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Relationship Isolation And Giving Him His Space.

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Do you mean with no contact at all....or limited contact?
Actually, I guess I'll just answer both. Usually he will send a one or two word text almost every day or every other, even when it's bad. ie...goodnight or something like that. He will call me every couple of days to "check in", but I usually let him set the pace. But as far as "strained" contact the first "bad" time was 3-4 months before things were back to normal and the second big episode was about 2-3 months. Hopefully this time won't be as bad, because I know what is going on this time. He wasn't diagnosed with PTSD and getting treatment specifically for it until this time. He maintains contact, but very limited.
 
Actually, I guess I'll just answer both. Usually he will send a one or two word text almost every day o...
I ask because it's been an entire week since we hungout, and almost a whole week since we've had any contact what-so-ever.
 
I ask because it's been an entire week since we hungout, and almost a whole week since we've had any co...
I guess what I'm just trying to understand is how to get through this, you said a few months for your situation. How did you guys stay together? I'm sorry I'm asking so many questions, but you're the first person that made sense for me and has helped me get through this.
 
I guess what I'm just trying to understand is how to get through this, you said a few months for your s...
Don't be sorry, it doesn't bother me at all. It sort of helps to talk about it without feeling like a "victim". It helps that he tries to give me "some" contact, and I knew him fairly well before the first episode. Also, my father had terrible PTSD, so I was sort of made for dealing with it, I guess.

I'm pretty independent, so I stay really busy and I meditate and do yoga, and all sorts of things to make myself better in the meantime.

I guess we stayed together because I had enough patience to get through it without feeling like I needed anything from someone else. I spent the time alone making myself better. He saw it too...I think it inspired him to some extent.

I work hard on not being needy...and when I am, I definitely don't show it to him. I am also honest with him. I am kind and patient to him, but I make sure he knows my feelings are important too. It may be hard for him at the time, but he respects it later. I try to be realistic about both of our needs and feelings getting met. If I'm the only one that is "healthy" at the time, his needs take priority....but when he's the healthy one, and at times that happens, he makes my needs the priority.

It really boils down to what you can handle for yourself. Only you know that, and only your opinion matters about it.
 
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Don't be sorry, it doesn't bother me at all. It sort of helps to talk about it without feeling like a "...
Oh okay. That's good then. I'm just struggling so much because there's absolutely no contact. It just feels like he doesn't care at all and that he wants me to actually leave, but at the same time I know it's the ptsd, it's just really hard to grasp. I have no reasoning that he wants me here still. One week and hasn't contacted me once.
 
Oh okay. That's good then. I'm just struggling so much because there's absolutely no contact. It just f...
That does happen for some people. Actually, it happens in regular relationships too. If things were truly "good" before this happened, the possibility exists that he will come back, but he may not. But, if you aren't taking care of yourself and keeping yourself calm and "handling" it, it is less likely, I think.

Basically, if you can't handle it, it won't work later for either one of you because it will build resentment. You will resent him being "selfish" and "abandoning" you and he will resent you being "needy"....not that this is what is really happening, but that's how it will feel if you don't take care of things in a healthy way.

The only thing you can do, is take care of yourself right now...because if you're not happy/healthy, it definitely won't work...you have to have enough strength for both sides of the relationship at times like these. l know that I'm willing to stay because this time he is finally diagnosed and getting treatment. If that was not the case, I honestly wouldn't have stayed this time. I'm willing to because he's getting treatment too.

None of it is easy, and it's a long lifetime road. I'm lucky because unlike my father, my s/o isolates instead of being abusive...that's sort of the other end of the spectrum, unfortunately.

The best thing I can tell you is get help yourself too, it makes a big difference. If you talk to a professional about it, they will really know more than I do. All I really know how to do is cope without going mental myself.
 
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I too am new to this and my boyfriend tells me the same thing at times. I keep trying to reassure him that I want him (flaws and all) and that I'm here to stay. It is so nice to know that I'm not alone in this hard journey of loving someone with PTSD.
 
You are not alone... This is the hardest part for us; however, we can do this when we truly love them. There is no other for me. I am going on 6 weeks isolation with minimal contact. I will always be here for him...
 
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