Wastinglight
MyPTSD Pro
I'm someone who believes that neither partner in a relationship should be in the dark on what the other person's intentions and vision of the future of the relationship are.
Lately, I have often felt frustrated because I don't know what's going on his head, with respect to the short term future of our relationship. Since, we became serious, he has always maintained that he considers this to be a long-term relationship and says he's committed to me. We talked about marriage recently - I told him exactly how I feel about that, and what I would like to happen. I was expecting to then hear his thoughts on the matter, but nope, as always, he is vague and non-committal whenever we talk about anything specific.
As for me moving in permanently, I'm still wondering whether he will ever ask me to. He still hasn't contacted DVA to enquire whether our relationship will impact on his benefits. I've mentioned it a few more times, but I don't want to nag him about it. It's his responsibility, after all. He seems to think that simply having me staying at his house every night is a massive commitment in itself.
The last time we discussed these matters, I made it clear that I wasn't trying to push him, I just wanted a better idea of where I stood with him. He made a stupid joke about me standing in the kitchen - he oftens makes dumb jokes instead of just answering the question. Every now and then, he even makes totally inappropriate jokes that seem a bit callous, and make me wonder just how important our relationship is to him
It's confusing, because the times that he actually does give me a straight answer, he says that he wants the same thing that I do (in general), but it's like he's allergic to talking about specifics.
Am I asking too much of him to request an 'update' on where we're at with our relationship?
I don't want him to feel pressured, but it's not like I keep bringing it up - the only times we've discussed it is when it comes up naturally in conversation. And we should be able to talk about this stuff, right? I don't want to have to shut the conversation down every time, just in case he feels uncomfortable. Hell, he feels uncomfortable talking about anything serious....
Yes, fear of commitment is definitely an issue for him, but I often find myself at a loss about how to handle these situations in an appropriate way.
Lately, I have often felt frustrated because I don't know what's going on his head, with respect to the short term future of our relationship. Since, we became serious, he has always maintained that he considers this to be a long-term relationship and says he's committed to me. We talked about marriage recently - I told him exactly how I feel about that, and what I would like to happen. I was expecting to then hear his thoughts on the matter, but nope, as always, he is vague and non-committal whenever we talk about anything specific.
As for me moving in permanently, I'm still wondering whether he will ever ask me to. He still hasn't contacted DVA to enquire whether our relationship will impact on his benefits. I've mentioned it a few more times, but I don't want to nag him about it. It's his responsibility, after all. He seems to think that simply having me staying at his house every night is a massive commitment in itself.
The last time we discussed these matters, I made it clear that I wasn't trying to push him, I just wanted a better idea of where I stood with him. He made a stupid joke about me standing in the kitchen - he oftens makes dumb jokes instead of just answering the question. Every now and then, he even makes totally inappropriate jokes that seem a bit callous, and make me wonder just how important our relationship is to him
It's confusing, because the times that he actually does give me a straight answer, he says that he wants the same thing that I do (in general), but it's like he's allergic to talking about specifics.
Am I asking too much of him to request an 'update' on where we're at with our relationship?
I don't want him to feel pressured, but it's not like I keep bringing it up - the only times we've discussed it is when it comes up naturally in conversation. And we should be able to talk about this stuff, right? I don't want to have to shut the conversation down every time, just in case he feels uncomfortable. Hell, he feels uncomfortable talking about anything serious....
Yes, fear of commitment is definitely an issue for him, but I often find myself at a loss about how to handle these situations in an appropriate way.
Last edited: