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Undiagnosed Its Morning Again

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Exedra

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Where to start, I was involved in late March in three violent episodes. The first two were at work one was a road rage incident that spilled onto the property that I politely tried to stop and the two aggressors turned on me and it became a physical confrontation. The two days later while working alone on the property I accidently stumbled upon a man that I never have seen before, he pulled a handgun and pointed it at me, he did not speak a word to me I just fled back to the office totally freaked out for the next few days.
Then while I was sober my now ex fiancé decided to get drunk/high on whiskey and benzos, she said she was going to shoot me, tried to push me down a set of stairs then hit me in the head with a large decorative wood wall hanging, and I just exploded breaking things, broke a door, her bottles of booze, her cell phone, etc. and I was arrested. This behavior is very, very uncharacteristic for me.
Since that night there was 3 weeks of insomnia and other symptoms. I went to a joke of a shrink who saw me for 20 minutes($145) he said it could be GAD or PTSD and prescribed Gabapentin 1200mg a day it knocked me out the first few days but now I am having vicious vivid nightmares of the man with the gun, assault and the night with my ex. Flashbacks had a real bad one yesterday. After I ran back to office and locked myself in it basically immobilized me. I am also having a horrible time with dark thoughts, hyper vigilant, Anxiety really ramped up this morning was blown out of bed at 2:30am by a nightmare and could not go back to sleep.

Made appointment for therapy but is three weeks away, I don't know if I can make it, I try to hold everything in check but just fall apart
Thanks for listening
 
Welcome to the forum mate. You will find us a friendly bunch here. I send a :hug:from the UK if you accept.

If I can be of and help at all with your recovery, then please just private message me any time.

Laurie
 
Welcome to the forum! :)

I'm glad you're seeking out help. It may not be PTSD yet, so it's good that you're seeking help with your symptoms now before things get worse.
 
Welcome, Exedra! I'm so sorry that you've suffrered such traumatic events. It's sad that you ended up seeing a psychiatrist who doesn't seem to give a damn. :( I hope this doesn't cause you to think that therapy isn't worthwhile - I don't know how anyone can recover without it.

I'm glad you found us, and look forward to helping you on your healing journey.
 
Hello all and thank you for your good words, I started to meltdown last week and I was lucky to be taken in by the therapist, 3 weeks earlier than expected and was diagnosed with PTSD, plus the "sleepy shrink" concurs and took me off the Gabapentin that was making me suicidal. I have calmed down quite a bit still have the crazy nightmare and flashbacks. It is better than wanting, and or thinking about killing myself 24 hours a day.

Cheers
 
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