also speak to your mom on your behalf about getting you into full time therapy if you think that would be more helpful. Sometimes parents need to here it from another adult before it really clicks with them that it would be a good thing.

When approaching your mother, you might try something like this, "Mom, I know you have your hands full and I want help out more, but I need to get my anxiety under control If I was seeing a therapist, it would be one less thing for you to worry about because I would be better equipped to deal with things like stress over school and other things I am dealing with."

Have you looked up deep breathing exercises in the meantime? Please be gentle with your self. Anxiety is a hard and exhausting thing to deal with. A little self compassion can go a long ways.
 
A bit of backstory, my brother, two years younger than me, was diagnosed with autism when he...
Your parents' duty is to take care of your needs as much as they care for your brother. You need to find a therapist yourself, who will tell you how stressful you past has been. I would consider it emotional abuse. Again, you need professional help to work through what people have done to you. Let me know how you do.
 
I'm so sorry about your anxiety. I know that terrible feeling all too well. When I was in high school I asked my mom several times about seeing a therapist, she always agreed but nothing ever came from it. She too was taking care of my younger brother and her now ex husband.

It's hard to ask for help and when you finally do and it goes dismissed, it can be extremely frustrating.

But try not to take it personally. It's hard because that is your mother and she is taking care of a sibling, so it seems the same should go for you, that's something I struggled with a lot.
It wasn't until I was on my own when I finally got help. I wish I got it sooner because things would be very different for me.
I strongly encourage you to talk to a counselor or teacher at school, they are there to help you.
Maybe look up therapists online near you that accept your insurance, find one that you think would be a good match and when you bring up seeing a therapist again with your mom, you can show her the one you found and all their contact info, so it would be less stress/ work on your mom.
Good luck with everything
<3
 
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