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If You Don't Like This Do Not Comment !

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Deleted member 20280

I remember as a child being raped in the anus repeatedly, sometimes at knife point. I remember being forced to preform Oral sex on my babysitter.

I remember the embarrassment attending school the next day
worrying if my breath or underwear smelled of semen. ( Bit too hard hitting for some now )

I remember when the taste of his penis made me sick the morning after!

I remember waking up disgusted at MYSELF for what I had done the afternoon before, just to make "him" come !!

*******(((((( I )))))))) ******* Remember promising ****((((HIM))))**** I would NEVER tell ANYONE. WHAT HE HAD MADE ME DO.



(( I )) Promised that I would (( NEVER )) Tell Anyone that (( HE )) Had done to ( Me )

HE was a teenager aged 15 years, I was a child aged 7 years. He FORCED his Penis inside my Anus and FUK YES IT FUKING HURT!

I WAS f*ckING SCARED !!


DO NOT "EVER" tell me that that would not scare me !!


HE ............... RAPED ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This Man, old enough to know right from wrong, forced his erect penis inside my anus and my mouth so hard I cryed myself to sleep EVERY night for nearly(8) years.

PLEASE TELL ME THIS MAN WAS JUSTIFIED IN HIS ACTIONS ......................................


:(
 
PLEASE TELL ME THIS MAN WAS JUSTIFIED IN HIS ACTIONS ......................................
He was NOT justified. He was a perpetrator. He perpetrated horrible crimes against you.

You are quite brave to stand up to him and beak the LIE that you should not speak about what he did. I hope you keep sharing about it for however long you need to share about it. You have nothing, absolutely nothing, to be ashamed of.

You are an amazing man, with a heart of gold. He didn't take that away.

:hug: @Mr Laurie
 
You are an amazing man, with a heart of gold. He didn't take that away.

BUT he hurt me and I feel Broken!

I feel damaged and that I can NOT! have a ***Normal*** relationship anymore !!
 
I FEEL LIKE SHIT AT THE MOMENT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
WHO WANTS A TV THAT DOES NOT WORK PROPERLY !!!!!!!
 
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Laurie....

Your abuser wanted you to believe you are damaged and broken, and that he was justified in what he did.

Stop agreeing with him. He was wrong.

I know you. I know you don't agree with perps. Stop agreeing with him about his opinion of you. Those are distorted thoughts. Those are his messages to you.

You have been greatly hurt, and I can understand why you feel so much pain and maybe anger right now. I wish I could make the pain go away, and it is ok to be angry and sad and feel whatever you feel about what he did. But judging yourself like he judged you? Stop, please. He was wrong.

Can you ground right now?
 
Very sorry you are feeling so low right now. What happened to you, as awful as it is, isn't who you are... it is just something horrible that happened. I have similar stories and can feel your pain inside and out. It is hard to feel worthy of love and happiness when you can't wash the filth from your soul. Sending only the best of mojo and hopes that you can breathe and find some solid ground to put a foot down on. I hope each breath gets easier, dear. Gentle, gentle hugs if you are ok with that... You are worthy of love and happiness.
 
*Sits besides the lovely Laurie and holds your hand* That guy was a f*cking arsehole for what he did, he was totally on the wrong! You were just a young small, scared boy and were not to blame for what happened.
You are not broken, you are an adult now and he cant hurt you anymore. I understand the hurt and pain you feel from what you went through and its ok to be angry at the guy, but please try to be gentle on yourself .... it was not your fault!!!
((hugs))
 
Ms Spock likes to say that "feelings are not facts". It is a fact that you feel damaged. It is a fact that he hurt you too. It is also a fact that you are a good person who is capable of taking the horrible experiences of his past, learning and growing through dealing with the aftermath, and using his knowledge for good. I can't for the life of me, see why you can't, someday, have a normal and happy relationship. Lots of them, in fact.
I ***AM *** DAMAGED !!
Perhaps, but you are also a good a valuable person. :hug:
 
What an awful, horrible, atrocious...thing to have happen to you!!! You didn't deserve it!!! You were only 7yrs old. I am sorry that you feel it is affecting your relationships now!!!! You don't deserve that either!!! I hope as you move forward things get better for you quickly!!! Hugs
 
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