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Just disappointed

Discussion in 'General' started by Still Standing, Feb 14, 2018 at 11:34 AM.

  1. Still Standing

    Still Standing Active Member

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    Per the request of someone, (she is in bed with the flu, today) I agreed to host a group each week in my home. I have not done this for 5 years and decided this would be a good expansion of therapy by integrating me back into a light social life. This is the second week, I have prepared that includes cleaning the house and getting up uber early to make sure everything is in order. This is now the second week everyone has canceled in the last 5 minutes before they were to show. I am struggling with the feelings of frustration over the lack of commitment from people. I got confirmations from everyone and still they don't show...oh! but "I will be there next week." Then I beat myself up over being so stupid to think that we could get this going. I feel rejected and lonely. I have thoughts of not putting myself out there anymore. This is not worth the effort for the angst it creates. I want to cry (which the T would be thrilled if I let things rip). The PTSD is roiling in my head. Not sure where I am. I feel utterly lost and in a weird void. For me, there will be no group and there will be no gathering at my house, in the future. This is too hard and too disappointing. Whine. Whine. Sniffle. Sniffle. Guess I need to fill out a CBT ABC sheet!!! Binge eating sounds more fun, though!
     
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  3. ladee

    ladee All the hard work has been worth it ! Premium Member

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    Sorry this has turned out to be nothing you needed it to be. And I agree that shutting it down is the right thing for you. Not to say you can't start it again, in the future, with people who are committed...Don't know what kind of group it is... but it sounds like these are people that were not safe for you to begin with... try to take it as a sign from the Universe... it may have happened this way to save you a lot of future problems.... good for you for setting that boundry... and you owe no one an explanation to why it is no longer available...

    Good for you !!! Not all of our thinking is crazy !! This is a GOOD thing !!!
     
    DharmaGirl, Freida, littleoc and 3 others like this.
  4. Justmehere

    Justmehere Defying the odds Moderator Premium Member

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    Dang. So sorry this happened. :hug:
     
    Freida, joeylittle, littleoc and 2 others like this.
  5. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington ________ in progress Premium Member

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    When this kind of thing happens I try to remember what Brené Brown says.... That in order to receive love/care we must put ourselves out there and be vulnerable, but in doing so, we WILL fall flat on our face/butt many, many times. It’s just part of it all.

    I know it sucks to have this happen two weeks in a row! Well, especially since you did so much work on your house. Please don’t let this keep you from putting yourself out there. Maybe be vulnerable when it doesn’t involve a lot of work such as spending so much time cleaning your house?

    Hugs.
     
    Scarlet13, Bearlinda, BoN-bOn and 5 others like this.
  6. mumstheword

    mumstheword I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    Wow. That you are well enough to even consider hosting a group at your house?
    Lucky you.
    Honestly.
    Siver linings my dear, silver linings.
    It's disappointing but if you put it in context, that many of us here couldn't even begin to contemplate hosting a group in our house, maybe that will put things in perspective for you a little.
     
  7. blackemerald1

    blackemerald1 Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    Hey you tried & that's a good & healthy start.
    Ppl let you down, not you letting yourself or other's down!
    Ppl can be so fickle & you cannot control this unfortunately .

    I'd be totally pissed off too btw!

    But you know you have a really clean & organized house & are capable!
     
    DharmaGirl, Junebug, Freida and 3 others like this.
  8. She Cat

    She Cat I'm a VIP Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    I’d be pissed.
     
    blackemerald1 and littleoc like this.
  9. Still Standing

    Still Standing Active Member

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    Welllll, you all wanna come over for a party? House is clean. :rolleyes:
     
    Scarlet13, Bearlinda, Zoogal and 8 others like this.
  10. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington ________ in progress Premium Member

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    I’ll be there!
     
    blackemerald1, Junebug and joeylittle like this.
  11. ladee

    ladee All the hard work has been worth it ! Premium Member

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    I do, I do !!! I need to get out of my own house, it's clean, but it's the same four walls !! Can I bring something.. I'm a good cook... if you want anything Cajun, I can 'whoop it up'.....
    Love your attitude !!! Sending hugs for posting about this, and then being able to invite forum buddies to enjoy your company... that is huge !!
     
    Freida, Zoogal, She Cat and 3 others like this.
  12. blackemerald1

    blackemerald1 Well-Known Member Premium Member

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    Love to! My house is a big mess & I need inspiration from you @Still Standing & food... thanks @ladee! That sound's delicious!

    Oh bliss... just need a passport & a travel buddy!

    Honestly don't give up you are kicking goals even if you don't quite see it right now!

    Hug's
    b1
     
  13. Still Standing

    Still Standing Active Member

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    Thanks everyone. You are a real encouragement. If it were at all possible, I truly would open my home to you all. I would pull out the games and lay out a counter top of yummy snacks in addition to lady's cajun cooking. I would make an area available to those who need the social interaction and a separate area for those who feel safest simply observing. Ha! Ha! Can you imagine trying to navigate through a crowd of PTSDers? If we all could keep a sense of humor about it all, the minefield of triggers, stressors, fight and flights, and shut downs, would make for an interesting day. But, in the end, we could all say, "I did it! I stepped out of my safe zone for a day".
     
    Scarlet13, Freida, Bearlinda and 4 others like this.
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