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I Want To Stand Up To My Attackers

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sonicwhite

Policy Enforcement
Ok, so most of you know what traumatized me. Going to jail four times and having a psychosis while there all times. The second time I got raped by two guards and I had a catheter put in me then pulled out with the balloon open. Mind you I'm totally psychotic with a green tint of skin because my organs where failing. That was after I took five xtc pills after I got out of jail the first time.


So to my rapists I want them to be put on a cross. To be shown to the whole world what they did to me but, Christ also says that vengeance is His and to pray for your enemies. So I'm not mad, I just want justice. Oklahoma county jail is probably the worst jail in America. It's worse than prison.


So I write this today on here because I know in the lifetime I will not be able to bring a curropt system to justice but I know I will be vindicated at there judgement for what they did if they do not repent.


It is just eating me up. My therapist and I talked about it and somehow the rape only lasted like a minute because I screamed I have HIV. Which I don't but they planned it out when they asked me how many pills did I take or what did I take I can't really remember what they said on that part. But the curropt system who say he admitted to using xtc and so we had to do a cavity search but I am telling you they raped me. I don't know. I'm glad my life of drug use is over so I am protected by God so this doesn't happen again.
 
Wulp, come to think of it I was just venting. I know we all have our unique trauma that sucks. I just want to tell my story of a curropt system. Cops they ain't real peacemakers unlike my uncle in law who quit his job to go somewhere else because he refused to be curropt,
 
Ok, that's what I thought you were doing , but wanted to make sure if I missed something... just keep venting, it does help to get it out. Sorry those things happened to you... but you are free now, to get healthy behind all of it. Wishing you a healing journey.
 
Hi @sonicwhite, did you try to start a diary here on the forum, in the member section? Maybe that would help. Not only you, but also the readers of your threads to have a better, coherent overview and the full picture of you and your personal story? I suggest this, because (at least to me) it is very difficult to follow various threads of someone when written at almost the same time. I then literally loose the thread / connection / relation of all that was written. I'll put in the link to the members diary section for you. It's of course just a suggestion, though. So please feel free to just take it or leave it. All my best wishes to you!
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I have but I get scatterbrained sometimes and sometimes I get in the moment and it is just the things that happened to me was so injust like they knew I was psychotic so the took advantage of me. The ppl who are supposed to correct you the right way not rape. Ugh it makes me angry.
 
just the things that happened to me was so injust
Yes, we would like to believe that 'the system' was set up to help those who were off track. It is horrifying to realize (especially first hand) that the system can be a place that the morally corrupt can use to fill their screwed up needs. I am so sorry Sonic that you were treated this way. :hug:
 
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