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Life-effects From Ptsd, Social Awkwardness And Rebuilding

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I'm sure there has to be things posted on this but I would really appreciate any members input, or own feelings and experiences.

Before my latest trauma (that seemed to set off all my other traumas and brought out my PTSD) I was a pretty normal, busy, social person. I went to school, worked, and had friends and a dating life. Since PTSD (for 2 years now? Damn) I have gone through so many phases. Being super agoraphobic (fear of going out), not having the energy, or not caring to go out. I let go of a lot of friends in case they reminded me of the trauma or were related to my abuser in any way and only kept long distance friends that I only had to text.

I'm really trying to rebuild myself and my life again now (though not over PTSD yet, just a new stage I think) and I just feel like a socially awkward person. It's so embarrassing. I know I do okay, I just feel a little too closed off and unable to connect. I know I come off as over the top happy and polite and that's just annoying. It's still such an effort to make myself go out most of the time, I just want to do better.

I'm sorry that kind of went in a few directions, I just would love tips on rebuilding or overcoming this social awkwardness!

Thanks guys:hug:
 
Good thread. I keep telling myself I need to go out socially. But I'm still so scared of how I'll react to people. I feel so much different than everyone else. I don't know if my brain will function properly. Will I be forgetful and stumble on my words? I can understand what you are going through. One big giant leap out there in the real world. Maybe or I'll be a hermit forever.
 
Hi DM,

I know how you feel, I am going through the same stuff at the moment. I was sort of ok for a lot of years never ever did the pub drinking thing even when young as I don't drink any alcohol, so always felt that I didn't fit in but did the mum thing with kids as they grew up my last trauma was just a few years ago and since then life has just gone from bad to worse. I have isolated myself more and more and have got to the stage that I only go out for appointments or groceries, I hide out at home and hardly answer the phone unless I know who it is. I didn't even do the groceries for a while as I had a meltdown in the middle of the supermarket and had to walk out and leave a trolley full of groceries. I am scared of going out in the sun for fear of it killing me. I live in fear day in and day out I try to tell myself that it is just being stupid but I don't seem to be able to listen to myself. I have very close friends that I haven't seen for months and months and make stupid excuses as to not visit. My world is getting smaller and smaller and I just can't seem to expand it back the other way.

I wish that I could help you and offer you tips but I think that I am the worst person to do that but I can let you know that you are not alone in how you feel and I know their are lots of other people on here that feel the same. I hope you get some answers as It may be able to help me get through some things and a lot of other people on here as well.

Take care DM.

Sammy
 
Hiya Sammy,

I can relate to the isolation- I don't go out unless I have to. Your right- it's tough to maintain friendships when you never want to go out. This isn't for everyone, but I got a puppy and it's helped. I'm sure I'm not the only one who finds it easier to care for someone else than for myself and he has helped me through some dark times.

Walking him means I don't have to "interact" regularly and when people stop to ask questions, I just answer- there's no going out on a limb.The unconditional, non-judgmental love he gives me has helped as has not being alone all the time. Maybe in the back of my head, it tells me that if he can love me, maybe I can too.

Hope this helps a bit....

Warmly,

Sarah
 
It's good, if sad as well to know that there are others who have a tough time going out into the world. Home feels safe, even wen my depression leaves me little energy to even keep my house clean.
It's kind of a roller coaster for me. I mean going out in public, only when I have to shop or something like that. I don't remember the last time I went to a party, even when invited. I've never liked to be around too many people. It feels chaotic like I have no control. When I do go to a social function I either have to find a place to hide or kind of monopolize the room.
Mostly though I stay in my house or when I have more energy I go out in my lot where I spend alot of time clearing land, cutting and splitting firewood and things like that. Also I can go out into the woods. Sometimes with my old military pack and just kind of move quietly. That or I like to hunt. Being self suffieciant (sorry about my spelling) is huge for me.
Anyway, What I wouldn't give to go out into the world and not be scared and maybe meet some friends and even be strong enough to find a woman to love.
I know others have been where I am and it seems like here there are people who have been through it and are happy and well adjusted,
 
I'm sorry for taking so long to respond, but thank you guys all so much for understanding. Even if nobody really knows how to overcome it yet, I'm just really glad to know some people can relate and understand.

You are all seriously so amazing and always make me feel better!
 
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