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Is this me, my thinking? my avpd or ptsd

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WhiteHatGirl

Learning
I was trying to make more sense, I was hoping It was just me. And I was wrong... I have stayed temporarily many times with a family member... And the moment I am suppose to be welcome.... Both adults start asking me questions about when I am leaving like in passive aggressive ways. All it does is trigger rejection feelings. And. Creates fight or flight and misery living with them even for as short as a week. I wad hoping things wouldbe different this time. But it is like my relative sticks a knife in and turns it. I realized a while back that thos person at leadt has features of N. But I always doubt my sanity with these people.

Simple ways the person querys me about, "Did you get a hold of that person who was offering you housing?"
 
I had to sort this out. I suffered all of my adult life. I thought I misunderstood them due to Avpd. But I h AZ d to see if I could put the behavior into a real category. I looked up passive agression. And while that was part of it. I then hit on the phrase "covert bullying" If I had the same experience with many people. Or groups, I would believe it is my Avpd over reaction. This is one family set which does the very same thing over and over. And my brother totally went through it too.
 
The game began before I arrived.
So they were hesitant about having you stay there with them from the beginning? Or?

Sorry, you keep referencing things (the game -what game?- ; the same thing over and over -what thing?- ; my brother went through it too -what's it?- etc.) that there's really no way for us to know the history/meaning behind.
 
Please stop trying to analyzw and fix.
. No one here can FIX anything, only you can fix the situation or problem. We are not shrinks, we’re people with PTSD, and we all try to offer advice or a shoulder to lean on.

Personally it was quite rude of you to address @Friday when she was trying to figure out exactly what in the hell you were talking about, as your post was disjointed and confusing.
 
Look I'm trying to figure out if my PTSD is making me paranoid and over react, but my family is passive agressive, then gets agressive and it CANNOT all be my PTSD or my AVPD, they can be mean when they want to. They get meaner and meaner until I leave.
 
my family is passive agressive, then gets agressive and it CANNOT all be my PTSD or my AVPD, they can be mean when they want to.
Families can definitely be dysfunctional. It's a real true-ism that being related to someone doesn't have anything to do with whether you'll want to have a relationship with them - or even, like or respect or tolerate them. It sounds like your family has some really difficult dynamics.
Both adults start asking me questions about when I am leaving like in passive aggressive ways. All it does is trigger rejection feelings. And. Creates fight or flight and misery living with them even for as short as a week.
So, the thing to do is to first look at what they are saying, vs. what you are hearing. You're aware that you are hearing them as being passive aggressive, and you're aware how you respond to that. Can you give examples of what they actually said, and describe the context a little more? It might help other members have some more useful insight/advice/follow-up questions.

Look I'm trying to figure out if my PTSD is making me paranoid and over react
As far as I remember, you've not been diagnosed with PTSD. That doesn't mean that it might not be in play - and it doesn't rule out that you might be experiencing some symptoms that are effectively explained by the AVPD diagnosis. Or, that there's something else going on. Mental health diagnoses are not always accurate, but self-diagnosing doesn't help, either. Best to just try and look at what is happening, and try and get someone else's take on whether you might be having a symptom-based reaction, or more of a straight-up, "yeah, that's a toxic family" kind of reaction.
 
And the moment I am suppose to be welcome.... Both adults start asking me questions about when I am leaving like in passive aggressive ways.
I do that all the time, when someone arrives to stay at my home one of the first things I'll do is ask them when they're planning to leave. Not because I don't want them there but because I need to be able to plan our time together taking account of their travel plans - its a "make sure we're all on the same page" thing. I also get very anxious having houseguests so need to know when I'll get my house back and whether I need to plan in some down time/coping space.

From what you've written there's no way to know if your family were in fact being passive aggressive or whether it's all in your head/symptomatic of mental health issues. It's entirely possible you're hearing their words through the lens of N who they remind you of.

My sense is you don't actually want to explore things though, don't want someone to challenge your thinking or help you understand what else might be fuelling the fire - that's your choice but sniping at people who are trying to help you "make more sense" is unhelpful and unreasonable.
 
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