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Lack of Motivation

Discussion in 'General' started by metis-siren, Jul 8, 2007.

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  1. metis-siren

    metis-siren Active Member

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    Hello everyone,

    I have some serious problems with motivating myself to get things done. I mean from doing my academics (damn well need to be motivated to read and write a paper), to doing simple thing around the house. I make my daily 'To Do' lists and try to set goals, but I still end up falling short. This is driving me absolutely crazy.

    I know I've had much more difficulties when in the midst of depression, and I continue to take my anti-depressants everyday. I'm drawing a blank. I know its good I'm making lists - but its important to get it done.

    Oh, motivation where did you go? I used to be so motivated about everything, and now it seems that everything takes at least twice as long to get started, let alone finish.

    Anyone else facing this, and have you found anything that helps?

    Sincerely,

    A. Lauren
     
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  3. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    Yep faced it lot's. I think we go through stages of this.

    Are your lists working?

    Lists are great but not when they backfire. If your making a daily list and then not getting that stuff done, it's that much easier to beat up and berate yourself and kill any motivation you might have had!

    Try not making a list! Only do what you absolutely have to, then try doing one extra thing at a time. Each thing you get done, congratulate yourself on!

    You'll probably find some of your motivation will come back. Helps me when I'm stuck in a rut!

    bec
     
  4. metis-siren

    metis-siren Active Member

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    Depends on the day. Some days I get everything done, and others I'm lucky if I get one or two things done on the list. I've actually gotten to a point that I sometimes put things like taking a shower down just so I can check something off.

    I'm having a difficult time seeing things as not essential - everything seems so pressing and necessary for the day. From readings for a class that I'm very behind in (and if I don't pass and do well in I get kicked off of financial assistance for my education), to making certain recipes before the food goes bad. Don't get me wrong, I love cooking and it often helps me de-stress, but when my pain levels are very high, anything seems daunting.

    I changed the wording at the top of my lists from To Do to Goals and I think on some level that makes me feel better. I guess I've just gotten so used to letting myself down that on some level I'm stunted by the possibility of either incompletion or not doing it well. Geez, that sounds an awful lot like the way I think when my depression has been bad.

    Thanks,

    A. Lauren
     
  5. She Cat

    She Cat I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    Hi,

    I think what helps me the most is 2 things. Exercise, even if only for 15-20 minutes 5 days a week. and I allow myself to give up trying for motivation for a day or two at a time. I do go to work, but anything else forget it....... I don't beat myself up for it either. I allow myself the time, and even tell myself that I need this. It works, and soon I am up and going again. If I feel this way on a weekend (Like today) I do NOTHING!!!!! Exactly what I have done today... Nothing......I think that giving yourself permission to do something eliminates the guilt. As long as what you are doing isn't hurting yourself or others......

    I ONLY give myself a day or 2 of NOTHING.... Then I kick my own butt :moon:and get going again....

    At least this works for me. I hope that you can find something that will work for you too...

    She Cat
     
  6. Lisa

    Lisa Well-Known Member

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    I have awful problems with motivation. Haven't yet found a way to motivate myself enough that I need to. It changes daily but never seems to be enough to allow me to do much. I did the list thing and when I found myself being unabel to complete the list I started making shorter lists. I would prioritise things and adjust how much I aimed to do in one day to however much I would handle that week. Some weeks I would manage todo mroe than I planed, some weeks it just didn't happen, so I would readjust. Even if it meant I only did one task a day, I found that helped me frmo beating myself up about not completing my planned day and therefore being more defeated and less motivated the next day.

    It's not ideal, my lack of motivation is severely interfering with my studies to a point where I don't know if I can continue them. But short term I find adjusting how much I plan to do to my motivation level at least helps me to feel less guilty and useless about it.
     
  7. metis-siren

    metis-siren Active Member

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    So, after some serious thought, I've realized that constantly being behind in my academics puts me in a state of mind where I feel I am so far behind, which severely impairs my motivation.

    I'd like to be able to drop the course I'm taking this summer, and just focus on me, finish my CICB application and take some time to relax, and not have my body and mind constantly holding stress. If at that point I still had time and energy that I felt I could put to good use, I would like to volunteer in the community.

    But, I can't drop the class without getting kicked off of financial assistance for my academics. I'm so scared. I'm scared of not doing well, of losing what seems to be any chance for higher education and my future plans. I'm scared of my PTSD acting up while I'm in school, during the CICB trial, and getting kicked out for needing time off. I'm just plain terrified. I've had a headache for days, and I guess its physically apparent to me that my stress levels are too high.

    Not trying to feel bad for myself, but I'm having some real problems seeing a way to fix this.

    Sincerely,

    A. Lauren
     
  8. hodge

    hodge I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    Metis-siren, I really feel for you. I was so lucky in that my ptsd didn't kick in until long after my education. But have you been seeing anyone in your university's counseling services? It would seem to me that, if you have, they could be an ally in negotiating some different deadlines for you. And if you haven't been seeing someone in the university system, I would really encourage you to do so. That's what they're there for. Keep us posted, okay?
     
  9. metis-siren

    metis-siren Active Member

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    I see a psychiatrist on campus. I've been seeing him for three years, it's good to have that relationship. I also make sure to keep the disability centre close by - but for whatever reason, none of the efforts are helping. I'm going to try a bit more tomorrow but I'm just really tired of all of this. *sigh*

    I'll keep you guys in the loop, I need all the support and open ears I can right now.

    A. Lauren
     
  10. Lisa

    Lisa Well-Known Member

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    I just want to say I feel for you. Currently in the same position. Uni. have been good in that they have allowed me to sit 4 of my exams in august and 3 in May to take some pressure off. Have you thought of trying to see if you can get your studies to work in a way that is not intense in bursts, like sit some exams later like I did?

    Wish I knew the magical answer. Good luck.
     
  11. metis-siren

    metis-siren Active Member

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    After more talks with the university, the situation has pretty much stayed the same. If I was to drop this class and I can't get any assistance for university for a year in which I must pay for my own studies to be able to continue on, which doesn't exactly work for someone on disability.

    So, here's where the anxiety levels hit the max: I have 24 days to get through 22 lectures and about 60 pages of readings each day. Yeah, the lack of motivation to do this is balancing with anxiety about failing.

    This is the time where I wish I had better self-esteem. I know I do well in my classes, and that I've pulled off A's and B's in classes where I've only attended 4-5 of the 24 lectures. That doesn't really help right now though. I wish it did.

    On a side note, the boyfriend has just hung up on me for being stressed out and not wanting him around (physically) when I'm doing my school work because he just wants to be here and hang out. Yeah I need my alone time and space, and he thinks he has a right to be here, and a right to spend time with the dog - my therapy dog. UGH! Oh, he booked a trip to Tremblant during the last few days of my classes before exams, and told me to be caught up by then because he doesn't want me working on it while we're there. That and that he thinks sex is a must for the trip, and when I told him how I felt he got upset with me for being where I'm at in my healing. Yeah - because a vacation with anxiety and feeling guilty, along with not being able to work on something to keep me in university is really high up on my priorities right now.

    On the bright side, I've been making some amazingly delicious food lately. Oh and I set up my computer and cleaned it up externally and internally!

    Oh stress, why are you so easy to come by?

    Sorry bout the rant..

    A. Lauren
     
  12. metis-siren

    metis-siren Active Member

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    Not doing so well this morning, woke up with anxiety so bad that I've been dizzy since I woke up. Oh, and I woke up with tears rolling down my cheeks. I've been trying to relax a little by petting my dog - who loves the attention. It helps a little but doesn't help with the underlying issue. I am so scared and feeling completely isolated.

    A. Lauren
     
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