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In Between Sessions

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Watts

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Hi I have just a few questions:

How do you cope/stay grounded in between therapy sessions. Sometimes 50 minutes of therapy just doesn't seem like enough time... do you go more than once a week?
 
Yep, it can be hard! Not sure I could do more than 50 minutes though! I read a lot, listen to music, and do homework with my son. It passes the time when I am not working!

Good luck!
 
I've always felt that 50 minutes is such a short time, and seven days is such a long time. I only have 50 minutes a week. I've often wished it was more, and at times when I've been struggling the most I think that extra support would have helped. Having said that, having only one session a week means that I've had to work very hard on my own grounding and stability, and in the long term that has been the best thing for me I think.

I agree with amethist that your therapist should cover grounding skills with you. You have to do them outside the session though, every day. In my case, for my first year of therapy, it was almost every hour that I wasn't working or sleeping. They do have a benefit, even if it's not obvious or immediate, so you need to do them consistently.

I've done a lot more on my own in addition to what I've covered with my therapist - looking up techniques, trying things out, finding the things that work and putting them into practice. If I had relied only on what I covered with my therapist, and done no more on my own, then I think I would have spent a very, very long time in therapy just on grounding and coping. That's fine if it suits someone, but it wouldn't have worked for me because my therapy has time and money constraints.

Sometimes it's helpful for me to vent, process, journal, do art, read and respond to posts here. At other times it's best to try to comfort myself or take my mind off things completely, especially in order to get things done that need doing.

I've learnt some Dialectical Behaviour Therapy skills on my own from a workbook. Things like distraction and self-soothing are very helpful. So are simple relaxation exercises like deep breathing - this might not sound like much, but if you spend some time on them consistently every day they can make a big difference, especially if you do a full 20 minutes, timed with a clock.

I find I have to plan and prepare grounding and coping things in advance. I need to make lists of things I can do, and look at the lists if I'm feeling upset because that's the time when I won't remember anything. I've needed to carry some little things around with me, like peppermint oil to smell and a copy of a poem to memorise as a way of distracting my thoughts. I've kept a sort of "emergency kit" next to my bed - a drawer that has the lists and things that are soothing to me - so that if I need something it's all there and I don't have to find or remember it.

It's a lot of work, and for a long time I felt like I was doing it just to keep my head above water, but it does get better. I'm much more stable between sessions now, and I have good coping techniques that help me in every area of my life. It has helped me take better care of myself generally. Sometimes, I'm not sure of the difference between grounding and coping skills for trauma work, and basic life skills that are part of anyone's good mental health. I just know I didn't have them, so I have to work to learn them and they help me.
 
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