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Its not self sufficieny you isolate yourself!

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I have a real problem with social and emotional isolation as well...I desire to have friendships and close meaningful relationships with people but yet I still remain extremely guarded and unwilling to self disclose or get close to people due to trust issues and feeling like no one will actually understand me or get me, wanting to have control, or just unwilling to dig through everything I'm going through or have been through just to create a close bond. Most of my friendships remain superficial and I don't want this but I just seem to be stuck. It's hard
 
After reading the posts, I just realized how big os the effort I make on hidding myself from others judgements, opinions about me, my Life, my personality, etc. I am scared to dead on being rejected, also I am aware on how much I need acceptance from others. I am unable to accept myself and so terrified of being spotted as fraud. So I make my clown uplifting others performance most of the time. But I feel insecure and stay at self defence attitute. Don't know an answer here.
 
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