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Relationship It's Been 10 Days

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He has PTSD, I just thought it was under control. Honestly I'm assuming it's what's happening because the last message from him was good night babe sleep well, and nothing after that for 6 days. I've tried contact and he blocked my number. I have to assume it's his condition although we never talked about it. He did say he had it but it's controlled he said. It was so abrupt and things were great , so I can't imagine anything else. This sucks , I like him so much.
 
Well I feel kinda dumb here I was ready to give up on mine and I think he really sensed it. We don't see other people and we are 5 hours apart. We've just never had that "label" ..until today!!!!!! A girl was interested in him at a restaurant he was at with his daughter and he told her he was seeing someone (ME!!!).
We've made it clear for quite awhile that we neither one were seeing anyone else but we never had that title and I've just never heard him say it.

I know it's silly that I come here and bit#h and moan. I guess I get in the dumps to and don't know whether I can go on or not. I'm coming to realize the more he grows to care for me the more difficult it is for him so I just don't wanna be grumpy at him or doubt his feelings because I know he's genuine. I'm gonna work harder to not take it so personal when he gets in these "funks". It's not that I can't take it, it's just that it's so much harder not seeing his face or body language to know for sure it's just not me he's tired of. It's like a mind game. However I have to learn better. I may put up with some sh*t from him but he puts up with sh*t from me to!

I've decided to start a journal so I can look back on our sweet moments to help me when he needs his time. I have came to notice lately it's been harder on me when he withdrawals. He comes back and I say "you don't care about me"... To which he says "yes I do". That must be hurtful for him to hear cause I know he beats himself up. THAT little phrase will stop! I WILL become a better supporter for him because quite frankly I think he deserves it! I'm not saying I'm dropping all my wishes and needs here but I'm more or less choosing to look at things differently. Instead of going into this thinking mode of "he could care less about me" when I don't hear from him and getting upset with him, I'm choosing to say "I know how much I mean to him and it's not me and right now he needs my love and understanding not the brunt of my anger". Sort of like being on deployment and just wanting to come home to open arms!

Like someone pointed out to me, he comes back to ME time and time again and that means something.

You seem strong @Lilmssunshine I hope you hear from him soon!
 
No and this is new to me but it's a whole other world. I've done so much research and I'm not even sure he is coming back. If he only new the effort I've been making.
 
@Ccspec I would imagine you two haven't had time to really get into the meat of his PTSD, controlled doesn't mean this won't happen sometimes. I would say to write him a short email asking what's up. Assume he's isolating and ask him to contact you when he's feeling better. Who knows what could have come up since that goodnight text. If his head is crazy right now, profeasing your love and begging him to come back just won't sink in for him, so don't bother. And don't expect to hear from him for a while. I'd probably try to only write once a week, eventually he'll either write back or you'll decide you need to move on. Good luck. I hope he comes around soon. :)

@Glara You've had a love spanning three decades. You're both older and wiser now, you know what you want, need, and deserve. Sounds like ya'll need to have a big heart to heart and figure everything out.

When he asked in his last text if I had plans to be in town I told him I could make a trip down. He hasn't responded. Sigh.

Maybe he's gonna come see you? It could be a surprise!
 
@Thunderstorm I love everything you said up there! If there is any chance in hell, you just figured it out how to give it your best shot. Good for you. It won't be easy, but you've got to roll with those punches and give him the credit he deserves.:tup:

Oh! And I absolutely understand your point on voice and body language. That makes things so much harder! My guy cut off our Skyping dates 2 months ago. We've only skyped once since then, but he's still emailing nearly everyday. One step forward, five steps back. Ugh!
 
Thanks @Peach but he's not coming to see me. Unfortunately he's been in a very bad place for a while now. I got a suicide text from him last fall and he was hospitalized in Feb, but signed himself out. That's why he broke it off in March. He's just trying to survive and he can't deal with me right now. Sometimes I think I should just go there, but I don't want to stress him anymore either. None of his friends know and he acts like he's fine on Facebook and in public. I had to unfriend him because it was too much to watch.

He'll always have a place in my heart, he has for over 30 years, but there's really not much I can do. I have to let it go. This is what I told him. I told him I hope to hear from him so I know if he's alive. My stomach knots up and I get nauseous and then tears well up everytime I think about it. I feel selfish for missing him and hurting when he's going through so much more. But there's just nothing I can do.
 
@Glara I'm sorry to hear about the situation you're in. Very tough spot. I don't know what advice to give you. On one hand, yes, it does sound like you'd be better off letting him go and looking elsewhere for the companionship and love you need, but I know that feels impossible when you're so tied up in him.

On the other, hope springs eternal. You do have history. This is where watching too many romance movies get us into trouble - we all want them to realize they've made a mistake and come after us or us to be able to show up at their door unannounced and fix everything with a grand gesture. As for FB, maybe for him it was a case of fake it til ya make it? You're worried sick, rightfully so, but maybe that's one of the ways he is coping and it's helping to dig himself out of the hole he's in.
 
@Peach Im somewhat confident that he'll be back, but in what capacity and when?

As for Facebook that's very true. He didn't tell me he was being hospitalized but he posted on Facebook that he was going on vacation. I texted and said I'm glad he's feeling better ( meanwhile I was hurting that he didn't tell me he was going on vacation) He answered that it wasn't a vacation it was a hospital but he didn't want anyone to know.

I guess I'm feeling it's kind of pointless. Like I said, he'll always have a place in my heart. He always has. I don't know, I'm at a loss.

Thanks for your kind words, it helps more than you know.
 
You all are amazing women and I've realized that giving up without trying first is not an option. The days go by and I feel further and further away from my guy, like it was all a dream and never really happened. Sunday is his birthday and Father's Day , I plan to send him an email just to recognize him. So reading around is June really PTSD awareness month? If so could that have something to do with it... Who knows right...
 
This is where watching too many romance movies get us into trouble - we all want them to realize they've made a mistake and come after us or us to be able to show up at their door unannounced and fix everything with a grand gesture.

If his head is crazy right now, profeasing your love and begging him to come back just won't sink in for him, so don't bother.

I learned these two the hard way this weekend. Showed up unexpectedly, professing my love just got me even more hurt. Initially, I thought we had talked it out but he eventually wanted me out of his space. Said he loved me but he needed to get his head together. *sigh* I'm still learning.
 
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