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Sufferer Leo - getting worse since i've been out of work

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JWW

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I have been out of work for 11months mow due to multiple injuries and surgeries while on duty as a LEO. I put in 8yrs and 9months in the department and never really thought to much of the anxiety out of work and the messed up nightmares. I thought that due to being in my career field that being hypervigalent was just something that came with the job.
After all the experiences I have encountered and situations I wish I could erase from my memory since the department released me due to limitations and restrictions I've noticed how much more intense the anxiety depression mood swings and nightmares are. I have gotten to the point where I just want to be totally isolated and don't enjoy going out anymore, going to parks with the kids and to church.
I feel like all my relationships are crumbling and my wife and kids deserve to be happy and have someone who can make them happy and enjoy going and doing things with them. I try so hard to put the act on to be someone or somwthing im not around other people or when I'm in public bit I get even more anxious and it's draining. It's hard to talk to people about it and I felt that a group like this might be beneficial or encouraging.
 
I can relate to those feelings. I need to start seeing a trauma therapist who is also a couples therapist. You don’t have to but if you are involved with someone they can participate if that’s applicable.

Too much isolation is definitely your enemy. I needed to go on medication also because my nerves were just totally shot. That in itself was really difficult because not only did certain meds not work on me but they had terrible effects. But I did find a good combination. Both combination of therapy, meds and time, honesty and involvement was the key. A good therapist will also give you certain tools to use to get you out and about. Mindfulness and meditation are difficult at first but can become a vital part of your life.

I also had to completely remove the use of alcohol from my life because it is just too damaging to the whole process of coping and recovering. I sort of had to relearn how to learn and explore other options of things that interests me. I was able to discover employment again. And I have since come off of all medication. I no longer need a trauma therapist though I find this site very valuable.

I’ve discovered that helping others in many facets of my life is the key to me coping with my own issues. It’s taken me six years to get to this point. I’ve had benchmarks all along the way.
 
I have been out of work for 11months mow due to multiple injuries and surgeries while on duty as a LEO. I p...
The job damages us and changes us because of all the trauma we see, the dangers we've faced and the choices we have had to make. All of this combined with the stresses of the job makes it difficult under the best circumstances to live a normal life. I've been medically retired for over 5 years now and I am still in therapy and healing. It's a process that I believe i will be in for a very long time. I have made progress with therapy, church and medication. These things help me but may not always work for everyone else. There are many treatment options out there for us and most mental health injuries are determined to be job related depending on the worker's compensation laws in your state. The biggest point I could make in all of this is to tell you that you are most certainly not alone and there is help available in many forms. Don't be afraid to reach out and start the healing process.
 
Workers comp has been trying to close my case out and settle for a while the state through vocational rehabilitation sent me to a psychologist and he even said from e everything we talked about it's work bit workers comp does not agree. As of today my wife has given up on this whole thing a d is ready to leave me. I guess it's for the best of her and the kids.
 
Dispatch here ... I've been out of work for 4 months due to some fun filled gifts from my military stint and everything got WAY worse once I stopped working. It's because I don't have anything to distract myself with. No more pursuits or CPRs or officers yelling for help. No more having to focus every moment and use that as a way not to think about what I'm hearing or dealing with. Now it's just silence.

Therapy is critical to keeping your sanity. You need someone to help you process all the crap you saw/did on duty and to help you process the issues of being out of work. I call my T my tour guide - she gets me from point A to point B. Make sure whoever you get has experience in trauma -- and hopefully emergency services.

Relationships are hard work to begin with - but when your brain is eating itself its even more of a challenge so I agree getting a couples counselor is good idea. You also might ask the spouse to check out the supporter section on this site. It can help show her she's not alone and give her some ideas on coping.
 
Welcome to the forum. (I say that, then I'm kind of conflicted, because it would be great if you didn't have a reason for being here!)

I hope the worker's comp thing gets straightened out. You ought to be getting the help and compensation you deserve.

I'm not so sure leaving you is the best thing for your wife and kids. I think all of you getting some help is the best thing, for a start. It really can make a huge difference. This isn't the kind of thing anyone can navigate well alone.
 
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