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Learned Something New Today

Discussion in 'General' started by Marlene, Nov 6, 2006.

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  1. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    I had a therapy appointment this evening and one of the things I wanted to talk about was the fact that I felt like my family and friends really didn't seem to believe me about my PTSD. I know I have problems with being hyper-sensitive and feeling paranoid. It's different when it's co-workers or acquaintances, but when it's close friends and family...well, that just hurts. Especially when it's my husband. It makes me feel really alone sometimes.

    My therapist explained to me, in no uncertain terms, that no one that in my support system is going to be able understand what I'm going through. Because unless they have PTSD, they'll never get it. They'll never understand the thought processes that someone with PTSD has to deal with. I have to take ownership of my PTSD and know that the support is there even if the understanding can't be.

    That was a tough pill to swallow. But maybe it will help me stop feeling like I'm :wall: :wall: :wall: all the time.
     
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  3. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Smart therapist Marlene....
     
  4. Nam

    Nam I'm a VIP

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    You did swallow it, didn't you? It's awesome to learn this so early in your journey. Keep up the good work, Marlene.
     
  5. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    OK, I am confused. Does your family like hubs does not believe you have it? My family doesn't, but hubs and kids with my crazy ass and hubs has done his own research and tells me Oh yeah you got it... Does hubs understand it or get it like me? No way. Does he want to crown me, at times most cetainly! But he wants to see me heal even if it is a hell of a road back.

    I have the support and when it feels I don't I have here to run as we all get like that. But if he truly believes you do not have it is my question, like faking it?? Because thinking you are faking compared to just you do not feel supporrted are two different issues all together.
     
  6. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Nam-yeah...I swallowed it. Didn't want to, though. But when someone shoves the truth right in front of your face, it's kinda hard not to acknowledge it.

    veiled-my husband and family do believe, but the problem lies with me. Especially with my husband I've tried to explain how I feel, what's going on, etc. I've read him articles and quotes from books trying to get him to 'get it' and then we both would get frustrated when he didn't. I felt like he wasn't trying hard enough to understand what I'm going through. But like my therapist said, he can't. He doesn't have PTSD. This is something that is mine alone and I have to deal with that.

    My 20th anniversary is next week. My husband and I have always been so close and in tune with each other (we finish each other's sentences and things like that) and we've always talked and been open and shared our thoughts, hopes, etc. Does the fact that he can't be in tune with me on this hurt? Oh you bet it does. I know he loves me and supports me. But I hate that this part of my life is closed to him. He also has his own issues of coming to terms with the changes in his wife to deal with. Oh man...I hate this shit. I just want to stomp my feet and scream like a four year old that I want my life back. I'm sure my husband would also like his wife back, too.

    Anthony-yes, he is a smart therapist. And this is harder than I thought it would be. And I have the feeling that it's going to get worse before it gets better and that really scares the hell out of me.
     
  7. batgirl

    batgirl I'm a VIP

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    Ugh yeah that would be really to swallow. I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I still want people to understand me. But good for you, Marlene!
     
  8. cookie

    cookie I'm a VIP

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    hey, marlene. you put my thoughts in to words. my husband is very supportive and kind, but he just doesn't "get" it either. i wouldn't either, i know, if i didn't have ptsd myself. i'll take that support, and try to remember to break things down for him, i don't understand a lot of what's going on my head myself, how can i expect him too?
     
  9. Nam

    Nam I'm a VIP

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    Marlene, it may get worse, but it also will get better as you stated. Try not to focus too much on the worse part. I feel as if you are on the cusp of beginning the truly hard part of the journey. You can do it. When you are ready, commit to healing yourself. The only way out is through it.
     
  10. JoannaG

    JoannaG Active Member

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    You are so blessed to have hubs work so hard for you and be there for you.
     
  11. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Ah...a little Robert Frost. I tell myself this all this time. Sometimes I even listen. :redface:
     
  12. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    I know I am. Sometimes in the day to day mess of life, it's easy to forget. Thanks for the reminder. :smile:
     
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