Sideways
Moderator
2 recent overlapping threads have opened up a fascinating and confusing issue for me.
My abuse, the best I can explain it to the lay person, is "it was like being in a cult...but with only one other person". I try to avoid saying that, because I was never actually in a cult, so obviously, how the hell would I know what that's "like". But the explanation is simple, clear, and makes easy sense of a complex situation. More importantly, a lot of what cult victims go through, and their healing process - I read about that and sometimes can't help thinking, "Ragdoll, this is denial...it was basically a cult".
So, "I heard...and it felt like I was being sexually abused..." Reminded me of my cousin, very fixed on her right to home birth, but was essentially forced to go to hospital when the birth became complicated. She said "I felt like I was being raped".
No known history of rape. If I were to find out she has been raped in the past, my opinion would change dramatically. But since, to my knowledge, she's never been raped? Made me sooo angry. How dare she?
So the thread on Stockholm Syndrome. People come forward with "my situation was like being captive, but I was never actually kidnapped..." That makes me really uncomfortable. Because to me, the actual 'being kidnapped' is different. Is being locked in your room by your parents like being kidnapped? I doubt it. But then, it's so similar. And if the fallout is the same, and the recovery is the same, why do I have such a thorn in my pas about saying "...so it was basically Stockholm"??
I feel like saying, in my situation, "It was like a cult" is disrespectful. Or do I? Is it actually just denial? Am I actually thinking, "I'm not allowed to say it was like a cult, because it wasn't that bad"?
How important is the strict definition if the symptoms and treatment are the same? Is it disrespectful to people who have actually been in a cult? Or is it my own denial? My way to minimise my experience under the cloak of 'being respectful'?
People seem to have been activated by these threads, so I'm guessing it's not iust me that's starting to question - why does this bother me so much??
My abuse, the best I can explain it to the lay person, is "it was like being in a cult...but with only one other person". I try to avoid saying that, because I was never actually in a cult, so obviously, how the hell would I know what that's "like". But the explanation is simple, clear, and makes easy sense of a complex situation. More importantly, a lot of what cult victims go through, and their healing process - I read about that and sometimes can't help thinking, "Ragdoll, this is denial...it was basically a cult".
So, "I heard...and it felt like I was being sexually abused..." Reminded me of my cousin, very fixed on her right to home birth, but was essentially forced to go to hospital when the birth became complicated. She said "I felt like I was being raped".
No known history of rape. If I were to find out she has been raped in the past, my opinion would change dramatically. But since, to my knowledge, she's never been raped? Made me sooo angry. How dare she?
So the thread on Stockholm Syndrome. People come forward with "my situation was like being captive, but I was never actually kidnapped..." That makes me really uncomfortable. Because to me, the actual 'being kidnapped' is different. Is being locked in your room by your parents like being kidnapped? I doubt it. But then, it's so similar. And if the fallout is the same, and the recovery is the same, why do I have such a thorn in my pas about saying "...so it was basically Stockholm"??
I feel like saying, in my situation, "It was like a cult" is disrespectful. Or do I? Is it actually just denial? Am I actually thinking, "I'm not allowed to say it was like a cult, because it wasn't that bad"?
How important is the strict definition if the symptoms and treatment are the same? Is it disrespectful to people who have actually been in a cult? Or is it my own denial? My way to minimise my experience under the cloak of 'being respectful'?
People seem to have been activated by these threads, so I'm guessing it's not iust me that's starting to question - why does this bother me so much??