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Relationship I'm Afraid Of Him...

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PittieMama

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After 5 days of just texting a couple times per day, I don't know how to try and invite him back into my life (he feels more comfortable at his place than mine btw). Do I make the first move? Do I wait for him to invite me around? Will that look to him like I'm distancing myself? I'm scared to make him angry again and start a brand new thing to get upset about.
 
It would probably be best to ask him if he wants to talk, and then you will hopefully be able to open a dialogue and explain why you feel the way you do, and why he does. Take my advice: don't use text messaging to communicate. Typed words and impersonal, non-committal and convey no emotion. Text messages, IM's, and email can be and are very destructive to a relationship that is on the rocks. Call or meet them in person. I have lost far more friends (and relationships) using email, texts, and Facebook, than I have ever gained. It makes a world of difference.
 
I've noticed that when he gets upset he'll avoid seeing me in person and feel more comfortable texting (it drives me nuts). But yeah when we talk, like REALLY talk, I'll try to do it face to face. Thanks for all your advice btw. It's been helpful :)
 
I've noticed that when he gets upset he'll avoid seeing me in person and feel more comfortable textin...
He needs to meet you 50/50 in dialogue. If he won't do that, you may need to rethink your relationship. And trust me, don't use texts while in a relationship crisis. 90% of the time, they lead to nothing but ruin. Best of luck.
 
My vet is a texter when he is stressed also. Sometimes that's just what you have to do.

I would just roll with it. Let him make the first move. Keep it light over text, because like @Whispering_Truth said, it is easy to misunderstand the tone and intention of text messages. Also, it seems like a lot of sufferers are sensitive about "words." Something you think is totally innocent can be extremely insulting or upsetting to them.
 
I noticed the word thing too. Like I asked him what I did to "p*ss him off" and said he wasn't "p*ssed off" he was upset and angry. Not sure what the difference is, but it was definitely the wrong choice of words. After coming on here I can see I guess how that could make someone under emotional duress could take it like an attack. I didn't know at the time.
 
Yeah, that's how it gets with him when he gets really stressed out and his "cup overflows" I guess. His kids' mother had mental health issues (not trying to be mean, she really does) and she would be picking fights with him all the time, (e.g. accusing him of cheating when he was just at school etc) and he's used to being attacked.
I'm guessing that's why he's like that, or is defensiveness a common symptom for people with ptsd?
 
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Sounds very familiar. I guess it's just good to know that is not personal HOW mad he gets. I mean, I've never had a problem understand what he was upset about other than the fact that I couldn't see why he'd get SO upset. What would upset me (and I guess it's something he has to little control over) was the nasty and intense way he'd fight.
Thank you guys for all your help; this is the least alone I've felt in weeks :)
 
So I saw him last night and I thought things were going well. Now he's ghosting on me again and I don't know what to think. He's under stress from school and health problems, but he's not letting me in. He's treating me like I'm a stressor too. Which I get but I don't know how I'm supposed to know what to do or if I will stop being seen as "too stressful to deal with" eventually. I guess I don't know how he feels about me. And he can't tell me right now.
 
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