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General Lazyness Vs. Perfectionism

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Or letting his grass get a foot tall before he mows it (we are talking about 20 square feet - flat terrain, if he does front and back).

I did not want to derail this thread but mine is just the opposite.

There are chores he cannot do because of his fear of germs... but...

Some things... like people he does not even know having an unkept lawn... or small things like this.

He can go on and on, complaing. I just learned to roll my eyes and wait until he is done complaining.
He can sound like a grumpy old man but isn't even that old.

He has a deep fear of all things dirty and imperfect - like he things that a person who cannot be trusted with the little things cannot be trusted with the big things....

and he needs to be always perfect when he dresses or the way he walks or having his briefcase in a certain order... and then he is so mega prejudiced against people who are different and for example scuff their feet.

I do think that he wasts to much energy on being perfect. Engergy he actually does not have.

He basically cannot allow himself or other people to be just lazy.
 
Much respect too you. I am a sufferer, but i could not live with someone like that. I have certain things that I have to be perfect, hence the reason no one else but my self can do it. It doesn't make sense to me to put it on someone else.

Every one has different ways of doing things, what one person thinks is the right way, is completely wrong to someone else. To be prejudice against someone for it doesn't compute in my book.

As mentioned in another thread I can't stand the sound of scuffing feet. But that is MY problem. Sure i ask my my husband not to do it especially when I am super sensitive, but I don't judge him for it. I only judge him for not stopping when I really need to not hear it at that moment lol.
 
Why do you hate scuffling feet? I am not sure why he actually hates it. He might be afraid that everybody will die as usually he has that fear.

It may sound odd but parts of him hates to be that way.
He has some odd fears. For example he thinks that it is dangerous to have your hands in your pocket when you are with the children because you must always be 100% able to safe them if they do something stupid and if you ever have a hand in your pocket you cannot do this.

So he has that fears which all end with "everybody dies". So maybe that dirty shirt is not just dirty, it is infected, and everybody dies.

Maybe we don't find our fire drencher and everybody dies.

So basically he does not want to be a PITA. He just cannot let go because as soon as he lets go it feels unsafe for him.
So I basically tell him that other people do not have that "safety thinking" and they do not die and my husabnd is never 100% convinced. He thinks they are just lucky bastards.
 
The sound is like nails on a chalk board to me. It doesn't make me fear anything bad is going to happen, it just really get on my nerves.

I am sorry, I should have been a little more understanding in my first reply, because I definitely have my little quirks that have to do with feeling safe, but it does sound like he is on the extreme level of that. Has he seen a lot of death? Correct me if I am wrong, but my guess would be that he has and felt very powerless to do anything about it.
 
They're all just ways of coping... just the exact opposite ways of handling stress. Your husband kicks into hyperdrive with dirt and perfectionism. That's his way of handling that particular stressor. Others get overwhelmed and paralyzed. It's not that they are being lazy, it's that they just cannot physically make themselves function. The stress is just too much for them.

Now that you've brought it up, I've noticed both kinds of reactions in my vet.

Some things he just goes into total overdrive with. One is his finances. He has to pay bills the second they hit his account. He checks his accounts online daily and pays everything as soon as its posts. He has multiple bank accounts set aside for different things and can tell you the balance on each one of them off the top of his head. He also checks how well his stocks are doing multiple times a day. That is a security thing for him. Being financially secure means he is safe. Another thing that he is way over the top with is vehicle maintenance. He was a Cav Scout, then Infantry later in Iraq when they needed to move officers around, so he is all about the PMCS. Poorly functioning vehicles get people killed. If a new vehicle lasts him more than 2 years, it is a miracle. He always trades them in a buys a new one. He babys the hell out of his motorcycle too. The state of my vehicle is enough to give him heart palpitations. I am mechanically ignorant and have the single-mom habit of buying a vehicle and driving it for 10 years until it explodes. He keeps trying to buy me cars, and I won't let him.

Other things are the opposite. The man just CANNOT go to the grocery store or Walmart. Cannot. He cannot take the crowd, people standing behind him, or the sound of babies crying while their mothers ignore them (and he insists that there is ALWAYS a mother ignoring her child's cries in Walmart). No matter what, I have to go to the grocery for him.
 
LOL I was looking and looking for the post you quoted me on, thinking I was missing the first several replies to this thread. D'oh! :giggle: Point of fact, Tater mowed and "strimmed" again, to which I responded, "What? Has it been a month already???" :D Good thing we can both take the teasing or we'd never last!

He's a funny/quirky guy; he complains all the time about what irks him even though he is just as guilty in other matters, but it makes me laugh. He can be very particular about some things and completely ambivalent about others.

The yard falls by the wayside, yet he has to pack up his groceries juuuust so. I was driving us back from a shopping trip one day and he was concerned about everything falling out of the bags and rolling around the trunk of the car. I said, "Nah, they're fine" even though we could both clearly hear the stuff flying around back there. To me, hey, it happens, and I haven't lost anything so far! When we got to the house he went to unlock the front door first while I scurried to the trunk and attempted to wrangle things back where they belonged. He asked if it was a mess, I said no, but he caught me gathering up the last few items. He was mumbling under his breath, "I told you so," so I said, "it was probably because of your packing job" He snorted, shot me an incredulous look, and I'm sure I caught a "fookin hell" thrown my direction. But it's clear to see he absolutely loves it when I'm snarky with him...which is good, cause I love it too.

It's not all one sided though, believe me, he gives as good as he gets!

I'm sorry, I've lost the point of this post.
 
My vet gets cranky if I put my hands in my pockets when we are 'working'. So if we are out in the paddock, or gathering firewood, or working on the vehicles I cannot put my hands in my pockets no matter how cold it is or how long I'm standing there. He also gets cranky if I scuff my feet or if I lean up against a wall or a table. I've always assumed he wouldn't let his soldiers slop around and he's just barking at me as a reflex action rather than for any deeper meaning.
 
Lol I just remembered... I know you guys are in different countries and all... but soldiers here are not supposed to have their hands in their pockets in uniform. It makes them "out of regs." I wonder if it is a conditioning thing? If they are used to being told to keep their hands out of their pockets?
 
What is "out of regs"? Is this if an individual does not meet the standards?

I think his main point is that the person who has her hands in her pockets cannot act when "an emergency" (whatever) arises and because of hypervigilance he is always afraid of an emergency and that is the reasoning behind this like I understood him.

I have no idea why he does not like people scuffeling their feet. I think our military allows scuffeling the feet - at least nobody told me that it does not but then I never asked. It's interesting you mention leaning against a wall or table. He rarely does this and there is another thing: he sits down less then other people, that makes you uncomfortable. I now that sounds funny but he does a lot of "standing around". Sounds odd, doesn't it? Maybe just a personal habit (that was what I thought before you mentioned leaning against walls) or maybe not. When he hurt his leg people asked him if he wanted to sit down and hesaid "no, no, don't bother". Made everybody feel uncomfortable. You have to DRAG him to a chair and MAKE him sit there. Could that be a military habit or a person thing or just because he is nervous. I toldhim he is making everybody nervous, but he did not believe me.

So his standards are to high. He thinks he must be perfect or it is unsafe while it is not.
 
Tater doesn't mind his or my own hands being in our pockets, but I know he worked hard to undo his training. I told him that aside from keeping his back very straight when he walks, he doesn't scream "soldier." He thinks he sticks out like a sore thumb and the "enemy" can spot him from a mile away. He actually went a little overboard, he makes an effort to not swing his arms, but he keeps them so rigid that he looks a little...well, stiff and awkward.
 
Hahahahha! My vet moves in a very distinctive way - I can always pick him out in a crowd. The only time I couldn't pick him out was when we went to our national military training centre. Its a large campus and we parked and he went inside a building to look for someone. I stayed in the car. Every SINGLE person I saw walking around the campus moved just like him! I kept thinking every guy who came into my field of vision was him! Lol
 
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