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Is it important for you to be neat and clean?

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Rani G2

MyPTSD Pro
I had a slight cleaning, and being neat obsession, which meant I cleaned my apartment for a about 2-3hours everyday. Now I am only allowed to do 30-40 mins and I am supposed to control that by always working with the alarm clock. The thing is, now I loose interest in cleaning and keeping things in order, which meant I didnt clean my fridge for a very long time, because I was tired and felt I need to take care of myself rather than having a perfect apartment. Even in my darkest days, I function because the more depressed I become the harder I have to control the outer

I was conditioned as a child to always look clean, be clean, be neat and have things under control. It might sound silly, but a part of me thinks there is a moral expectiation I should fulfill by being neat and organized.

Do you worry about having a neat, clean apartment?
 
I used to be quite obsessive about cleanliness based on how I was raised. I knew I'd get a beating if I hadn't done what was asked of me.

I was also homeless for a while, so I felt if I didn't keep everything in tip top shape, it could be taken away again.

It applied to both my environment and my body. Little did I know, what passes of as good hygiene and cleanliness by most is more harmful to my health than a little mess ever would be.

I'd get the nervous energy thing going on as soon as I knew it was time for someone to come home/visit and see what I had or hadn't accomplished, and would often stay sick from nerves alone.

Then I became a f/t step-mom to two and realized that level of expectation was going to take me down real quick if I tried to keep it up.

I even wrote a housecleaning manual as it related to each room of the house for the kids, after I'd already worked each room with them to demonstrate and observe, so they wouldn't have to wonder how they should be cleaning up behind themselves.

I shudder at the thought of being handed something like that as a kid and wish I'd handled it all way differently back then.

But anyway, I finally got over the incessant need for everything to be spotless by driving myself crazy(ier) trying to have the kids get as serious about it as I was, and by lovingly being reminded by some sweet souls in my life about what is truly important in the grand scheme of things.

Those who truly love me (including self) won't care if there's some dishes in the sink, if my bed isn't made, if everything is dusted and put in place, etc. It's not like I have folks beating down my door to want to come visit, anyway.

Those who would focus on all of that stuff obviously have just as many issues as I do, so maybe we could work on them together while we navigate our perceived messes and clean some shit up?

Now if anyone says anything (which they have not, yet), I'd be quick to direct them to my cleaning closet if they'd like to tidy up my spaces to better suit their own obsessive neurology.
 
@PURUSHA OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! As a kid, I got the shit beat out of me if my room wasn’t clean. We had to play outside, and very rarely were we allowed to play inside, and then it was mostly on the porch. Baths were taken every night, we were allowed to get dirty outside, but had to get bathed every night. The house was to be kept neat and clean. When my grandmother died, one of my older sisters and I were left to clean the house. I was 10 at the time. At 15 the house was left to me to clean, it was a 10 room house.

When I got married, I became obsessed about cleaning. I cleaned for hours and hours everyday. I washed walls everyday and windows. People hated coming to my house because it was so clean that they felt uncomfortable.

Over the yrs, I’ve relaxed. I clean my apartment once a week now... BUT!!!! Everything has a place in my apartment and it’s kept in its home. I take something out, it gets put back when I’m done. Clutter drives me crazy, and I can’t cope with it. So, in that regard I’m still pretty tough with myself.... So, some things are still ingrained with me, and I probably won’t ever change.

I still shower everyday and my clothes are clean and neat, my hair is combed and neat and makeup is on.

And now, I clean houses for a living!!!! Go figure!!!
 
I don't but on the flip side I hire someone to come in and do the cleaning. I have often wondered if my mothers entire purpose in having children was so that she never had to clean. I remember as far back as being 6 years old and my mother leaving us with my older siblings to go out for what ever reason and saying "I left you a list... I want this house spic and span clean when I get home" she never did anything and even though our bedrooms had to be spotless hers was a disaster that was always behind a locked door if anyone was in the house.

Now days I straighten up, do my laundry and dishes and hire the rest done I figure with four bathrooms in the house I grew up in I have cleaned enough toilets, tubs, showers and sinks for a life time.
 
Apparently my home is cleaner than I think. A few days ago, someone I trust described it a a lovely home, beautifully kept. However I can tell you where there are elements waiting to be cleaned. I know that it is 11 days since any hoovering happened.

It's one more area where I have no real yardstick for what is acceptable. I'm the opposite to you @PURUSHA in that I grew up in grubby home and wasn't allowed or expected to wash much. Over the years, I've found that most people are cleaner than I was taught to be, but I'm not sure what is reasonable or right in the privacy of my own home.

I suppose the question is "who am I doing this for?" I think I have a basic social obligation not be smelly, or to let my food hygiene drop to a level that is hazardous, but beyond my domestic standards would ideally be at a level that made me and my family content. For me that mainly means knowing that there is a time allocated for the housework that matters, and I will get round to it. If it doesn't happen in this cycle, then it will happen in the next.
 
Hi @PURUSHA... I'm the opposite my flat is kinda clean... More so bathroom, kitchen... But Im an artist and my studio is in my living room and that ain't tidy... But it's only a wall and paint. It doesn't really bother me... Mess. I guess the ironic thing is I was a cleaner for awhile... All my mates just took the piss
 
Worry? No.

But I can't see or think straight if it's not clean.

Back when I had my house I probably spent 2-3 hours a day cleaning? But I also had kids/dogs, so there was something of an evolving chaos. :D Superfun times. Love a house full of boys & dogs thundering around. Similarly, I used to entertain a lot (well, having 10-20 people over at night a few times a week? In addition to playdates & parents in the daytime? That's a lot, for me.) ...and that comes with it's own predictable messes. So I had daily, weekly, monthly, & quarterly chores built into my routine. (As did the kids... Huzzah teamwork!). I have no problems making messes, most of what's fun in life is messy, I just need/want it cleaned up afterwards. Ahh! Clean/clear lines of sight, again! Lovely :happy:
 
I try. I grew up messy. My child psychologist told my mom it was the least of her worries about me and that she should close the door. She did. I was messy when I lived with messy people, better when I lived with neater people. When I got my last place and it was just me and my kitties, I became obsessively clean. Wiping down everything daily, scrubbing the shower weekly vacuuming every other day. It was anxiety releasing for me after living in a controlling environment. Now I’m living alone again and keeping things better, making my bed and trying to weed through 4 years of clutter so I can get this place ready to move out of. I love a clean house, but once the clutter sets in I’m doomed.
@Tornadic Thoughts i don’t know if you still have that manual or know of something like it but I could really use something like that !
 
I do still have it, although I do things a lot differently now that I no longer use the store bought cleaning stuff. Let me go back to it later today and take out any identifying information regarding names and such and add my new methods of cleaning with homemade stuff at the end of it and I'll gladly pass it along, @Cannottakethis .
 
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