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Supporter I'm so glad to have found this site. daughter & long distance girlfriend of ptsd sufferers.

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Mirai0103

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I'm 19 years old, and I've been dating a Japanese man (21) for about a year and a half. When we first started dating, he would occasionally tell me about his past, which seemed awfully similar to my mom who has PTSD.

Both my mom and my boyfriends parents divorced, they went through abuse and being separated from their siblings and being treated as an outcast by their family, and both of them consequently have extreme social anxiety and difficulty keeping a long term job. Me and my mom are so close, and she has said that I help support her, so when I started realizing my boyfriend has PTSD as well, my first thought was "it must be meant to be, since I can support him better than someone else could", but I guess it's different being in a relationship with someone tmwith PTSD, rather than a parent.

I didn't understand why my mom was so against us dating. She said she didn't want me to have to support somebody who should be supporting me. As time has gone on, I haven't thought much about him having PTSD. There are times that everything seems perfect, and he seems like the most caring person in the world, but there are a lot of times I can't figure out why things are going so terribly. Not to mention we are currently in a long distance relationship as well.

He seems like a shut-in a lot of times, and he'll become anxious if I don't want to call him, but he won't talk. He'll constantly be playing video games or listening to music or something, and if I ask him to stop and talk to me, at first he seems to be trying to talk with me, but eventually seems to suddenly become hysteric. He's freaked out over me not letting him join a group in a game before a certain time because he'll end up not having anyone to talk to at night (because of the time difference, I'll be at work and his gaming friends will already be in a group). He's called me up in the morning crying for reasons I don't quite understand. We got in an argueme to the other day because he was getting moody for what seemed like no reason, and it turned out to be because I got a kitten and he said it made him miss his dog that died when he was in middle school.

I'm overwhelmed because I don't really know what to avoid saying or doing. It seems like so many different triggers for him, but I really want to find a way to be there for him and support him. I'm realizing I really need to take everything more seriously before I can't handle it the way I have been anymore.
 
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Have you met/spent serious time with your boyfriend IRL?

At this point, no...
He was supposed to visit me in February, but I couldn't handle it and broke up with him In December before he purchase plane tickets or anything. He said he wanted to talk again even as friends so we started talking again about a month later, and we've been able to communicate a bit better, but I think I made it more difficult for him to come here...
 
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It can be extremely difficult to be in a relationship with an untreated PTSD sufferer.

Do you picture this relationship being long term with one of you moving to be with the other?
 
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