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In Need Of Help Dealing With Husband's Ptsd.

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by adeline, Feb 28, 2011.

  1. adeline

    adeline New Member

    My husband has recently been diagnosed with PTSD. Needless to say our life has been difficult well before the diagnosis came. In fact for me it was a relief, but for him that's another story. I need help dealing with this. It is difficult for me and our children. The roller coaster is exhausting not only emotionally but physically. What can I do??
  2. anthony

    anthony MyPTSD Admin Staff Member Premium Member

    Go buy the PTSD relationship book... absolute essential for any spouse and family with newly diagnosed PTSD. $10 or something like that... golden. It is an all-in-one partner and family solution to dealing with someone with PTSD.
  3. adeline

    adeline New Member

    Thank you I appreciate it. I will look into that book immediately. Are there many people on here dealing with PTSD indirectly because of their relationship?? or others with combat PTSD??
  4. anthony

    anthony MyPTSD Admin Staff Member Premium Member

    Hundreds of spouses here... they will respond soon enough, and thousands of sufferers.

    If you look at the link below this post, in my signature, you will also see a combat forum which also has combat spouses specifically, with veterans... for discussions. Most carers are here though.
  5. adeline

    adeline New Member

    Thank you so much. I appreciate it.
  6. Jawn

    Jawn New Member Premium Member

    You will also want to read the articles about PTSD in the home page and also the ones for carers/supporters too. They will give you lots of useful tips about PTSD and how to deal with a partner with PTSD.

    Jawn
  7. adeline

    adeline New Member

    Thank you Jawn. Any and all materials will help for sure.
  8. Nicolette

    Nicolette ♡ Princess ♡ Staff Member Premium Member

    Welcome Adeline from one Supporter (wife of a PTSD Sufferer) to another. While PTSD is a rollercoaster ride it can and does become better... it takes time with both of you wanting to head in the same direction; back to having a good family environment.

    While waiting for your book, I would suggest you read the sticky threads (ones pinned to the top) of each section of the Supporters section. You will find there that no only are you not alone but you will begin to feel that someone understands what you are going through.

    Good on you for taking the initiative to join the forum.
  9. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Who's trippin' now? Staff Member Premium Member

    Hey Adeline - welcome to the forum.

    Whilst the diagnosis is a bit scary, at least you now all know what you are dealing with. PTSD can and does get better (though not cured), with a lot of hard work and the right support and help. I'm a PTSD sufferer, but there are a lot of members here who support another with PTSD. Joining the forum is a smart move to help you understand what you are dealing with. Remember to take good care of yourself. Only if you are fit and well can you support your husband and children through this. Be sure to schedule some 'me' time and ensure that you have some support too.

    All the best
    CB
  10. amethist

    amethist The Mystic Duck Staff Member Premium Member

    Hi Adaline

    Welcome to the forum, from another supporter.

    It is tough going, but as others have already said you can, with a lot of hard work and determination form both of you, get past the tough beginnings of PTSD. It does take time and there are no quick fixes, so taking good care of yourself is essential.

    Come and join us in the carers section, where you will find loads of tips to try and slow this roller coaster down.

    Make sure you find time for you and your kids away from all that goes on, as well as doing your own thing away from it all too. Even if it is just for a few hours at a time, it will help you to keep going.

    Take care.

    Amethist
  11. Brontie

    Brontie New Member

    Hi Adaline, and welcome.

    You have already taken the first very important step to understanding PTSD and that was joining this forum.
    There is so much information here, as well as book recommendations, that help the carer as well as the sufferer.

    Perhaps your husband would also find it helpful to gather some information about his condition.

    It might also help to explain things to the kids so they don't think they did something to make dad angry.
  12. MurphyJB

    MurphyJB New Member

    Hi Adaline.
    Welcome to the forum. This place is amazing.
    I'd suggest starting a diary in the supporters section. It's a great way get things of your chest, vent, or just sort things out. It's helped me a lot.
    Best wishes. :)
  13. adeline

    adeline New Member

    Hi Nicolette

    I will look for the pinned thread. thats basically what I need, help from those who know what its like. I have great friends and family that want to help and be supportive during this time in our life. But its not the same as those who actually know what it is like from personal experience. :) thank you
  14. adeline

    adeline New Member

    Hi MurphyJB

    I never thought about starting a diary but it is a great idea, definitely will help with venting since I really find it hard to vent all the time to friends and family. I don't want to seem a burden to them and have them thinking that this is all I think about. But honestly its what we deal with on a daily basis and its hard to see the silver lining when most days is a struggle to get through.

    The good thing is I look forward to bed every night because the next day I know is another day where I can start over and try something new.
  15. adeline

    adeline New Member

    Hi Brontie

    You know I don't know if he is interested in learning about his condition as much as I am. I have always been one to believe that information gives you strength with everything that you go through. I think it is important to be as informed as possible and being open and receptive to learning. I don't think you ever stop learning throughout your life and maybe once he sees what I am doing then maybe he can take the time to want to learn with me.
  16. adeline

    adeline New Member

    Hi Amethist

    I have started taking the boys one day a week away from him in order to detox them from the chaos we call life. I don't want this to completely affect them in a negative manner that will hurt them in the future.

    Our 8year old looks at 'daddy's bad days' as his brain playing tricks on me. He reassures me that daddy loves us and wants to be with us its just that the war has affected him. And that he needs us here to support him. It makes me smile to hear him talk like that but then hurts me because all I want is for him to be a kid for as long as possible without having to completely deal with the drama of adulthood you know what i mean.

    I will have to start taking better care of myself. I feel better when I take time away but i feel selfish for doing it. I will have to work that out i suppose.
  17. Froggie

    Froggie When it seems impossible, the possible happens

    Welcome to the forum adeline, no carer/supporter is ever ready to deal with a spouse with that kind of diagnosis... one way or another, nobody is prepared for this. You have done a great move to come on here and I see that you are already surrounded by some very well experienced supporters. You're a very ingenious parent and are taking great mesures to help your children to deal with this. In this whole thing, never forget to take care of you.

    PS : I'm a sufferer
  18. adeline

    adeline New Member

    Froggie, I am sorry to hear that you are a sufferer. I wish I could better understand what it is you all go through. I am hoping between the carers and sufferers I can learn more. Thank you for taking the time to say HI.

    Adeline
  19. HopefulChristian

    HopefulChristian New Member

    Hi Adeline,
    Welcome. I'm new here myself. I too am learning what "taking time to take care of myself" really is. I don't think I've had much of that in years. I've been also trying to equip myself with knowledge. One book that I've been reading is The PTSD Breakthrough. I've read a few books and this one has been the best for what we are experiencing.
  20. adeline

    adeline New Member

    Thankyou Hopeful Christian....I will look for that book this weekend when I am at the bookstore.

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