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General Justifying Disgnosis

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Sighs

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My vet and I are friends with a woman he knows through a mate. She is a physical training instructor in the Army.

I was talking to her on the phone last night - she knows I am away from my vet visiting family - and she told me how she's spoken to my vet's former CO and he says they didn't really see anything bad and that he should still be working not on a pension. WTF?

I told her that I had read his psych reports - which I have. I asked her which deployment this guy was CO on. She wasn't sure. I pointed out my vet deployed ten times.

She kept saying that it's not the Army that gives people PTSD - it's a lack of proper nurturing as a small child which means they don't learn the necessary "coping skills" and that he would have "cracked" no matter what career he chose. He was the adored youngest child and only son.

She told me she has PTSD from an abusive relationship and there is no pension for her.

I see all the reasons it suits her to see the world that way but I feel like she basically called my vet a malingerer.

Just venting I guess but the whole conversation made me angry. Sigh!
 
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She kept saying that it's not the Army that gives people PTSD - it's a lack of proper nurturing as a small child which means they don't learn the necessary "coping skills" and that he would have "cracked" no matter what career he chose.

That's bullshit! She knows nothing of mental health. She is a physical instructor. Tell her to stay with her day job and leave the mental side alone!
 
Hand raised for another golden-childhood & still have PTSD over here!

It happens. That the military is an escape out of terrible childhoods for a helluva lot of people means that, yeah, the data is naturally skewed that way. But I know more than enough people who enlisted out of great childhoods to know I'm not some special little snowflake.

That her PTSD isn't service connected doesn't mean mine, or your vet's, or anyone else's isn't.

Snort. And you wanna receive a glowing report about me? Talk to ANY of my COs from the field. The only place I function like a normal f*cking human being. Wanna see me as a real shitbird? Talk to my base/barracks command. :wtf: Again. The only place I function, ain't on base! Ain't stateside. Outstanding in the field. Shit at home. Not an uncommon thing.
 
out of all the stupid things this person said to you ////// What does it have to do with her?? So weird.

Agreed. Jealousy is by nature pretty stupid though.

@Sighs if it makes your friend feel better I don't collect a pension, use my benefits, GI Bill, any of it. It just hurts too damn bad. LOL. See? She's right. Ain't the USMC, I'm just a pansy. ;) I suppose that's the difference, though. She wants to rate, and I know I don't. The day I turned in my kit I cried one of the 7 times in my life I cried post enlisting, walked off base, and until 2 years ago (ordered to go testify about some ancient shit) never looked back. Within a few weeks I was back in some 3rd world shithole, doing what I did best. Mad respect for anyone who can face the military, again. I can't. Too much ethos. Too much shame. Too much regret. Too much paperwork.
 
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Agreed. Jealousy is by nature pretty stupid though.
Good point.
She kept saying that it's not the Army that gives people PTSD - it's a lack of proper nurturing as a small child which means they don't learn the necessary "coping skills" and that he would have "cracked" no matter what career he chose.

She told me she has PTSD from an abusive relationship and there is no pension for her.
Did you tell her she lacked proper nurturing as a small child? And that she would have cracked, anyway, even if she *hadn't* been through an abusive relationship? *

*Sorry, I know that is pretty harsh of me. It makes me mad on your behalf, though.
 
How dare she. That made me really angry to read. Really! For your husband and for you. Some people are sooo self involved. I suspect this is about her having an agenda/chip on her shoulder to do with her PTSD.

I have no doubt that shitty childhoods leave people more vulnerable but thinking that nothing would affect someone in the future if thats not the case is just plain... delusional.... and ignorant. Good grief! It doesn't take much imagination to think that one through surely. Maybe there is only one brain cell shaking around in there, lonelily.

And people are guaranteed to crack if they have missing factors in childhood? No. She is reducing the endless complexities of the human mind and human experience into some small idea that suits her in some way. And how dare she assume to know what has happened to him and how he should feel about it. Grrr.

I'm guessing she is jealous and has hangups to do with her story.

Strength is about being a valuable human being in my mind. I suspect pretty impervious to certain situations probably often comes with things that to my mind don't make a strong human being. Just a limited one. Such as situations where caring is part of what compounds the trauma.
 
She's definitely never seen combat. What shits me the most is this idea that his CO reckons he never saw anything bad. I'Ve read his diaries from his first deployment. Either the CO is paddling up a river in Egypt or he doesn't want to let on to her or they were not in the same places at the same times.

Regardless I'm not trotting out his trauma stories so she can be satisfied he's got PTSD. She's never deployed. He qualifies for the Infantry Comvat Badge (at least 90 consecutive days outside the wire on operations in a declared combat AO) five times over.
 
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