Hello all. I haven't used a chat forum in 20 years! I hope I can remember the etiquette :)
Anyways - Im feeling pretty bad,,,,I adore my hero husband, he is everything to me, and would never speak out of turn. But, sadly, for 2 years now I've been dealing with lies and secrets and evasive behaviour from him - he's gradually withdrawn, and now he is emotionally void ,, but only with me,,,, he is superman at work (still serving,,) and a big smiling support for all others,,, which I admit makes me jealous, and it hurts very much to know I struggle alone for weeks with no contact, but he's there for everyone else. But I guess that's personal crap.
Anyways, he dismisses me, plays down my feelings, stonewalls, gives the silent treatment, doesn't sleep, keeps secrets, is irritable, forgetful, sometimes seems confused, and lots more besides that may come out further down the thread,,, I can't think of everything and will answer honestly to any questions ----- though if I ask my husband one I'm shut down on,,, and its sad.
Anyways, here was me thinking he was an a@$ hole,,,, but it's been brought to my attention he may be suffering from ptsd,,,he's done 23years to date, infantry, 10 tours.
It's just all I know is I'm suffering, it's been cruel sometimes - if it is ptsd he's not admitting it,, I get the blame for things he imagines will happen that haven't even happened yet.
If it stands a chance it is,,, how can I cope with how it's making me feel, so I can be strong enough to help him,,, and how do I get him to realise it's just not healthy to shut down, isolate and ignore your wife and that maybe he's holding too much in?
I've rambled, I might not be making much sense,,, but I am really quite confused, and feeling deeply concerned.
Anyways - Im feeling pretty bad,,,,I adore my hero husband, he is everything to me, and would never speak out of turn. But, sadly, for 2 years now I've been dealing with lies and secrets and evasive behaviour from him - he's gradually withdrawn, and now he is emotionally void ,, but only with me,,,, he is superman at work (still serving,,) and a big smiling support for all others,,, which I admit makes me jealous, and it hurts very much to know I struggle alone for weeks with no contact, but he's there for everyone else. But I guess that's personal crap.
Anyways, he dismisses me, plays down my feelings, stonewalls, gives the silent treatment, doesn't sleep, keeps secrets, is irritable, forgetful, sometimes seems confused, and lots more besides that may come out further down the thread,,, I can't think of everything and will answer honestly to any questions ----- though if I ask my husband one I'm shut down on,,, and its sad.
Anyways, here was me thinking he was an a@$ hole,,,, but it's been brought to my attention he may be suffering from ptsd,,,he's done 23years to date, infantry, 10 tours.
It's just all I know is I'm suffering, it's been cruel sometimes - if it is ptsd he's not admitting it,, I get the blame for things he imagines will happen that haven't even happened yet.
If it stands a chance it is,,, how can I cope with how it's making me feel, so I can be strong enough to help him,,, and how do I get him to realise it's just not healthy to shut down, isolate and ignore your wife and that maybe he's holding too much in?
I've rambled, I might not be making much sense,,, but I am really quite confused, and feeling deeply concerned.