My father passed away 6 years ago. 6 month before my grandmother, 1 year later another grandmother. So many losses in a short time and I haven't been the same person. I've tried therapy, but give up when therapist seems uninterested in what I'm talking about. My father's death was the worst one. It happened after Christmas. I somehow feel if I stayed and didn't go back home 3 hours away, maybe it wouldn't have happened or maybe I could have helped. I knew simething wasnr quite right because ge said "make sure you take care of yourself" when I hugged him to go home. 2 days later I got a call he was sent to the hospital. Without thought, my husband and I packed a small bag of clothes for us and our 2 children, jumped in the car for the 3 hour trip. He was in the hospiral for 2 weeks, then sent home on hospice. Just the memories of him so weak and everytime he opened his eyes we would try and talk to him. I whispered "I love you dad". He could barely speak, but got out "I love". His last words to me. He suffered tremoundously. He passed of intracranial hemmorage at 61. I constantly relive everything and every detail. He's in my dreams but doesn't talk. He's just off to the side. I don't know what this means but all I want is to be normal again. I feel we've lost part of mom too. She has not been the same and every year her health is getting worse. So much to take in. I've tried therapy and try to explain these feelings but, as you see, no one wants to listen to a life story. Any advice?