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Is a relationship too perfect

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Tezedo

was reading through forums and came across a post about how a “perfect” relationship could be someone grooming you or a narcissist. How do you know if that’s the case? Have been dating someone for around a year, seems almost perfect, I can see some of their faults, and I know they aren’t “perfect” but I am afraid of my judgement; I tend to cling too tightly to people sometimes or overlook faults in those I care for, I am just afraid I don’t want to be abused again.
 
What would you say are their 'faults'?
Can be a bit into themself sometimes, sometimes when I need support (I mean breaking down and crying or panic attacks) they start to support but eventually lead it back to them and having me do things they like. Not always, but sometimes. Don’t always take notice or care if I am not into or up to doing things they like.
 
Some things I look at are their relationships with their ex's. How do they talk about them. Was it mutual. What is their...
This person can be extremely good to their family but have also seen them treat them rather poorly. This person speak kindly of their exes and although it didn’t always end well doesn’t hold a grudge, seems very nice just me getting hyper- vigilante I guess
 
Have they specifically said or done anything that you think is abusive to you? Like, they don't care if you aren't into or up to doing things they like? Are there any more examples similar to that?

Can you look at lists like this one and see if there are anything in them that apply to your relationship? Those would be good indicators it's an abusive relationship instead of a perfect one.

And certainly, abusive partners can seem to be perfect, to you and your friends and family, often when they are well - liked and very charming, they can be abusive, not always, but certainly sometimes.
 
Please do not ignore their faults. Take a really good hard look at the things you do not like because later on once you have totally fallen for them and they know this, with a narcissist they do the switch and turn emotionally and verbally abusive. A normal person's words and actions match up usually.
 
What pops out to me is when you mentioned they don't notice or care that you're not into doing something they like.

As a supporter of someone with PTSD that's definitely something they should take into consideration.

Does this person know you have PTSD? And are they knowledgeable about it?
 
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