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Sufferer Introducing Myself - Seeking Non - Judgmental Support

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sage18

New Here
Hi,

I'm pretty new to forums and they've always scared me because it feels like giving people the opportunity to judge you for what you might say which is one of my biggest fears. I've decided to write this anyway, though because I really need some support at the moment and I'm too scared to come forward in my own life.

I'm Becky, I'm a teenager and I am currently in therapy for anxiety and depression. I am seeing a psychologist next week and my therapist thinks that it is likely I will be put on anti depressants. The thing is, that whilst I'm trying hard to deal with anxiety and depression, I've barely dealt with PTSD and the traumatic events that are the cause for a lot of my problems. I struggle to be 100% honest, even with my therapist. I've dealt with sexual abuse in my life, both times from close friends who were girls. I've also made a lot of mistakes in my life out of lack of understanding for what I was doing, which I think was because of my abuse and these mistakes just make me feel gross and ashamed. I have only told my therapist about the most recent case, because I'm terrified of what she'll think of me if she knows it has happened more than once.

I keep on finding myself so wrapped up in my trauma that it is impossible to shake the feeling and I'm just looking for some support and some people who can relate to the way that I feel.

Thanks so much for reading.
 
Hi, I'm Meg, & I'm a teenager who was also abused by females. 2 when I was a child, & one when I was in middle school. Would you mind sharing your story with me? I don't mean to seem nosy, it's just I rarely meet people who've been abused by women as well. It's okay if you're not ready to talk about it yet though :)
 
Welcome to the forum! Sharing what you feel sharing, as little or as much more, is permissible. The beauty of this forum not too many are overly judgement and we're all here because we're all on the same path, some are at different places, we're on this same path together looking for the same outcome, healing our emotional wounds.

There is much information to be found here and slow exploration is the best way to find such information. Again, welcome!
 
It's been a few months years decades since I was 21, but I remember that age too well, because that's when I recovered the memory of my sexual abuse at age 6.

No need to feel in a rush about sharing. You'll know when the time is right.

You mentioned mistakes you've made, and feeling gross and ashamed. We've all been there, where the abusers have programmed us to believe such myths. You'll learn that these "mistakes" were the results of deception and manipulation. You'll learn that the shame is how abusers keep us quiet and afraid. Recognize this as a phase. You'll learn to change the narrative. I hope we can help you get there.

You've made a huge first step to come here! I recommend patting yourself on the back. And welcome!
 
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