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Deleted member 28403
Just a bit of my flow of thoughts. Life being a what then game. But why do all of that.
For example, a brief look at a normal life and the society set goals.
"You have to finish college! And what then? Get a job! And what then? Get married! And what then? *insert some other life stuff* And what then? - well, if you are done, just wrap up life and die"
I feel like there is no sence in life, everything just being a game, a set of repetitive tasks. A story that gets repeated. I sometimes feel my life will turn into that, just chasing goals for the sake of goals themselves, without any meaning. Just like chasing power for the sake of being a person with power, no meaning. I am afraid that there will be a day when I will look back at what I did, at what I achieved, and that I will just see an empty shell, a meaningless life. Just achieving goals for the sake of being a person that does that stuff. Feeling like the life was set upon me, but by accident. Like I was supposed to have a different life. Stuff I achieved in life, it feels like I did it just to be the one to do those things. Like doing a wierd task that makes no sense in a game, just to get some achievement. But why.
It turns into a "What then?" game. Without meanings. I feel like it's all an act.
Why do I do mathematics, why am I good at it, why do I attend math competitions? I don't know, I don't know anymore... Because someone told me to. Because someone told me that I'm good at it, and that I should do it. I feel like my life is fake, like it is just a planned out setup. A piece of code without meaning. I don't know why do I do stuff I do, if in the end I'll probably just die cold and alone.
Why am I even at this, at the game of life? Thats the question that runs my mind as tears flow down my face.
For example, a brief look at a normal life and the society set goals.
"You have to finish college! And what then? Get a job! And what then? Get married! And what then? *insert some other life stuff* And what then? - well, if you are done, just wrap up life and die"
I feel like there is no sence in life, everything just being a game, a set of repetitive tasks. A story that gets repeated. I sometimes feel my life will turn into that, just chasing goals for the sake of goals themselves, without any meaning. Just like chasing power for the sake of being a person with power, no meaning. I am afraid that there will be a day when I will look back at what I did, at what I achieved, and that I will just see an empty shell, a meaningless life. Just achieving goals for the sake of being a person that does that stuff. Feeling like the life was set upon me, but by accident. Like I was supposed to have a different life. Stuff I achieved in life, it feels like I did it just to be the one to do those things. Like doing a wierd task that makes no sense in a game, just to get some achievement. But why.
It turns into a "What then?" game. Without meanings. I feel like it's all an act.
Why do I do mathematics, why am I good at it, why do I attend math competitions? I don't know, I don't know anymore... Because someone told me to. Because someone told me that I'm good at it, and that I should do it. I feel like my life is fake, like it is just a planned out setup. A piece of code without meaning. I don't know why do I do stuff I do, if in the end I'll probably just die cold and alone.
Why am I even at this, at the game of life? Thats the question that runs my mind as tears flow down my face.