barefoot
MyPTSD Pro
I have been referred to a sleep specialist about my night terrors and I now have to go in to do an overnight sleep study.
I had really been hoping I wouldn’t have to do an overnighter and had sort of convinced myself that I wouldn’t have to as my NTs are very unpredictable so the chances are that nothing will happen while I am there.
However, at my initial consultation a couple of weeks ago, the doctor said I need to do it and that they will only be monitoring and assessing my breathing etc - they are not trying to spot parasomnias including NTs.
He said I would likely have it mid-late February but I’ve now got an appointment for it on 14 January!
I can see the benefit of doing it sooner rather than later and just getting it over with. But I am feeling so, so anxious about it.
The main things I am losing my shit about are:
The whole thing feels so dangerous and so frightening.
Intellectually, I know they’re not just going to be staring at me sleeping all night (they will most likely be watching their screen of readings rather than actually looking at me). And I know no one is going to come in and do anything “bad” to me. They will only come in if I need a trip to the bathroom or if an electrode falls off and needs fixing or something. And I’m sure the staff there are very keen to make patients feel as comfortable as possible.
But knowing these things isn’t making it feel any less frightening. I am in a state.
I know I am being silly and overreacting. I know old stuff is being triggered.
And yet I still feel terrified. I can’t seem to calm myself at all.
Even the thought of a doctor taping a mic to my throat is really distressing and sending me into a complete panic.
I don’t know what to do :-(
How do you calm your fear/panic/anxiety when, intellectually, you know the fear is irrational but that knowledge doesn’t seem to be calming the anxiety at all.
Thanks.
I had really been hoping I wouldn’t have to do an overnighter and had sort of convinced myself that I wouldn’t have to as my NTs are very unpredictable so the chances are that nothing will happen while I am there.
However, at my initial consultation a couple of weeks ago, the doctor said I need to do it and that they will only be monitoring and assessing my breathing etc - they are not trying to spot parasomnias including NTs.
He said I would likely have it mid-late February but I’ve now got an appointment for it on 14 January!
I can see the benefit of doing it sooner rather than later and just getting it over with. But I am feeling so, so anxious about it.
The main things I am losing my shit about are:
- There being a camera in the room and being watched while I sleep.
- The fact that someone could just walk into my room while I’m asleep (or awake) and do whatever they want.
- How much they are going to have to touch me to wire me up - including sticking a mic on my throat, which is a body part that holds a lot of anxiety for me.
The whole thing feels so dangerous and so frightening.
Intellectually, I know they’re not just going to be staring at me sleeping all night (they will most likely be watching their screen of readings rather than actually looking at me). And I know no one is going to come in and do anything “bad” to me. They will only come in if I need a trip to the bathroom or if an electrode falls off and needs fixing or something. And I’m sure the staff there are very keen to make patients feel as comfortable as possible.
But knowing these things isn’t making it feel any less frightening. I am in a state.
I know I am being silly and overreacting. I know old stuff is being triggered.
And yet I still feel terrified. I can’t seem to calm myself at all.
Even the thought of a doctor taping a mic to my throat is really distressing and sending me into a complete panic.
I don’t know what to do :-(
How do you calm your fear/panic/anxiety when, intellectually, you know the fear is irrational but that knowledge doesn’t seem to be calming the anxiety at all.
Thanks.