Livy's Mom
Confident
Hello everyone,
I have recently separated from my sufferer... Well he separated himself from us, you all know how it goes!
Quick background is we have a 3 year old daughter and he is an alcoholic.
He has been out of our home for two full weeks and I'm focused on my daughter and I. Very proud of myself by the way, I have put much less energy and effort into "fixing" the current situation than ever before and kudos to me for that.
So now that I have taken a hands off approach and am focusing on just me and her, his Mother has initiated the process for an intervention.
My education on interventions is strictly from the A&E series so, I'm no expert.
Their plan is to hold this intervention in the coming week. They have asked me to participate and I have said no at this time.
I said no, not because I don't want to help him but when he is "doing what he does" moving out, saying I don't love you blah blah blah, after he leaves us and is talking with family and friends he blames me for all his troubles. He tells people that he drinks so much because he just couldn't stand the misery of being with me! He says that he doesn't need help for his PTSD, he manages it just fine on his own. Just yesterday he told a good friend not to listen to me because I have a tendency to make up stories... Sweet lord. Lol.
So here are my thoughts/questions to everyone.
1) I feel as though attending the intervention could possibly derail it. Since he has used me as his excuse for drinking to others. He also uses our relationship as a great deflector of concern about his PTSD, example being "I don't need treatment for my PTSD, I just don't love her and I don't want to be with her." This works well for him because that happens right! People end relationships all the time without PTSD so why can't he! I believe that if I am there, the talk will be about me and the relationship he doesn't want vs what it should really be about and that is him going to dual diagnosis treatment for both of his illnesses.
I would like your feedback on whether that is the right choice. I did say I would like t send a representative for my daughter (likely my mother).
2) have any of you heard of an intervention taking place where it is PTSD/Substance abuse? I did some google searches and really came up with nothing. I'm worried about how it is going to go and whether it's even the best thing to do to someone with PTSD. I am not driving this train but I of course ant to help in any way possible.
3) there are very few people who I believe will even participate. He is a master at being the good guy and wearing a facade of normalcy. I suspect none of his close friends or family will be of any help since they are tremendous enablers.
All thoughts and feedback are welcome.
I have recently separated from my sufferer... Well he separated himself from us, you all know how it goes!
Quick background is we have a 3 year old daughter and he is an alcoholic.
He has been out of our home for two full weeks and I'm focused on my daughter and I. Very proud of myself by the way, I have put much less energy and effort into "fixing" the current situation than ever before and kudos to me for that.
So now that I have taken a hands off approach and am focusing on just me and her, his Mother has initiated the process for an intervention.
My education on interventions is strictly from the A&E series so, I'm no expert.
Their plan is to hold this intervention in the coming week. They have asked me to participate and I have said no at this time.
I said no, not because I don't want to help him but when he is "doing what he does" moving out, saying I don't love you blah blah blah, after he leaves us and is talking with family and friends he blames me for all his troubles. He tells people that he drinks so much because he just couldn't stand the misery of being with me! He says that he doesn't need help for his PTSD, he manages it just fine on his own. Just yesterday he told a good friend not to listen to me because I have a tendency to make up stories... Sweet lord. Lol.
So here are my thoughts/questions to everyone.
1) I feel as though attending the intervention could possibly derail it. Since he has used me as his excuse for drinking to others. He also uses our relationship as a great deflector of concern about his PTSD, example being "I don't need treatment for my PTSD, I just don't love her and I don't want to be with her." This works well for him because that happens right! People end relationships all the time without PTSD so why can't he! I believe that if I am there, the talk will be about me and the relationship he doesn't want vs what it should really be about and that is him going to dual diagnosis treatment for both of his illnesses.
I would like your feedback on whether that is the right choice. I did say I would like t send a representative for my daughter (likely my mother).
2) have any of you heard of an intervention taking place where it is PTSD/Substance abuse? I did some google searches and really came up with nothing. I'm worried about how it is going to go and whether it's even the best thing to do to someone with PTSD. I am not driving this train but I of course ant to help in any way possible.
3) there are very few people who I believe will even participate. He is a master at being the good guy and wearing a facade of normalcy. I suspect none of his close friends or family will be of any help since they are tremendous enablers.
All thoughts and feedback are welcome.