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If I Don't Do Something I Will Have A Comlete Breakdown. Any Ideas?

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raven1960

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I've been feeling more and more anxious the last few months. I realized that I'm becoming Agoraphobic.

If I have to go into a store I get extremely tense, hot, sweaty and feel panic coming on. I also realize that I am extremely burned out from trying to cope with years of my husband's hatred of his job (he's retiired and happy now) and my own life stress which I've had no one to help me with. Now I'm at the point where I don't even know how to talk about my own problems and I only want to be alone. I don't want any one around me at all. I have to resist the urge to tell people to shut up and go away. I'm very depressed (not suicidal though) and anxious.

Yesterday I had to leave a meeting early. I had a migraine, but also the strange feeling like nothing was real or I wasn't real or something. All of these people were talking and all I heard was a murmur and could feel the need to escape rising. I got to my car and cried all the way home (80 miles) then got home and cried some more. I went to bed exhausted and had sleep paralysis and night terrors with repeated episodes of feeling someone sexually entering me.

I have no real life memories of sexual assault though, but these dreams do come around some times. I know I don't take care of myself. I don't get plenty of exercise, don't eat the best foods, don't get enough run and relaxation, etc. I take Cymbalta and Wellbutrin. I take a minute dose of Adderall (10-20mg on a busy work day, but usually on 10mg). About 1 coffee is all, rarely any alcohol and only water to drink. I take an Ambien to sleep. I know I NEED to learn to make time for myself to relax, meditate, take hikes...what ever I enjoy. Does anyone have any tips on how to re-wire your life to make that a priority? Also, any supplements to help with the chronic overload of stress and burnout?

I'm just fried! Thank you.

(oh, more background....I'm 53 and in the beginning of menopause and also have chronic pain from a bout of menigitis scoliosis and a fractured sacrum).
 
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Hi Raven. I am nearly 60 and maybe a few years down what sounds like a similar road. (I love being post-menopausal!) I retired to become a full-time housekeeper in 1995. My husband is a few years away from retirement. In the years since my youngest son graduated HS in 2002 I have jumped at every travel opportunity I could justify, but here at the home base I can't get myself to leave the house much. In my heart, I want to trade my suburban paradise for a backpack and the freedom to live on the road. I don't know that it is agoraphobia, but it sure feels like it. I keep feeling like my hometown is one big trap and going out is only going to spring a bigger, stronger trap.

I have been trying to keep the focus on re-wiring my attitude more than re-wiring my life. My life isn't what I wish it was, but I can't bring myself to disassemble it. My choice after weighing my options. I can continue isolating while I wait for my life to change or I can stay busy working with what I have. Some days I manage to get busy. Other days I just hold my breath while I wait for my life to change. New blues to sing are all I manage to get out of the latter.
 
I won't say anything about eating right. You know what you have to do there.

Re supplements - A good multi-vitamin with minerals. Fish oil and Omega 3 supplements are good in many ways but also theoretically reduce cortisol.

You are probably acidic from stress and inflamed. Here is my miracle drink for anti-inflammation: (and it does so much more on so many levels)

3 tbs. apple cider vinegar
8 oz. water
Juice of one lemon
2 tsp maple syrup
Anti-inflammatory spices - a pinch each:

Ginger
Cinnamon
Turmeric
Black pepper
Cayenne pepper (go easy on that)
Thyme (good for depression)
Oregano
Basil
Nutmeg

Mix and drink daily. You will feel better.

Menopause was a breeze. It was peri-menopause that was the killer for me.

I hope you feel better soon!
 
Thank you Arfie and Franciemarie. Life you, Arfie, I get the urge to run away from home with my dogs and a backpack but know that changing my attitude and how I take care of myself is the real remedy. I deny my urge to isolate completely because I know thats not healthy. I will try the drink too Franciemarie. It sounds pretty strong, but maybe I'll be pleasantly suprised. I will also start taking fish oil again. I used to do that. Thanks again.
 
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