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Jim's Mental Imagery

Discussion in 'General' started by Jim, Jan 20, 2007.

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  1. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

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    WARNING: If you plan on submitting your own mental imagery interview for assessment, DO NOT read the proceeding first, instead fill out your own interview first, then read these, so your current mental image is not skewed, resulting in a possible inaccurate emotional state being returned to you.

    This is an imaginery journey down a road. Take in the sights, sounds and colours, just like a video camera recording all that lies surrounding you. Survey the scene, noticing whatis far off in the distance, the background surrounds, the weather, the season and a total image of what you view. Feel the ground beneath your feet. Try to visualize it as a picture on a canvas, but with movement, sound, colour and emotion. You are the surveyor on this journey. Draw your journey on paper if you desire, as it often shows clearer results, then attach your drawing via snapshot or scan to your post.

    Q1. What colour is the road? The colour of earth.
    Q2. What texture is the road? Smooth polished granite.
    Q3. How solid is the road? Very solid. Large vehicles could cross without it cracking.

    You continue walking and come to a river that must be crossed. There before you is the river; the size and depth are up to you. You cannot go around it but must imagine a way to cross it. Whatever you need to cross the river is already within your mind, just imagine seeing yourself do it.

    Q4. How do you cross the river? Swim.
    Q5. What does the water look like? Clear blue.
    Q6. How fast is the water current? Slow but steady.
    Q7. Is there anything in the water? If so, what? Smooth stones at the bottom.

    You have crossed the river and continue walking. You come to a house. Take a good look at the house. Notice the impression it makes on you.

    Q8. What colour is the house? Reddish brick with a green trim.
    Q9. What condition is the house in? Older but very well kept up.
    Q10. Does anyone live in the house? If so, who? Myself and my family.

    We continue forward in our minds journey and come to an open field. A cup is on the ground, and we stop to examine it. The cup can be of any size, shape, colour and description. Focus on it's look, condition and contents.

    Q11. What colour is the cup? Silver.
    Q12. What condition is the cup in? Old but shiny, kept in excellent condition.
    Q13. Is there anything in the cup? If so, what? Cold clear water.

    You continue walking down the road and come to something blocking your path. It stops you in your tracks and prevents you from going forward. This is an obstacle.

    Q14. What is the obstacle, and please describe it in detail? My father and my 2 younger brothers, all three of whom are deceased.
    Q15. What do you see beyond the obstacle? Lovely scenery. Mountains, cliffs, ocean, blue expanse of sky.
     
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  3. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

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    Now you have had a break, go back to every question and look at your response. Try and find what you feel that your mind presented the image it did. Explain colours you chose, textures, water, cup, solids, liquids, space, objects, people, anything and everything that you wrote from your projected image, try and find what you feel to why you have that image. Don't look hard at things, instead try and look for the easy answers, as they are often the correct one's. Don't attempt to find something that isn't present, just look at each aspect for its absolute simplicity.

    This is not an absolute, but something you must do in order to try and self analyse yourself. This is important. Please answer what you can, and simply define if you cannot find an emotion to a response you gave.

    The Road:

    The colour of earth reminds me of the outdoors which I love. A very solid road is one I feel most comfortable walking and driving on, I wouldn't likely choose any other road.

    The River:

    I have always enjoyed water and swimming. I've swam across a river like this before. Water is very healing. Even sitting by a body of water and looking at it, has helped me in making decisions, or feeling better when I am struggling.

    The House:

    This house is similar both to the house I grew up in, and to the new house my wife and I recently purchased. Brick makes for a very strong house, and one that will be warm in the winter and cool in summer. Red is my wife's favourite colour, green is mine, hence the red bricks and green trim. Older homes have more character. All my family members are welcome in my home.

    The Cup:

    Silver is very strong, and even when it's old and has been neglected, it can be made to look new again. Clear water is refreshing, keeps things clean and has healing properties.

    The Obstacle:

    These 3 men are speaking to me from the grave. My father is saying I have responsibility as the oldest brother, to keep the family together. My brother Dan is asking me to take care of his son, and encouraging me to keep the family together as our father wanted. My brother Eric is trying to tear the family apart and destroy my efforts.

    Beyond the Obstacle:

    I've always loved nature and the outdoors. I go outdoors to relax, to reconnect with myself and my beliefs. It's better than any religion or church.
     
  4. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Sorry for taking so long Jim... as you know, I have not been well myself.

    You feel as though you are a little unappreciated, depreciated even at present within your life, likely due to enormous stress upon you. You are a trusting person that is aware of your problems relating to sexual intimacy. You like to take your time and enjoy the moment. You have a high self esteem, though are highly emotional regarding your support systems, whether past or present, and are aware of any flaws within these systems. You highly value committed relationships, are spiritual in nature, though present commitment towards someone, or something, other than your partner.

    Ok, I have left out the obstacle above, for discussion below, however; pretty normal for someone who has not really suffered or endured abnormal trauma within their life. Pretty good overall. You’re strong, spiritual, under some stress at present, but nothing overtly nasty in the above.

    Jim, your obstacle is another issue though. Now this likely has to do with you feeling unappreciated, yet feeling you’re between a rock and hard place, most likely due to what your brother did to his family, and himself. You believe you can handle these situations, yet you know the problem is consuming you emotionally and that danger exists on decisions you currently make, likely to do with Evie.

    Jim, how much have you discussed your families deaths? Your father and two brothers! You believe your father wants you to be the rock, to keep the entire family going, to solve all their problems possibly and keep things together. Did he say this too you? Your brother would want you to look after his son, not a great stressor there I believe. Your other brother though, you feel he is pulling the family apart from what he has done. Why?
     
  5. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

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    Well. Discussing their deaths? I suppose there hasn't been a lot of discussion. If there was a discussion, I wouldn't know what to say to be honest. I'll give it a shot though.

    Dad died in 1964. He had been a POW in Korea, left for Korea when mum was pregnant with me, came home when I was 3. He wasn't the best father. Struggled with keeping a job and drinking. In retrospect he may have had PTSD himself, that's another issue entirely. Drank himself to death, and on his death bed, told me I was the head of the family. I was 13, my 4 younger siblings ranging in age from 9 down to 2. Truthfully, I was disgusted with him, vowed never to be like him. However I did take his request to look after the family very serious.

    Dan was killed OS, about 2 and a half years ago. We've been taking care of Colin, as his mum couldn't handle him. It's worked out well I believe.

    Eric. Still don't know what to think about him. Obviously he needed help. Wasn't able to help him. Failed him and his family in that regard. Realize now there's nothing I could have done differently at the time. Would like to forget about him entirely to be quite honest. Still can't fathom what he did to his family. Suicide is one thing but taking other innocents with you, quite another. Ridiculous, but I have a bit of Evie's feeling of him still being around, his spirit at least, and striking at us from the grave. Everytime I see Evie struggling I am reminded of him, what he did to her. Everytime she tries to run or harm herself, I think of him. If Evie were to succeed in killing herself at some point, Eric would win, and it would devastate the family. She's the one thing we're hanging on to, to make sense of the whole situation, to have something good come out of it. Otherwise there's no goddamn point.

    Don't know if that makes much sense. Hopefully it does. I appreciate your interest.

    Jim.
     
  6. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Jim, do you despise your father for that request of his? Do you feel pressured into maintaining a family that sometimes knowing you just can't control? For example, when Evie contacted you again and brought you back into her life, you tried to fix everything, yet discovered quickly that PTSD just doesn't work that way. Now if your dad had PTSD, and more importantly, Eric had PTSD for all intensive purposes (which I belive he did from what I know of his health and behaviour), then how does this impact you? How much stress do you believe you burden as a result? Young age to be told to take charge of your family mate!

    What do you really feel about Eric though Jim? Do you love him, even though what he has done, yet don't want others to judge you for loving him as a brother, even though he has shot and killed others? Do you outright despise him?
     
  7. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

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    Never thought about it quite in that way, but I am thoroughly disgusted with him. Even to this day. Suppose I do despise him. Always considered him weak. As a child I was embarrassed by his weakness.

    Well. Not sure about pressured. Perhaps. Certainly I feel deflated this evening, as I failed miserably with Evie. Pushed her too hard again and drove her to hysterics. Still stubbornly trying to force her into getting better. I am a jackass.

    Again, never thought about it in that way, but I do take on more than my share of stress. Worried about my mum, my younger siblings, and now I worry about my children. I drive them crazy I know, as they often tell me to quit worrying, quit trying to solve their problems, fight their battles and so on. Have tried to be more relaxed, but I often slip back into rescue mode. My being so young when my dad died is part of the problem I believe. I've been taking care of my family for so long that I don't know any other way to be.

    Eric was my baby brother, 11 years my junior, so in some almost more like a son. I cared for him immensely. Wanted desperately to help him when he was on stress leave, tried my best. But I can't accept what he did. If he'd just killed himself, or even himself and Cheryl, I may have been able to accept that eventually. But to murder your own children, who you're supposed to love and protect above your own life, that I don't get. And never will. So while I do love Eric for who he was, I despise what he became and what he did to his children. And I don't feel sorry for him for having PTSD either, to be quite honest. Many people have PTSD and they don't murder their children.

    Jim.
     
  8. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Knowing what you just learnt about prisoners of war statistics with obtaining PTSD, do you think he was still weak, or he was more consumed with trauma from what he had suffered, and if he was a POW, we both know he suffered. Why weak?
    Most of that is male tendency though Jim, as its a genetic trait of ours. Females want to be heard, not solved; males want to fix, and resolve. Don't beat yourself up too much there mate, its a learning curve for us males, one that I still struggle with at times, no doubts at all.
    Who takes care of you though Jim? Obviously not yourself, being the most important of all to care for oneself.
    Totally agree... to take one's own life is one's own decision, but to take other lives is stepping beyond self boundaries. Your certainly not confused in this area, though still hurting about what he has done. If we could change the past, no doubt you would, as would we all, but we cannot change what has happened, only understand why it happened and learn from those mistakes and misfortunes that have been dealt upon us.
     
  9. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

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    I apologize. Should have made that past tense. Since learning about prisoners of war here on the forum, I am having more compassion for him. It's still sinking in at present.

    Obviously not myself. Very true. Kathy tries. Hell Evie tries too. She's surprisingly good at it. But I tend to reject their efforts. Too proud I suppose. Another thing that needs working on.

    Thank you for this mental exercise. Must admit at first I thought it was bunk, but you are giving me much to ponder here.

    Jim.
     
  10. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    That is the idea Jim... to bring what is already at your sub-conscious level to the conscious level for processing. We don't process at the sub-conscious level, it affects us and usually is where the problems lay unbeknownst to us, though by reflecting back what your sub-conscious is doing, the conscious part of the brain now brings things out to look at the real issues, not what we just think the issues are. More often than not, every person has hidden issues.
     
  11. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

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    Thank you again Anthony. I have learned much from this process. Surprisingly effective.

    Jim.
     
  12. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Well, this is nothing compared to what you would find if Dr Roerich did it. I am just a novice, under his wing with mental imagery, with a lot more to learn yet. Another year or two for me to really be in full swing with this one.
     
  13. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

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    Nevertheless, a good experience. Doubt I would have done it with a physician as I'm a bit leery about these things. Might though now that I've got my feet wet.

    Jim.
     
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