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General Is This Ptsd Or Is He Being Rude?

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Yes, you are a good guesser. Is seeing other people as idiotic sheeple typical for members of the military? You make it sound like it. My husband has sort of a superiority complex sometimes when he thinks that civvies are just useless and lazy and working with them is a wate of time because they are just chaotic and running everywhere and cannot be organized. He complains a lot about the people in his workplace who are idiotic and hard to work with and don't take his orders. Also they do idiotic things like blocking the fire exit.
Everyday he comes home from work like "believe me I am surrounded by idiots".

He believes he is the only responsible person on this world. This is a heavy burden to carry.

I fortgot to mention he is already doing therapy.
No, he is not on active duty anymore.

I wish I could help but I also wish he would stop calling me and our loved ones things.
 
No. You decide how much you are willing to tolerate, then set your boundary. You have the choice as...

Easier said tuen done. He likes to start nitpicking out of the blue. He walks into the room, finds three little things that are not as he wants them to be and starts to complain. I can leave the room, I can talk back... but my mood is already ruined.
 
I don't want to pry, but I will tell you "sheeple" became the norm after returning home from war (at least it did for me). I can deduce a lot by what you have written, and please don't take anything I say as intrusive; I'm just an old jar head who can relate.
 
You're mood and what you are willing to accept is your business. The plus side is that you share, "He told me that he realized that he should change his attitude about things"... so you have a choice. Accept that he is telling you the truth when he says that and develop coping skills and tools to manage your own feelings as he works in therapy on his issues and hopefully gets to a point where this behavior is arrested and he doesn't feel "he can't control it anymore"... and manage your own feelings in light of his direct communication about his difficulty..... and study up or seek your own counseling so that you can lessen the blow to your own detriment because this is something that is not in "his control" right now...

OR

Joint therapy for some sessions with emphasis on the fact that his present coping style is damaging his relationships and your brothers with some serious self examination and communication about how this affects you and to preclude damage to you or your brothers... that something needs to change and improve. A warning of sorts that continuation of the behavior may result in unwanted consequences for him. Sometimes it takes a pivotal moment and courage to make somebody realize the affect that reactive behavior and coping styles have on other people... and believe me, I've been whacked upside the head (been made aware of the consequences of my behavior) a few times.
 
Boundaries aren't to control other people... Like you can't say "you need to stop being rude." Boundaries are you're own personal limits that you set for yourself. You'd instead say "I will not stand here and be talked to like this. I will remove myself everytime it happens."

See the difference?

For a supporter laying down firm boundaries is so important, we can turn into doormats fast without them.
 
I think I might need some advice about boundaries.
So I could live with him telling me that he is unhappy with something but he does not only say that he is unhappy with it, but that it is the WORST he EVER came across. WORST EVER!!! Worst thing he ever had the misfortune to ever come across. This is no constructive criticism.

I could leave the room whenever he starts doing this... But the point is my mood has been already ruined. Maybe when I do this every time he acts like this he will stop doing it.

Florian, you hinted you had the same problems. Could you tell me how you learned to cope and how your loved ones learned to cope?
 
I think my husband has a strong urge to protect and help other people and I wonder if the job he currently works in is right for him because he cannot help other people there and I guess that makes him feel useless and he jumps to saving people who are not in need of being saved.
 
I think I might need some advice about boundaries.

Boundaries are a significant thing to learn and need to be tailored to both the individual and the circumstance.

Walking away is typically a good solution, but you say your mood has already been affected. Maybe walking away AND doing something to improve your mood. Maybe there are indications that your partner will say things you don't like and you walk away before they are said. ?
 
Like I said, you have some issue to work on as well as you've said twice now, "my mood has been already ruined". Yet also at least twice you have said, "I am happy to be with him, because he is caring and selfless and so protective of our family." and I need to/ How can I learn to deal with this?"

When I was a life guard at a Y I got a first hand life lesson and epiphany when a swim parent with a child who'd had an upsetting incident at some point that day was all manner of upset at his swim lesson. When I suggested that we cancel the class, she being a really intelligent and well rounded parent told me, "Just like learning how to swim, I'm trying to teach my son that one misfortune doesn't need to "ruin" his entire day... he needs to learn how to turn it around and I need to provide guidance and opportunities for him to do this. " I was pretty surprised but thought about that for a long time. I decided it was true, moods or misfortune or uncomfortable stuff can and does happen in life, but how long I hang on to it and how it affects me is up to me.
 
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