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List Your Joke, Funny Caption To Brighten Ptsd

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lost poem I love my job.jpg
 
This is one of my husbands made up jokes, so sorry if you think it is really bad and it brings on the groans. :rolleyes:

What do Pirates call toilet paper ????

Arrrrrrrse wipe.

You were warned it was bad :roflmao:
 
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
My wife and I are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
People who write diet books live off the fat of the land.
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.
I just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.
Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
 
You don't have to be a Canadian only to understand this one.

There will be no Nativity Scene in Ottawa this year! The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene on Parliament Hill this Christmas season. This isn't for any religious reason; they simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the nation's capital.
The search for a virgin continues.

There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.
 
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Tylden fire station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in

a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden

hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The girl was wearing a firefighters helmet.

The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.
'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration.

'Thanks,' the girl replied.The firefighter looked a little closer.

The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the

cat's testicles.

'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how

to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's

collar, I think you could go faster.'

The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right,

but then I wouldn't have a siren.'
 
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