Need once again, to get this out of chest. As, it hurts and feels like a burden at times. Right now, it hurts and I dont find the right tool to regulate these emotions.
I have been isolating myself, from time to time. Its an ambiguous thing wanting friendships with people.The seeking I tend to identify as weakness, the not having is leaving me disconnected. I have been an admirer of the hermit existence, people who leave Zivilisation. This comes from a deep grievence, I guess no need to say that. I hardly let others in, fearing that my weakness comes to the surfance.
I still cant relate due to mistrust, I cant because I dont want to be dependent. Which doesnt mean I have to become dependent in a friendship. Why do I identify wanting to be in connection with others as weakness? From a rational point of view, I know its not true.
This leaves me sad, very much.
Shankara
I have been isolating myself, from time to time. Its an ambiguous thing wanting friendships with people.The seeking I tend to identify as weakness, the not having is leaving me disconnected. I have been an admirer of the hermit existence, people who leave Zivilisation. This comes from a deep grievence, I guess no need to say that. I hardly let others in, fearing that my weakness comes to the surfance.
I still cant relate due to mistrust, I cant because I dont want to be dependent. Which doesnt mean I have to become dependent in a friendship. Why do I identify wanting to be in connection with others as weakness? From a rational point of view, I know its not true.
This leaves me sad, very much.
Shankara