Per the request of someone, (she is in bed with the flu, today) I agreed to host a group each week in my home. I have not done this for 5 years and decided this would be a good expansion of therapy by integrating me back into a light social life. This is the second week, I have prepared that includes cleaning the house and getting up uber early to make sure everything is in order. This is now the second week everyone has canceled in the last 5 minutes before they were to show. I am struggling with the feelings of frustration over the lack of commitment from people. I got confirmations from everyone and still they don't show...oh! but "I will be there next week." Then I beat myself up over being so stupid to think that we could get this going. I feel rejected and lonely. I have thoughts of not putting myself out there anymore. This is not worth the effort for the angst it creates. I want to cry (which the T would be thrilled if I let things rip). The PTSD is roiling in my head. Not sure where I am. I feel utterly lost and in a weird void. For me, there will be no group and there will be no gathering at my house, in the future. This is too hard and too disappointing. Whine. Whine. Sniffle. Sniffle. Guess I need to fill out a CBT ABC sheet!!! Binge eating sounds more fun, though!